Monologue Lady

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The real mystery is why this lady talks to me at all about her so perfect life....she has a huge following at our gym and people are fascinated with her stories.....amazes me.

I have a lot of experience with storytellers. Just let them talk and don't try to get a word in as they are really talking to themselves....hahahaha

By tolerating her yakking this long, you've given the erroneous impression that you are interested in what she has to say. Any backing down at this point will likely offend her.

I think you might just plan in advance what to say to her next time in the hot tub. Could you tell her you use this time to meditate? Then just close your eyes and not respond to anything else she says?

If other gym members adore her, let them. You'll be off the hook.

Bea is right! I didn't nip this in the bud. As for the other people adoring her, that doesn't bother me in the least. Sometimes it lets me off the hook.

Bea is right. I should have nipped this in the bud sooner.

... do you have any flexibility in your gym schedule? Is there any way to just start being there when she is not, and not being there when she is?

(Won't work if you're taking the same workout classes like T'ai Ch'i or spinning, I know. But if you're just there to do sets, it might work, if your schedule allows. And yes, I know what an upheaval this would be. I had to do it myself, long long ago, switched from after work to before work. It was extremely annoying, but far less annoying than the pest I avoided.)

Also, be-very-ware of compulsive liars, who never let you get a word in edgewise, and who are the center of their own little personality cult where everyone thinks they are wonderful *because* they're constantly telling everyone how wonderful they are. These are the hallmarks of the common or garden variety sociopath, and they always turn nasty, and when that happens their worshipers are often eager to join in.

(If you cannot avoid her, the Gray Rock technique might work. Be dull, dull, dull and don't react or respond other than perfunctorily (but politely) - definitely don't open up about anything, no matter how much she confides or tries to impress. If you can be consistently dull, flat, boring, without antagonizing, she'll lose interest and go after tastier prey.)

Sorry you have to deal with this.

I think she could be a sociopath.....I can avoid the therapy pool at night for awhile.

I'm sorry to be such a "downer" about that, but over the course of a long working life and much reading on the subject I've concluded that the experts badly underestimate the prevalence of sociopathy - perhaps because they focus on the really extreme cases. But there are way more than their estimated 4% of people who run around without a trace of conscience, when push comes to shove. And that's the bottom line...

Again, I'm sorry you're stuck having to deal with this.

Esmeralda, you are just being realistic. I worked with someone like that as well. No freaking conscience.

I'm a great listener oddly enough. That's what gets me sucked in.