Why we have opposite sex friends not just same sex friends

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blooiejagwa
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11 Feb 2019, 7:13 pm

I guess it could be a bit of both


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Piri Alchami
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11 Feb 2019, 8:54 pm

blooiejagwa wrote:
I guess it could be a bit of both

Agreed.



HighLlama
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13 Feb 2019, 5:21 am

Piri Alchami wrote:
Mapofsteel wrote:
Prometheus18 wrote:
I have no friends of either sex.

Doesn’t that make you lonely, depressed, and unhappy all the time?


That is an insensitive question, but not for the obvious reasons..

Some people prefer solitude to associating with dimwitted twats...and perhaps Prometheus18 is one of them. Personally, I can generally stand such individuals for only short periods of time, and then recuperate for a few days.


If you think everyone else is a "dimwitted twat" then you are the problem.



Piri Alchami
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13 Feb 2019, 2:24 pm

HighLlama wrote:
Piri Alchami wrote:
Mapofsteel wrote:
Prometheus18 wrote:
I have no friends of either sex.

Doesn’t that make you lonely, depressed, and unhappy all the time?


That is an insensitive question, but not for the obvious reasons..

Some people prefer solitude to associating with dimwitted twats...and perhaps Prometheus18 is one of them. Personally, I can generally stand such individuals for only short periods of time, and then recuperate for a few days.


If you think everyone else is a "dimwitted twat" then you are the problem.

Everyone...?



HighLlama
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28 Jun 2019, 11:07 pm

^^There's an implication in the statement that most people are "dimwitted twats."



jazlyn
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28 Jun 2019, 11:23 pm

I am of the female gender and I can understand why it's hard to understand. People are different whether all your friends are of the opposite gender or not. I am a tomboy and despite what people think, I am that way, all of my friends are guys, all that matters is that the persons personality not their gender. There is no logical reason to why that is but it is. If you want my personal opinion I think that guys are very good friends, they don't fangirl over makeup or worry how they look, they play sports and don't scream if they see a from, insect, etc..( I think frogs and snails are cute LOL)I believe that even though people are different they can get along no mater what. I think that people who can get over your appearance and gender are good friends. I can't tell you a scientific reason for your question but I hope that what I said helped. :D



JustFoundHere
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01 Jul 2019, 2:33 pm

I favor platonic acquaintances with women. I also favor acquaintances with............like minded those of the same sex. From an early age, I learned to value acquaintances with smart, thoughtful, and caring women, as well as valuing acquaintances with men who are like-minded.

Developing such friendships are doable, healthy goals for HFA. For those of us who on a first name basis regarding small talk, developing friendships with thoughtful people are doable, healthy goals to achieve! The 'Social Skills & Making Friendship Forum' sorely needs to boost such examples of friendships.



BenderRodriguez
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01 Jul 2019, 3:15 pm

JustFoundHere wrote:
I favor platonic acquaintances with women. I also favor acquaintances with............like minded those of the same sex. From an early age, I learned to value acquaintances with smart, thoughtful, and caring women, as well as valuing acquaintances with men who are like-minded.

Developing such friendships are doable, healthy goals for HFA. For those of us who on a first name basis regarding small talk, developing friendships with thoughtful people are doable, healthy goals to achieve! The 'Social Skills & Making Friendship Forum' sorely needs to boost such examples of friendships.

Spot on, this reflects my experience to a T!

I would have missed on such meaningful, quiet but profound connections with people if I rejected by default having friendships with women.

Sure, other kind of feelings can develop and will sometimes, but the choice to act on them is still under our control. I had a very tough childhood and grew up without a mother and I doubt I would have been capable of having good/healthy (romantic) relationships if it wasn't for some remarkable women that I met and sometimes made friends with.


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Prometheus18
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01 Jul 2019, 3:30 pm

I never really wanted opposite sex friends as a child.



Mapofsteel
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01 Jul 2019, 7:15 pm

jazlyn wrote:
I am of the female gender and I can understand why it's hard to understand. People are different whether all your friends are of the opposite gender or not. I am a tomboy and despite what people think, I am that way, all of my friends are guys, all that matters is that the persons personality not their gender. There is no logical reason to why that is but it is. If you want my personal opinion I think that guys are very good friends, they don't fangirl over makeup or worry how they look, they play sports and don't scream if they see a from, insect, etc..( I think frogs and snails are cute LOL)I believe that even though people are different they can get along no mater what. I think that people who can get over your appearance and gender are good friends. I can't tell you a scientific reason for your question but I hope that what I said helped. :D

That’s part of the problem for me right there, I don’t see personality at all.



Mona Pereth
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02 Jul 2019, 11:12 am

Mapofsteel wrote:
That’s part of the problem for me right there, I don’t see personality at all.

How do you not see personality? You don't notice, for example, that different people tend to have different behavior patterns, different likes and dislikes, different attitudes, different sense of humor, etc.?


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Fireblossom
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02 Jul 2019, 11:57 am

Prometheus18 wrote:
I never really wanted opposite sex friends as a child.


Come to think of it, me neither. It just... happened. It was the same sex friendships that needed work... but then again, I was a bit of a tomboy.



Mapofsteel
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02 Jul 2019, 7:30 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
Mapofsteel wrote:
That’s part of the problem for me right there, I don’t see personality at all.

How do you not see personality? You don't notice, for example, that different people tend to have different behavior patterns, different likes and dislikes, different attitudes, different sense of humor, etc.?

That's exactly right. I only see MY point of view, what interests ME, how *I* feel, and I don't appreciate that anyone else would think any differently than I do.



breaks0
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02 Jul 2019, 10:38 pm

I'm lifting this post from another related thread on this board. Friends who are girls or women have long been some of the most important friends I've had in my life going way back to when I was a kid. My last best friend back in grad school I got very close to and when she graduated and went back to Mexico 6 years ago I lost a huge part of my social support system. For the last 6 years I've had some women friends (one or 2 of whom were good friends) but nothing like what I'd had in the past. Until this year. I made a friend through my support group in the last few months and we have so much in common including one of our main SIs that now I've finally made a best friend who's also a woman. It's wonderful b/c I finally have someone I can do things with who likes spending alot of time w/me often. She's smart funny kind politically leftist (like me) and also very supportive.

All of this has made my life so much better but it's furthermore given me hope that I'll make more friends who are women and will eventually find a partner. The key thing is practice practice practice and that's what I've been doing and will continue to do.



Mona Pereth
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03 Jul 2019, 12:47 am

Mapofsteel wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
How do you not see personality? You don't notice, for example, that different people tend to have different behavior patterns, different likes and dislikes, different attitudes, different sense of humor, etc.?

That's exactly right. I only see MY point of view, what interests ME, how *I* feel, and I don't appreciate that anyone else would think any differently than I do.

However, in another thread here, you wrote:

Mapofsteel wrote:
I have interests that I feel no one else has.

This appears to contradict what you wrote above, unless I am misunderstanding it.

Anyhow, why do you feel that no one shares your interests? How hard have you looked for people who share your interests? Surely it should be possible to find such people online, if not in real life?


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KT67
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03 Jul 2019, 5:08 am

I never really wanted same sex friends as a child.

Only as I got older did I realise that other women around me had depth and were just masking it.

I suppose same could be said for the boys too (anyone who was 'too clever' got bullied) but at least the boys had fun instead of putting on nail varnish all the time and sitting around chatting about nothing, girls' only game seemed to be skipping (and I'm dyspraxic...).

I mean there was nothing really 'deep' about me and my best friend having burping contests... it was funny though... (I am talking about 7 yos for the record not grown ups)

I'd like male friends but only if they know how to treat someone like an individual and respect her (me). I'd like female friends but only if they didn't fit the 'feminine' mould. It's funny saying 'I'd like' because I pretty much have both except that adults don't do the 'do you want to be my friend' question when it's platonic.

Does anyone else miss that question? It divided off who was your friend and who wasn't more clearly. But if an adult asks it they're asking for more than just platonic friendship.


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