Problems with being an empath

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Some of my experiences with feeling emotions didn't make sense still don't. Sometimes I only feel certain emotions around certain people, so it is very hard to own them in such cases. It might be some ques like body language that I only register subconsciously then got too overwhelmed to process. I have had times when someone said something hurtful, my feelings got hurt but I couldn't remember what they said because I shut down too quickly. I have also had experiences of being extra careful for no logical reason at the time then still getting into trouble. I am not sure how much of this is receiving ques and only processing them in the subconscious or if there really is a sixth sense. I am trying to insert pauses either way to avoid getting too overwhelmed to understand what is really going on, it is probably going to take a long time because again it is the subconscious doing all this.

I also am an empath. I have ADD and grew up in a very unstable home.As someone said previously I also had to self protect by monitoring my parents moods. Will they laugh at what I said or will I get slapped or yelled at.

I am finely tuned to people's moods it's an "Iron Dome" system to be alert to deal with attack. I do usually get it right and it is useful for my profession in the past as a nurse to help people feel less alone and also as a teacher.

I feel very uncomfortable with bossy, nervous, aggressive types and I feel physically ill in their company. It's psychological I think but they really distress me. I think some people's energies are incompatible.

Question: my friends on the spectrum are very sensitive to temperature, smells and sound. Is it possible that some people can sense the energy field, positive, negative, nervous, if so, if that person could not identify the type of energy then that would be really unsettling. Is that what not identifying emotions feels like?
I had an Aspie friend ask me once why I was smiling. That made me sad because I would only smile because I am happy to see him. The question made me think that he is used to people laughing at him. Why else would he ask?

No.

All EM fields generated by neural and neuro-muscular activity are undetectable from more then a few centimeters away from a person's body by even the most sensitive of scientific instruments -- human senses are much less sensitive. There is also no evidence for the existence of any "psychic" energy at any distance from the body.

What is most likely is that you have developed unconscious thought processes that give your conscious mind a "warning" about a current situation that you have also experienced in the past. Unconscious thought processes like this are called "Intuitive". Our intuition processes ordinary sensory data without us being consciously aware of it. Then our intuition informs us through feelings and impressions of things that may be going on around us that we are not consciously aware of.

I had an abused childhood. I better able to detect when someone is lying to me or in a hostile mood than others, yet I seem to be less able to detect honest and/or friendly attitudes than others. Experience has taught me to be aware -- both consciously and unconsciously -- of hostile intent at the expense of knowing when someone is being genuinely friendly toward me.People ask for any number of reasons. Maybe your friend wanted to have a reason to smile, and believed that whatever had made you smile would make him smile too.

I don't understand this at all - your friend, as an Aspie but also as a human being, is perfectly entitled to ask a reasonable question i.e. 'Why are you smiling?' He doesn't know for sure, he might have some thoughts about it but he doesn't really know as he's not a mind reader but he would like to know so he asks you. From this you infer some kind of meaning that you think it must have but this is only in your mind: you impute a reason for his question that is generated purely from your own psyche and then feel sad about it as a result. Did you in turn ask him the reason for his question? You say 'Why else would he ask?' The answer is you have no idea unless you ask him. Surely this is just fundamental to our whole situation: we know nothing about another person's thoughts/ feelings/motivations etc unless a. they are very clearly communicated to start with or b. we seek clarification if they are not.

The whole notion of being an 'empath' to me is fundamentally misguided and frankly self-aggrandising (nothing personal, I'm just saying). I don't think there is such a thing as an 'empath', I think it's just an idea about themselves that some people seem to find appealing.

Aurora911 have you tried doing any meditation? It ought to help you with not only knowing your own energy a bit but with some control. Takes time and practice of course, but it might help. You sound a bit like you're getting blown around in the wind.

As I understand it: Something like that. Without getting into various ins and outs - most things are made up of varying degrees and kinds of energy. Empaths pick up on the energy of other living beings. When someone has an emotion, it, shall we say...creates a ripple in the energy. Empaths often pick up on that and take in/absorb that energy flow. Depends how 'in tune' someone is they may be able to tell what each emotion each flow represents but other times it can be vague. For me (I don't consider myself an empath, but I have some tendencies) its just a difference of negative, 'heightened energy', peaceful, and regular a lot of the time. All but peaceful makes me tired.

Negative feelings, whether your own or another's tend to drain others, so for you it'd be more intense. So it's not strange that a domineering energy would make you feel a bit sick. Toxic people are absolute hell on an empath o_o You know how some animals that are generally quite sweet and friendly with strangers will for seemly no reason just absolutely hate or be frightened of someone? It can be like that, they are feeling something from that person that puts them on guard.



Uh maybe he thought you were thinking of a joke/something funny? Maybe he thought something good had just happened to you? Maybe he thinks you normally have a dead pan face so the smile seemed out of the ordinary?

Lol perhaps I should have described the setting in more detail? It was the second time we had met. I had just opened the door and he had a shocked look on his face, he was wearing a beanie hat. "Why are you smiling?"
Wouldn't you expect someone to smile when opening a door to welcome you in?

This was three years ago and we are romantically involved. Though you are correct, I should have asked him, but our communication is challenging at best It is a problem of mine not asking questions at appropriate times if I feel insecure.

Bnord: So sorry you experienced abuse. I am being treated by a psychologist using AEDP specifically for complex PTSD. I have apparently fundamental difficulties with attachment. The brain builds a defense mechanism that regards all people as a threat (if I have understood my therapist correctly) when continued abuse occurs in childhood.
We are working on reprogramming my brain by dealing with each trauma individually. Perhaps it may be useful for you? So far I don't see much of a change but we have just begun. Initially we are working on establishing trust because I don't trust even the nicest of people subconsciously. It's worth checking out. I really want to be able to trust people and feel a bond. I am very friendly and smiley and have great social skills but underneath it all I I have a wall between myself and the rest of the world.

To the lady who suggested meditation to Aurora ( sorry I keep losing my post and can't quote you, I dont often write on forums)
meditation is very soothing. There are guided meditations for compex PTSD which are great to fall asleep to.
I feel very scatty with my ADD it prevents me from thinking in details. I just don't absorb them. Can't remember specific meditations but there is an Australian guy psychologist who has a very good video. Most people here seem to have photographic memories so bear with me and my ADD and my vague recommendations.

Alterity you deserve a separate post. Thank you for your feedback. Exactly that. Toxic people are hell. Yes there are animals who sense evil. I don't know if empath is the correct definition, though I know that many people who have suffered prolonged abuse develop a certain sixth sense to tune in to people's emotions as a defence mechanism. I have such a sense.

You mention "Energy" over and over.

What kind of energy is this?

What is its carrier particle?

What instruments do you use to measure it?

Don't we all have a magnetic field surrounding us? It could vary from individual to individual?

How does a dog sense danger or fear? I had a dog that barked at anyone who had cancer. She wouldn't stop barking. What was that about?

Anger is energy, how do we measure that?

Smell.
Bodies emit subtle (and less subtle) smells all the time. Emotions and illnesses change them.
Dogs are great in detecting and interpreting smells.
They also likely interpret human body language, after thousands of years together.

Makes sense.

Yes. It can be detected only through direct contact with the skin, or with sensitive instruments placed within a few millimeters of the skin. Even the most sensitive scientific instrument cannot detect the bioelectric field at more than a few centimeters.No, anger is a biochemical reaction in the brain to a perceived threat or insult. While the pattern of brain activity may change depending on one's mood, there isn't any specific "energy" associated with anger.

It's all in your head.

Some members are beyond skeptical and strident in their belief in black and white scientific fact. The Universe consists of so much more than can be what can be held in your hand. Once upon a time the theory of quantum mechanics was thought by the main stream science and mathematics communities as pure fantasy. It is now scientific fact. I grew up with siblings who were quick to belittle things that did not fit into their belief system. It was tiresome then and is tiresome today.

Nope.
It was born in pains within those communities.
Keeping very strictly to the scientific method.
It was often contrary to imagination of its own creators but mathematical formulas predicted experimental results - this is how physics works.

Your statement is both a Non Sequitur and a Red Herring, thus it is irrelevant to the discussion at hand.

When I think about it though, I have gotten some valuable help from irrational sources. Not that I think it is ever helpful to believe false or irrational things. But a more than a few times a metaphor or a meaningful story has made a huge difference in how I see things, for the better. On the other hand, I have also suffered from false beliefs on some occasions.

See what I did there? I like to play both sides of things sometimes.

For all the skeptics, has anyone taken a look at Hume's A Treatise of Human Nature? I read a bit of it for a class years ago, and now I am rereading some of it. I am finding his take on things quite remarkable. Another very interesting source on skepticism is the ancient Greek school of philosohy, Pyrrhonism. It seems to have a very interesting approach to the nature of knowing things, with implications for a way of approaching life. There's an interesting book on the topic by Kuzminski that I'd like to read.