I struggle with being "too much" for people; anyone with me?

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Normal people assume that everyone is alike. I want what she wants. If a rose is good enough for your yard, she wants it too!

It sounds like you are pretty good at fitting in with NTs; would you say so?

I'm a girl in my late 20s.
For a long time I didn't think I could possibly have ASD because I'm actually pretty obsessed with people. People are one of my special interests; I've even used the phrase "I collect people" - I "collect" their personality traits, their moral standards and convictions, the kind of relationships they form and the decisions they make within those relationships etc. I also love creating characters in my head, which are a mishmash of all the people I've "collected".
Anyway, that's just a sort of backstory so you get the idea that I do enjoy socialising (half the time; the other half I'm trying to get away from people)

I've always been perceived as intense. As a child I was super bossy and pretty oblivious of others' wants; I just wanted to make up all the rules and tell everyone what to do. Kids and teachers didn't really like me, but I couldn't care less at the time.
I'm completely different now; I'm a "chameleon" and I tailor my mask to the person in front of me, both to seem normal and to make sure they don't dislike me. But despite my ability to hide a lot of my true self, I still cannot stop being intense; being "too much."

Example: Someone I'm speaking with (NT) will make a comment about something - politics; the environment; a celebrity; whatever, and I will respond using the knowledge that I have collected on that subject and I am super passionate about exchanging knowledge. However, I often find that most people don't care about anything that much; for as long as I can remember I've been baffled by those who are not interested in learning new things about the very topics they have chosen to bring up in a conversation with me. I often get the impression that "normal" conversations should only be shallow and light and whenever you start getting passionate about something, it's like a loud fart; the atmosphere suddenly gets uncomfortable. The only people I can talk to about things in depth are my best friends and partner; all of whom are on the spectrum.

I find that people on the spectrum are passionate/obsessive to a level that NT people deem "strange" and that has been one of my biggest obstacles socially. It's actually kinda depressing. Like I said, it's the one thing I can't seem to hide and after a while I always get that look - that "this person is weird" look

Does anybody relate to this at all?
I hope I managed to convey my meaning well.

Thank you for reading.

I can be for short periods, but it comes with effort. And like most autistics, I need my alone time.

Now, a question for you. If you're female, why does your avatar look like Dwight Shrute?

I can't mask at all. Maybe I'll learn that in time. But I totally get the intensity issue, that's me. In fact a friend of mine a few months ago told me I'm so intense that it makes people want to avoid me. Sometimes that comes out in anger, although if I'm happy (I wish I felt that more often), afraid, sad or feeling something else that can be equally intense.

I was also kinda bossy at least w/some of my friends as a kid. And I get your example of wanting to share knowledge, though I do often have the bad habit of trying monopolizing a conversation sometimes w/o even knowing I'm doing it. I think I've improved, but I do have plenty of work still to do. I think overall being intense is fine w/people you're close to, at least in moderation. It becomes harder w/others and I don't know what exactly you do about that other than yeah, working on regulating your emotions.

Definitely relate. I learned the hard way that most people aren't actually interested in the content of what I'm saying, they just want to follow the cues.

. . . first of all, I love Dwight and that picture of him is pretty funny. Also Comedy is one of my biggest obsessions.
Second of all, like many AS females, my perception of my gender is "abnormal". In fact, if I had to describe most accurately how I perceive myself, it would be as a gay man (or even a man in drag) because I feel masculine on the inside but feminine on the outside (and I am attracted to men pretty much exclusively). So yeah, since I feel more like a man on the inside, I often identify with men more and my "heroes" are mostly men. I also find that like many AS females I get on better with men; I understand them better. I have to try twice as hard when socialising with women.
I hope my answer gave you some interesting insights

There are actually two types of masking. One type is social masking where you mirror the action of others. This is generally found in female Aspies and can lead to quite a bit of stress over time to maintain. They tend to mask their introversion by mirror the actions of extrovert females. They tend to lose their identity in the process. The other type of masking is the type I use. Deep down inside I am still a child. I am frozen in the childhood development phase of a 4 year old. So my type of masking is that I mask as an introvert adult male. It is easy to do and I have been doing this successfully for almost 70 years now. I do not know if this is common but I suspect that many male Aspies may relate to this. When I was growing up, I related more towards adults than children. [Kind of reminds me of the TV comedy called Young Sheldon.} It causes very little stress to mask in this manner. It is automatic. I am a bright child and can function in the adult world with my mask. And this becomes increasingly easier as my body physically aged.

OK, that answer was satisfying. My husband sometimes says he feels like he should have been a woman - and if he had been, he would be a Lesbian. I don't know quite what to make of that, so I just tell him I love him.

Comedy is pretty important to me, too. Not saying I don't like any other art form, but into every week, a little comedy damn well better fall. It gets you through some very tough times, doesn't it?

I can't remember faces, but I can remember Special Interest conversations I had three year ago! This sort of stuff can weird normal people out, but can be very useful when I use the information I remember selectively.

This is really fascinating. As far as I know I've never come across anyone who masks in the way you do. It's admirable that you are able to do that. So can I ask - what does it look like when the mask comes off? When you're in the comfort of solitude do you act like a young child or are you only a child in the way you feel? Of course only answer if you are comfortable with sharing.