Page 2 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2


Do you tell people that you have autism?
Poll ended at 28 May 2021, 12:33 am
Yes 26%  26%  [ 5 ]
No 42%  42%  [ 8 ]
Close friends only 32%  32%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 19

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

29 Mar 2021, 4:19 pm

Sweden is a place where you could probably do that. It's a relatively more enlightened society than the US.

In the US----especially within realms like retail or fast food (where many people on WP seem to work), to reveal one's autism is to leave one open to insults and to getting fired for no reason.

We have something called "at will" employment, where one could be fired for almost any reason at all if one is not a member of a union. No hearings are required, unlike what occurs in many other countries.

There are laws against discrimination in the US---but the "at will" concept can be used to offset any lawsuit for discrimination. One could be fired for, say, wearing a polo shirt instead of a dress shirt, and nobody would bat an eyelash. If they're fired explicitly for being autistic, though, then there's a problem. Hence, the employer fires you, not for your autism, but for wearing a polo shirt.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

29 Mar 2021, 8:54 pm

I am very closeted about my diagnosis and I'm happy that way. Telling people I'm on the autistic spectrum will just cause confusion and misunderstanding, and I will probably be looked at in a different light. Well, I might not be, but I'm just afraid that I might.

I think it stems back to childhood when I first got diagnosed (unlike other females on the spectrum :roll: ). It was all completely out of my control and it felt like everybody had to be told about my diagnosis. So now I am my own person, I now have the choice to tell or not to tell. And I've chosen not to tell. I talk about my Aspie problems on WP, but it only stays on WP. In the offline world, I identify myself as a neurotypical.


_________________
Female


1986
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 698
Location: Tokyo

29 Mar 2021, 10:48 pm

When I was younger I used to share it with friends, but found it contributed to no positive change, so since about 6 years ago I've just kept it to myself. My partner knows, though.

I don't generally care what others think of me -- as long as I'm not actively hated -- so either is fine.



Yakuzamonroe
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2017
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 292
Location: Edmonton

02 Apr 2021, 4:43 pm

I hide it for the most part. And I hate doing it.

It's getting harder as I get older but, if I'm looking for work, I think it's a necessity.



Dial1194
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2019
Age: 124
Gender: Male
Posts: 413
Location: Australia

02 Apr 2021, 6:03 pm

No, but not because I feel like I have to mask or hide it. I simply feel that it's not anyone else's business. I am what I am and people can either accept that or not; they don't get to have a nice neat label/pigeonhole for me that they most likely don't understand in the first place.



PhosphorusDecree
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 May 2016
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,542
Location: Yorkshire, UK

04 Apr 2021, 11:25 am

I ticked "close friends only," which is the closest but not entirely accurate. I have told my supervisors at work as well, but not any of my colleagues. In this case telling has been very useful- they now know enough to work around some of my problems.


_________________
You're so vain
I bet you think this sig is about you


PhosphorusDecree
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 May 2016
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,542
Location: Yorkshire, UK

04 Apr 2021, 11:29 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Sweden is a place where you could probably do that. It's a relatively more enlightened society than the US.

In the US----especially within realms like retail or fast food (where many people on WP seem to work), to reveal one's autism is to leave one open to insults and to getting fired for no reason.

We have something called "at will" employment, where one could be fired for almost any reason at all if one is not a member of a union. No hearings are required, unlike what occurs in many other countries.

There are laws against discrimination in the US---but the "at will" concept can be used to offset any lawsuit for discrimination. One could be fired for, say, wearing a polo shirt instead of a dress shirt, and nobody would bat an eyelash. If they're fired explicitly for being autistic, though, then there's a problem. Hence, the employer fires you, not for your autism, but for wearing a polo shirt.


And yet, no-one wants to join a union... the widespread anti-union sentiment in both our countires is a source of unending delight to bigoted employers.


_________________
You're so vain
I bet you think this sig is about you


JustFoundHere
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Jan 2018
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,152
Location: California

04 Apr 2021, 5:09 pm

I had voted 'No' in the poll. This was a tough vote; as I've had to periodically tell providers of health/medical services of the Autism Spectrum (AS) in order to clarify my health insurance coverage; that is coverage I receive on account (AS).

From the perspectives of my objectives, 'to tell or not to tell' is usually not a concern - esp. considering that I'm seeking opportunities to become acquainted with people experienced with AS/NT friendships - In short, very proactive objectives regarding (AS).

I have discussed what might very well be helpful in AS/NT friendships on WP. Yet, it's very disappointing that I have not received no feedback - What are the aversions in typing even brief responses - See latest (LINK) post (as of this writing) in 'The General Autism Discussion' Forum.

LINK: viewtopic.php?f=3&t=102721&start=2512



ArtsyFarsty
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

Joined: 17 Mar 2021
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 80

18 Apr 2021, 5:24 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I think it stems back to childhood when I first got diagnosed (unlike other females on the spectrum :roll: ). It was all completely out of my control and it felt like everybody had to be told about my diagnosis. So now I am my own person, I now have the choice to tell or not to tell.

Yes. Something I became very conscious about as my AS son got older and able to self-advocate, was recognizing that he has the right to control his “image” by deciding whether and to whom to disclose his diagnosis. Which I’m really glad I did because by 14 or 15, he started to recognize that people would treat him differently once they found out; even if it was in a benevolent sort of way, it still bothered him when they would start speaking slower or assuming he is less capable. He has chosen to only disclose it to a very small handful of people. I also had to be mindful about teaching my other children that it is his right to disclose it, not theirs, unless he gives permission.

For myself, so far only 3 people know: my husband, my AS son, and a coworker that I am close with. I’m not sure when to tell my other children, but I suppose it will come up at some point. There is really no point in telling my other family members because I am not confident that they will be supportive.



Alterity
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2019
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 633
Location: New England

20 Apr 2021, 9:16 pm

I don't just up and volunteer the information, but I don't do that about a lot of things. I will tell them if it's relevant to the conversation/topic at hand though.

I don't feel a reason to hide it, but I don't feel a reason to let anyone I talk to or deal with to be informed of it either. There has been times where I've actually used the information kind of as a weapon to silence others


_________________
"Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world."


HeroOfHyrule
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2020
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,247

20 Apr 2021, 9:23 pm

I tell people that are closer to me, but that's mainly it.