Fathers and daughters

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My sister and dad have said that when I was a baby that people would glare at them when they took me on outings together, because they thought he was some old dirty perv who got a teenager pregnant and that I was their baby, instead of a father and daughter going shopping with the baby sibling. Some people have absolutely gross, outlandish things that cross their minds.

People are just stupid sometimes.....

I wish fathers would be more involved in their children's lives.

My dad and I were super close. I was never a huggy person so I don't remember being hugged much as a kid. I used to like climbing on his back in the swimming pool so I could dive off his shoulders. When I got older it was always a big bear hug and a kiss on the lips to say hello / goodbye.

He also saw me naked on my wedding day but that's another story. lol.

Oh well, my dad see's my sister's naked body every time he visits her home since she has a naked painting of herself lying on a couch

I had a bath in their garden tub with a big window that cranked open to outside. I didn't realise he was out there.

I stood up to get out of the the bath just as he was looking up to trim some flowers.

He was pretty embarrassed and made it known he saw me, by apologising and turning ten shades of purple.

Bless his heart. I miss him so much.

It was your dad so it's probably nothing he hasn't seen before

Back to the OP, I remember when I was little I had to sleep in my parents' bed with them for some reason, just for one night. I can't remember why. My mother said that I had to sleep upside down so that my head was by their feet, or else it wasn't allowed.

After that I wasn't allowed to sleep in my parents' bed if I had a nightmare. I had to put my blanket and pillow on the hard floor beside their bed.

My dad's in his sixties. I've only had someone assume this once, at least that I know about anyway. People tend to assume that I'm dating pretty much anyone. I remember when I was at university and I was discussing grocery prices with a flatmate and a woman who was passing us remarked to me "Men, am I right?" and I'm not sure what she meant exactly. Did she think that he was my boyfriend and I was giving him grocery shopping instructions? That seems the most likely assumption. A shared exasperation of sorts? Did she assume he was disorganised? I wasn't sure what reaction she wanted exactly, so I replied "Haha yeah, totally" because that seemed a good way to end the conversation. She nodded and walked away, so I think she was happy enough with that response. I didn't know the woman. Maybe she mistook me for someone else?

These days it seems that all I need to do is hang out with someone, typically someone of my age, and I have people asking if she's my girlfriend or if he's my boyfriend. No. I just have friends and sometimes I like to hang out with my family. I find it odd when people default to assuming romance. Makes me wonder about the thought process.

I don't think I come across as flirty, but sometimes people witness conversations I have with others and they think that I'm massively crushing on that person. Occasionally they're correct, but they're usually not. It's always a little spooky when people guess correctly, was I that awkward around them? Or was it just a lucky guess?

Anyway, I'm going off-topic here. But yes, people always assuming romance, it can be quite odd at times.

I feel like he's been fairly involved in my life.

Many a time I have seen something done awkwardly, but the gesture was still appreciated nonetheless.

Smoothness or naturalness don't necessarily convey true intent

Yeah that's what I also mean't. being affectionate and expressing love is being involved with their child. Not just hanging around like he's clocking on for duty.

As the father of a 7 year old, this subject worries me. I watched my sisters and our father grow apart as they grew older and I don't want that for us, but I wonder how much control I have over it.

I'm getting my daughter assessed for ASD. She's never been 'huggy'. She's never come to me or my partner for physical comfort, indeed she has always lashed out if we try to comfort her with our hands. Physical contact between us is usually her hurting me in some way (not usually intentionally), I'm a climbing frame or a trampoline as far as she's concerned and she doesn't seem to have any concept that her elbows and knees dig into other people. I take what I can get!

Recently this has started to change a bit, and she has on occasion snuggled up to me on the sofa so I still have hope.

I'm sure I read somewhere a long time ago that there's a chemical change in pubescent girls that prevents them 'falling in love' with their fathers, something that makes their father physically repellent to them, nature's protection against incest. I can't find anything about it now so maybe it wasn't science, maybe it was some speculation about pheromones or something. I don't know, it's just what I thought about when someone said earlier about fathers withdrawing affection at puberty, which I have a hard time imagining happens - maybe it's daughters no longer wanting affection from their fathers. Who knows?

Uh no it doesn’t. My sister lived without affection from my dad. She gets it from my mum and her husband instead.

Probably because they are afraid of being seen as incestuous?

In the olden days girls would have come of age as teens and gotten married at 16. I think this is a hangover from those generations where the woman becomes the property of the new husband.

In old English a married woman was called wifeman or literally "wife of the man". After marriage the girl and father no longer see each other informally anymore.

Didn't know my dad. He died when I was a toddler. I was pretty jealous of the other kids I knew who still had their dads.