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goldfish21
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04 Sep 2021, 8:55 pm

There's a reason pubs are also called "social houses." Social rules apply. For NT's, these rules don't need to be written. It's your ASD that causes you these social difficulties in not understanding which behaviours are socially acceptable or not and why you might run the risk of a bouncer asking you to leave.


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04 Sep 2021, 9:43 pm

Autism and bars ...... very delicate situations , i like the minefield analogy .
You don't walk into a minefield on purpose . But if you do , you better have a good map.
And be on your toes. Never got over this cautiousness , myself . Whats worse is in some small towns
"the Bar" is the social focal point of the town and often can be the only place to go to to eat. In that town . Never been fond of public drunkeness . :(


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nick007
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04 Sep 2021, 9:45 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
There's a reason pubs are also called "social houses." Social rules apply. For NT's, these rules don't need to be written. It's your ASD that causes you these social difficulties in not understanding which behaviours are socially acceptable or not and why you might run the risk of a bouncer asking you to leave.
That's why some on here say that Aspies should not go to bars & James has been told to quit going many times.


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goldfish21
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04 Sep 2021, 10:12 pm

nick007 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
There's a reason pubs are also called "social houses." Social rules apply. For NT's, these rules don't need to be written. It's your ASD that causes you these social difficulties in not understanding which behaviours are socially acceptable or not and why you might run the risk of a bouncer asking you to leave.
That's why some on here say that Aspies should not go to bars & James has been told to quit going many times.


It's more difficult for him in the UK to not go to a bar than it is for me here in Canada. It's simply the culture in the UK that people spend their time in pubs. They often live in very small homes compared to North American standards, without large living/family rooms for gathering. They all go to their local regular pub and hangout there, instead, then go home to sleep and head off to work the next day. etc. So, when almost e v e r y o n e is at their regular pub in the late afternoon/evening, it's much more difficult not to join in. IMO


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05 Sep 2021, 2:07 am

nick007 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
There's a reason pubs are also called "social houses." Social rules apply. For NT's, these rules don't need to be written. It's your ASD that causes you these social difficulties in not understanding which behaviours are socially acceptable or not and why you might run the risk of a bouncer asking you to leave.
That's why some on here say that Aspies should not go to bars & James has been told to quit going many times.



well I spend more time in the pub on the weekend than a bar.

theres a difference between pubs and bars



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05 Sep 2021, 2:52 am

Jamesy wrote:
nick007 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
There's a reason pubs are also called "social houses." Social rules apply. For NT's, these rules don't need to be written. It's your ASD that causes you these social difficulties in not understanding which behaviours are socially acceptable or not and why you might run the risk of a bouncer asking you to leave.
That's why some on here say that Aspies should not go to bars & James has been told to quit going many times.



well I spend more time in the pub on the weekend than a bar.

theres a difference between pubs and bars


do pubs have bouncers? And i think they both serve alchohol? i wonder if you might need to
still be cautious ?


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05 Sep 2021, 2:58 am

Jakki wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
nick007 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
There's a reason pubs are also called "social houses." Social rules apply. For NT's, these rules don't need to be written. It's your ASD that causes you these social difficulties in not understanding which behaviours are socially acceptable or not and why you might run the risk of a bouncer asking you to leave.
That's why some on here say that Aspies should not go to bars & James has been told to quit going many times.



well I spend more time in the pub on the weekend than a bar.

theres a difference between pubs and bars


do pubs have bouncers? And i think they both serve alchohol? i wonder if you might need to
still be cautious ?



A lot of pubs dont have bouncers



ASPartOfMe
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05 Sep 2021, 11:29 am

A certain amount of staring is expected. Many bars make their profit on being a location where hookups begin or a place customers enter with an expectation of a hookup happening. Staring becomes problematic when it becomes leering.

Unwritten rules vary from bar to bar as different drinking establishments cater to a different cliental. This is the same as stores that cater to the rich people, women, sports fans etc. From what I understand of British Pubs they are roughly equivalent to a group of friends or neighbors having a few drinks in someones living room. The purpose is not to begin the hookup process so much less staring is tolerated.

It may be the OP just does not fit the demographic the establishment caters to. That does not mean somebody not of the demographic will be thrown out the first time they walk in the door. That would be stupid, a new customer is a potential profitable regular customer. It does mean that customer will be closely watched and much less behaviors tolerated than for a long time regular customer.


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05 Sep 2021, 11:38 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
A certain amount of staring is expected. Many bars make their profit on being a location where hookups begin or a place customers enter with an expectation of a hookup happening. Staring becomes problematic when it becomes leering.

Unwritten rules vary from bar to bar as different drinking establishments cater to a different cliental. This is the same as stores that cater to the rich people, women, sports fans etc. From what I understand of British Pubs they are roughly equivalent to a group of friends or neighbors having a few drinks in someones living room. The purpose is not to begin the hookup process so much less staring is tolerated.

It may be the OP just does not fit the demographic the establishment caters to. That does not mean somebody not of the demographic will be thrown out the first time they walk in the door. That would be stupid, a new customer is a potential profitable regular customer. It does mean that customer will be closely watched and much less behaviors tolerated than for a long time regular customer.




I am regular there since I been going to that pub since 2013. They often change the bouncers who are on the doors and after a few years a new manager is in charge.

On that note a lot of my friends have criticised the new manager and how he handles things at the establishment.



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05 Sep 2021, 2:04 pm

WTF?



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05 Sep 2021, 2:09 pm

where are the Moderators regarding this hacker please ?


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nick007
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05 Sep 2021, 2:44 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Unwritten rules vary from bar to bar as different drinking establishments cater to a different cliental. This is the same as stores that cater to the rich people, women, sports fans etc. From what I understand of British Pubs they are roughly equivalent to a group of friends or neighbors having a few drinks in someones living room. The purpose is not to begin the hookup process so much less staring is tolerated.
Are British pubs kinda like dive-bars :?: I never been to one but I've heard that term some.


ASPartOfMe wrote:
It may be the OP just does not fit the demographic the establishment caters to. That does not mean somebody not of the demographic will be thrown out the first time they walk in the door. That would be stupid, a new customer is a potential profitable regular customer. It does mean that customer will be closely watched and much less behaviors tolerated than for a long time regular customer.
Rule Of Acquisition #203 :arrow: "New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back"


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ASPartOfMe
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05 Sep 2021, 7:34 pm

Jamesy wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
A certain amount of staring is expected. Many bars make their profit on being a location where hookups begin or a place customers enter with an expectation of a hookup happening. Staring becomes problematic when it becomes leering.

Unwritten rules vary from bar to bar as different drinking establishments cater to a different cliental. This is the same as stores that cater to the rich people, women, sports fans etc. From what I understand of British Pubs they are roughly equivalent to a group of friends or neighbors having a few drinks in someones living room. The purpose is not to begin the hookup process so much less staring is tolerated.

It may be the OP just does not fit the demographic the establishment caters to. That does not mean somebody not of the demographic will be thrown out the first time they walk in the door. That would be stupid, a new customer is a potential profitable regular customer. It does mean that customer will be closely watched and much less behaviors tolerated than for a long time regular customer.




I am regular there since I been going to that pub since 2013. They often change the bouncers who are on the doors and after a few years a new manager is in charge.

On that note a lot of my friends have criticised the new manager and how he handles things at the establishment.

Has the ownership changed?


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05 Sep 2021, 7:47 pm

I agree with the ones(s) saying that the people complaining were making the bars make more money, so they stick to these guys and you paid for it. People are very money-oriented and it’s common for neurotypicals to get together to trash someone and their influence making you the expandable one. There are always “annoying” people in bars, so unless things got out of whack, you simple met with the wrong people. Bar people’s are no angels. Could’ve been just for them to laugh about, you know, the guy we kicked out, for these drunks to brag about their power of influence. Usually, people on the spectrum have little power of influence, which makes us feel like it’s “me against the world”.