Why did you have babies?

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Joined: 15 Oct 2021
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27 Oct 2021, 1:53 am

Caz72 wrote:

because i was so knocked out from cocaine and other drugs for 2 or 3 weeks that i was too unconscious to keep taking the contraceptive pill and i dont know how many men had sex with me during that time but one of them got me pregnant
my baby boy is 16 now

otherwise i wasnt planning on having any children

Aww that’s horrible

why didn’t you get an abortion?

Itendswithmexx
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27 Oct 2021, 1:53 am

kraftiekortie wrote:

^I'm glad you're a good mother, and love your boy.

There are many times when I wish I was a dad.

Well you can have kids at 120.

Itendswithmexx
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27 Oct 2021, 1:56 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:

I haven't had kids and most likely wont for various reasons I outlined in another thread, but I would actually like to have them and would prefer to be able to have healthy children. I like taking care of kids and I also enjoy watching them develop and grow. I would like to have my genetics tested before I potentially had any children so I could know what they're at risk for + if it's worth risking certain disorders/issues (my ASD isn't that severe, but I have other problems that may or may not be genetic and would, IMO, be mean to inflict upon a child).

Yah me too. Guess it’s similar to dyslexia you don’t have much choice over whether or not it’s high functioning or low functioning. Probs same amount of control that you have over gender? What ever happened to designer babies? I remember in the only biology class I attended that they were trying to do that back in 2010.

Itendswithmexx
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27 Oct 2021, 1:58 am

1986 wrote:

My younger brother was born when I was 11, and due to various difficulties in our family I ended up putting in a lot of time to raise him. I enjoyed it, he's in uni studying to become a lawyer now, so when I got married I kind of felt like I had already went through the "trial period" and thus saw no big problems about raising a child. I didn't get any genetic testing as I know what I have and I'm prepared to help my child if she has similar problems growing up. I don't think me having certain psychiatric diagnoses is a valid argument for not having children. If I think that way, my parents might as well thought like that about me and never had me, but I'm glad they did.

We had quite a long journey to having our daughter, though, so it took a lot of stamina to become a father.

Yah it’s like sex, if you want to and if it’s with the right person then it’s not a chore. Yah psychotic stuff is fixable and not permanent so to not have kids for that would be stupid.

Caz72
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27 Oct 2021, 5:56 am

Itendswithmexx wrote:

Caz72 wrote:

Aww that’s horrible

why didn’t you get an abortion?

because as soon as I realised i was pregnant my hormones changed and i naturally wanted to protect my baby
also just out of luck my dad found out about my lifestyle and he basically came and rescued me and took me to live with him . it was brilliant timing really otherwise i might have still drank or take drugs

i did drink before i knew i was pregnant but my boy came out fine and is neurotypical

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Ettina
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27 Oct 2021, 6:17 am

Why did I get pregnant? Because I really, really want to be a mom. I've loved babies ever since my 8-years-younger brother was born, and the older I got, the more clear it became to me that I want to raise a child of my own.

I did get genetically tested, but that had nothing to do with my plans to have a child - I was genetically tested for my own curiosity. I'm not a carrier of anything particularly scary, according to the test. The only recessive condition they found in my DNA is hemochromatosis, which isn't really that bad if it's diagnosed and treated appropriately, so I decided it wasn't worth worrying about when picking a sperm donor.

The main reason I got tested was wondering why I'm autistic, and it turns out I've got a ton of SNPs that have been suggested to be linked to autism, so I've got my answer - I have polygenetic autism. Not a huge surprise, since my Dad is autistic and most multiplex autism families likely have polygenetic autism, but it's nice to know. And once I started trying to conceive, I found it reassuring to know, because I would love to have an autistic child and I have a pretty decent chance of that with my genetics.

Itendswithmexx
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27 Oct 2021, 6:25 am

Ettina wrote:

Would you love to have a low functioning autistic child ?

Itendswithmexx
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27 Oct 2021, 6:26 am

Caz72 wrote:

Itendswithmexx wrote:

Caz72 wrote:

Aww that’s horrible

why didn’t you get an abortion?

Did you have his iq tested? Drinking doesn’t cause Autism. Drinking causes other neurological problems and learning disabilities.

Ettina
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27 Oct 2021, 8:59 am

Itendswithmexx wrote:

Ettina wrote:

Would you love to have a low functioning autistic child ?

I don't really think functioning labels are the best way to categorize autistic people.

I do admit that my ideal child would be smart and verbal, but I'm fine with one who is missing one or both of those characteristics. I don't see "low functioning autism" as some sort of horrible tragedy to be avoided, it's just more challenging and they need more support than most people. I've worked with autistic kids who couldn't speak and who may have had cognitive delays (though it can be hard to assess the latter accurately) and would be glad to have a child like that as my own.

I also think that if you're not ready and willing to deal with any sort of special needs that may arise in a child, you shouldn't have children. There are no guarantees in life - even a normal child could get meningitis or be in a car accident and end up needing far more help than any "low functioning autistic" person. (Autism requires a certain level of capability in order to assess, so there's actually a minimum functioning level for autistic people, and I've met people with other disabilities who function below that level.)

I also know that disability is by and large irrelevant to quality of life.

Caz72
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27 Oct 2021, 12:01 pm

Itendswithmexx wrote:

Caz72 wrote:

Itendswithmexx wrote:

Caz72 wrote:

Aww that’s horrible

why didn’t you get an abortion?

Did you have his iq tested? Drinking doesn’t cause Autism. Drinking causes other neurological problems and learning disabilities.

thats what i meant by neurotypical -- no specific learning disability or any other neurological problems

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babybird
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27 Oct 2021, 12:13 pm

Itendswithmexx wrote:

Did you get your genetics tested?

No I didn't. I don't even know what that means.

Babies are cool. They're like little versions of yourself and then they grow and grow and grow and they become really cool grown up people.

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IsabellaLinton
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27 Oct 2021, 12:15 pm

My husband made me write an essay to say why I should have children.

I guess I passed his exam.

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kraftiekortie
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27 Oct 2021, 12:27 pm

How Condescending!

babybird
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27 Oct 2021, 12:36 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

My husband made me write an essay to say why I should have children.

I guess I passed his exam.

Ha....he sounds like a riot.

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kraftiekortie
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27 Oct 2021, 12:38 pm

Nope....can't father a child now. Can only adopt. Because of prostate cancer.

IsabellaLinton
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27 Oct 2021, 1:03 pm

babybird wrote:

IsabellaLinton wrote:

My husband made me write an essay to say why I should have children.

I guess I passed his exam.

Ha....he sounds like a riot.

Yup. Good times. Six months after she was born premature he announced he was gay and left us.

He's been in violation of child support and psychiatric care orders since 1997.

The funniest thing was when he sued our daughter in court in 2019, then disowned her entirely.

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