09 Jul 2024, 4:48 am
10 Jul 2024, 5:52 pm
AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,146
Location: Portland, Oregon
12 Nov 2024, 7:50 pm
01 Dec 2024, 5:12 pm
02 Dec 2024, 9:36 am
Mona Pereth wrote:
Watching that video was culture shock for me.
She said that when she was in 5th grade, everyone in her class was having "crushes" on other classmates???! !
When I was growing up, kids didn't start having "crushes" until high school. And, even then, it was far from inevitable.
Furthermore, in my parents' religious subculture, crushes and "falling in love" were not seen as desirable ways to begin a relationship. Instead, it was thought that a teenager or young adult should have lots of opposite-sex platonic friendships, one of which would eventually evolve into love and marriage.
Although I gave up Christianity at the age of 15, at around which time I also came out as bisexual, I nevertheless retained some aspects of my parents' outlook. In particular, I continued to reject the whole idea of "falling in love," as distinct from a love that grows gradually.
She said that when she was in 5th grade, everyone in her class was having "crushes" on other classmates???! !
When I was growing up, kids didn't start having "crushes" until high school. And, even then, it was far from inevitable.
Furthermore, in my parents' religious subculture, crushes and "falling in love" were not seen as desirable ways to begin a relationship. Instead, it was thought that a teenager or young adult should have lots of opposite-sex platonic friendships, one of which would eventually evolve into love and marriage.
Although I gave up Christianity at the age of 15, at around which time I also came out as bisexual, I nevertheless retained some aspects of my parents' outlook. In particular, I continued to reject the whole idea of "falling in love," as distinct from a love that grows gradually.
I'm very sure it is culturally relative, varying from school to school and which community and culture it usually falls under.
I'm already aware over the concept of crushes since 1st grade. And I'm aroace.
How I'd know?
It's a matter of exposure and socialization.
I've known even 'high support needs' NDs who get crushes just as early.
Because kids around me are very open within their peers over that kind of thing.
At least in my time back then, highly likely heteromantic, with many parents expressively gushing around heteromantic puppy love.
Only difference between me and the person on the vid is that I wasn't persuaded over the hype of heteromantic love; sexual or romantic or both.
Thus I never spent a single moment thinking I'm 'broken' for being very apathetic over crushes and attraction by not doing what other girls do when I'm already not doing a lot of things that other kids do, when never I ever tie a lot of my self esteem with social inclusion and relatedness...
But most people do that.
Thus they need that inclusive community in LGBTQ+. I usually put the human element above the 'person' and 'label'.
While this is mostly the matter of labels and categorization over identifications; from what I've known, asexuality is overall overlooked and not often discussed.
I don't pay a lot of attention related to advocacy of one's sexuality and gender identities because it's something of a no-brainer to me for putting human above the person and label.
I likely don't other need the community than clarification of what I'm trying to comprehend, moments of curiousity or basically asking for a friend...
Or collecting terms just for the sake of knowing what it means because words are not my friends.
Fighting human ignorance is same old same old that will likely solve itself with time in this particular case.
Fighting certain rights is a huge 'oh come on'
from me.Fighting dehumanization is another game; a war that I'm currently not present at.
