Did you have theories about what was "wrong" with you

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I knew something was "wrong" but never bothered to try to put a label on it. When I was in ninth grade, I had an epiphany: There was nothing wrong with ME; everyone ELSE had the problem. I decided that I was intellectually and mentally superior, and that's why I couldn't fit in or make friends. Or, I sometimes thought that maybe I wasn't so intellectually advanced, but that everyone ELSE was just a stupid bonehead and mental weakling. I had held firmly to this belief for decades. Then I realized late in life that this was all because I was certainly autistic. I then got my diagnosis. HOWEVER, I STILL THINK EVERYONE ELSE HAS THE PROBLEM!! ! It's just that autistics are in a small minority. Like that saying goes, "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

Now there's something brand new wrong with me.
I guess I didn't have enough faults already.

I always knew I was a little odd, but nothing too conspicuous, and I was always apart. I had to cling to someone, whether my sister (who I still cling to and rely on completely), or a best friend if I had one at a given time, and later a boyfriend. And now my sister again.

But no I didn't have a theory per se.

I was aware that I wasn't like other people from around the age of 4, when I went to kindergarten. But I had no idea why. After I started reading, I was very influenced by Greek myths about children of gods living among humans, science fiction stories about aliens passing for human, etc. But, of course, I didn't literally believe this was me. There was no diagnosis then, and it was very confusing.

As a teenager and young adult, it started to get depressing. I had a very high IQ, clear talent in some areas, but I couldn't seem to hold even the most basic jobs for long. Nor could I keep a romantic relationship going. I just felt somehow wrong, broken.

I eventually discovered how to apply my talents and developed some social skills, but I was 10-15 years behind most people in these areas, and in life progress. I finally got a diagnosis at the age of 52.

If there had been a diagnosis when I was young, or if I had grown up in a place that offered more clear options in life, I think I wouldn't have lost so much time.

I had thought all my social problems were caused by being too smart.

I could read in daycare and preschool from around 2 years old (my mother taught me) and the staff paid a lot of attention to me, having conversations with me, and giving me harder and harder puzzles and finding books for me. I never played with any of the other kids.

In early primary school I was apparently an absolute devil, screaming, breaking other kids stuff, etc. I believed it was because I was bored (from already knowing what they were teaching) and because I didn't learn any social skills while I was in daycare and preschool as I never played with any kids. Then later in school I couldn't talk to any other kids - as I continued each year to never learn any social skills.

Had something of a crisis of identity at university though when I failed so much, and everyone else seemed to be fine, including plenty of people less smart than me. What was wrong with me? Was I stupid after all? I also got together with my partner who is much smarter than me. He had no social problems at school and was a part of multiple different social groups. So there was no reason that should have stopped me being able to play with other kids or talk to them or make friends. I was very confused about myself for quite a few years.

Many years later I found out about ADHD and realised that explained uni. Then a few years later when I finally got around to getting myself diagnosed the psychologist picked up ASD as well. Those two diagnoses explained everything.