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Is anyone envious of other families/parents/relationships?

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Edna3362
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07 Nov 2024, 7:21 am

Edna3362 wrote:
So far, never.

I have a loving family, though it has issues with their own as do most families.

.. I'm very aware of my own source of unhappiness is mostly coming from me; the rest is just grieving, unprocessed emotions or grudges, or the usual frustrations that any autistics generally feel towards NTs.


I only envy individuals who received certain outcomes -- the relationship, connection or the bond itself, though, that's just one of the means to attain whatever desirable outcome.



I envy people who never had to fix themselves; they generally have balanced childhood, having to be raised by people who are competent enough in parenting.
I don't envy their relationship with their caretakers, I envy that they never had to or deal way less time and energy with internalized shite, didn't had to figure stuff out; ranging from bad habits to trauma induced distortions.

I envy people who can simply choose to learn the lessons regardless of their "tragic stories" (abuse, etc.) and "choose to rise above it".
Suffering or not, they have control and they have choices. That's simply it.
There is an element of having the ability to emotionally shift into whenever they would've -- or better yet, filter or bypass it and do what it had to be done.

Both have similar outcomes; passing a specific yet vague selection that is what I deem as an ideal outcome.

Clarification;

I envy people who, regardless whether they have a wonderful relationship with their family of not -- they can do more than just survive, but rise above it.

I envy people who never had to pay a price over someone else's screw up.
I envy people who never need to spend their 20s undoing childhood crap.

I envy people who never have to be strong, but can be as a choice.

I envy people who just can thrive, and never have to wonder why they're stuck or lagging because of some subconscious crap they're barely aware of.

Doesn't matter what their starting points are; their environment growing, the hands they've dealt with, or what their circumstances are.
What matters is that they're not stuck in a damn loop, they're in this exponential trajectory of growth instead.

They just look at a possibility, and just work towards that.

What do they have that others don't?
Other than figuring out what works for them in a long run, whatever it is?


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ToughDiamond
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07 Nov 2024, 10:01 am

Fnord wrote:
Why couldn't they be as funny as Rob and Laura Petrie?

That's triggered a memory. As a fairly young child I was watching an episode of that in which they were hoping to get through the whole week without having a row. I smugly felt that my parents had one up on them because I'd never heard my parents have a row before. A few days later I witnessed the first one. It was terrible to behold and ended up in Dad preparing to leave, saying he'd never return. He relented at the last minute but the whole thing was quite a shock. They told me years later that they'd been having bad vibes for years but had kept it from me until I was old enough to handle it. I don't believe it. I think they kept it from me as long as they could, and then one day it overpowered them.