PhosphorusDecree wrote:
For me, physical bullying tailed off after word got around that if you pushed me too hard, I'd make a spirited attempt to bite your throat out.
In the moment quite often I'd just try to retreat in good order, so to speak; I'm not getting pulled into a 3 on 1 or 4 or 1 fight. Especially when I knew eventually I'd find at least one or two of them without their friends around and then it'd be on-sight. I figured if it's fair to jump me, it's fair for me to jump the people who did it, when it suited me (and not them).
I'd often disassociate in the moment (when I was the one being jumped); from over-stimulation, stress and fear of going apeshit. Occasionally I'd shutdown, but if I melted down into red mist instead things turned ugly. Not tough-guy action movie ugly, but biting, ripping, tearing, swinging or throwing whatever was handy and basically mauling like an enraged ape. Unfortunately, those sorts of displays lead to more bullying, not less.
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I was ashamed of myself when I realised life was a costume party and I attended with my real face
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell