Why Autistic Life Can Be Terrifying

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I would have loved to join the conversation about this video, but I have too much life experience to put myself through that. So I'll just say: thanks for posting the video.

Hugs.

For me it was fear of sunshine, sunburn, certain smells including cooking smells, perfumes, flowers, textures, etc. I was scared of travel because I was scared of hotels or other people's houses having bad sensory elements.

Then of course there was the "I'm a freak" feeling that plagued many of us.

This was all before my actual traumas started with childhood SA, bullying, rejection by my mother, etc.
As an adult I was terrified at work because I was bullied for my honesty.
I was sexually harassed by my boss.
People made fun of my peculiar ways.
Then all the court stuff with my exh, being judged by courts to keep my own kids.
They tried to use my autism against me even though it wasn't named at that point.
Then my adult SA trauma, manipulation, etc.
It's just been non-stop and it's still happening now.
I still feel shamed for certain things I've done to stand up for myself and others.

I relate to the deer in the headlights analogy. I was always fearful of other people. I always had my guard up. I haven't really trusted people of the opposite sex for 30 years because I was hurt very badly by someone who was in my college program. I only disclosed my autism at work one time when I was working at a factory. People kept asking me what was new and if I ever had sex or did drugs. My coworkers started treating me like I couldn't think for myself or form my own opinions. It's a good thing I didn't tell them what my opinions were. They would have been scared of me.

I hope the video helped you to feel validated, even if you aren't in a position to share.

Big hugs.

I'm sorry all of that happened to you CR.
I feel the same way about sharing opinions with people.
I don't think like most women are expected to think.
I confound people.
It's always easier to keep my mouth shut than speak up.
If it involves other people being hurt though, I can't stop.

^^^there are not enough of you on this planet.

Thank you Isabella, I was very impressed by the video presentation.