How to Prepare for Motherhood?

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From the way she's talking it sounds as if she's either really anxious about getting pregnant or she really wants to be pregnant

Not my business, but she might want to reprioritize.

Once I go to my physical next month and they order lab work (blood test) from there I should be able to determine if I am truly pregnant or not!

At any rate other than the weird changes happening to my body lately like the varicose veins, possible implantation bleeding and now sudden weight gain...I also bought myself a maternity outfit because I feel that I might really have a "bun in the oven"! !!

I know I haven't went to the OBGYN yet but that is because I assumed I was not pregnant based on the results of the 3 Clearblue pregnancy tests I took a few months ago

Now I'm beginning to think that result is 100% FALSE

Or I took the test too early
(when there wasn't enough hcG for it to pick up)

Also, my worker Cathy would most likely flip her lid if I turns out I have a baby growing in my stomach so that is another reason I have been stalling with all of this!

It's not too late though so I will be buying some pre-natal vitamins on Amazon soon

Woah, hold up...do you want to have children? Like I unless you also want them to you should not proceed. So have you actually thought about if you want children and what all the childcare could entail. LIke having a child is a lot, so you should not do it unless you also really want to.

But also, yeah pregnancy is dangerous, you are kinda risking your health and potentially life...so you should not do it unless you really want it. Also though depending on where you live...idk can you access care if the pregnancy goes wrong? Or will it be more difficult to do that. Idk no one here can tell you what to do, but idk from what I understand you just started seeing this person so even if you do want kids seems they are pushing it a little too early idk.

It's not so much that bringing more children into this dumpster fire of a world will end up ruining your own life as it will end up ruining theirs.

What if your kids turn out to be lgbt+? Something they can't help being but will make the world automatically hate them. Want them dead, even. Or they could be autistic, which will surely result in them getting bullied in school until they decide they don't want to live anymore. Or if you live in the US, shoot the school up. And then there's the nukes and deadly disease and the climate crisis.

But I suppose you know best. After all, I'm just a childless crazy cat lady. But without the cats. I'm not sure I even want to raise another cat the way the world is.

Well idk seems like I will live to see a bit of a dumpster fire, and well I am not mad because I do want to live but seems I perhaps got dealt a sh***y hand of time period and growing up and now once my life personally is getting in some ways better the country is falling apart I'll be 40 by the next election...wow...but I guess my boyfriend will be 45 but yeah we don't want to bring any children into any of that, but also even if economics were way better and all that we still would not want them.

See that is the issue

I cannot decide if I TRULY want children or not!! !

I know that pregnancy can be dangerous and life-threatening

Why do you think I have abstained from penetrative sex for so long?

Giving David the children he has been wanting would make him SO happy that if I don't give him kids I feel like I would be letting him down!

However, I would rather adopt or use a surrogate instead of birthing my own child because of my fear of childbirth and not wanting to mess up my body beyond repair

If I AM truly pregnant, aborting the baby wouldn't be the answer or solution!

Choosing to not birth my own child means that I would miss out on getting to wear maternity outfits and I would not get to experience the actual birthing process so I wouldn't have the sense of accomplishment of successfully birthing a baby like other women

Does that make sense?

Having a child is a huge responsibility and a huge task. Do you genuinely believe that you are ready for that? Based on your posts, which I admit is not a very good or complete way to know you, it doesn't seem that you are ready.

well if you are going to try to have the baby....than for afterwards you should try to get a nursery set up, where you can put your baby to sleep in a crib but I imagine the first few weeks baby will scream and not go to bed easily. But like if you want a child you will have to find a way to deal with the screaming and such without hurting the baby. Not trying to deter you but you have to realize if you go through with it, it will mean you get a whole baby human who cannot fend for itself so you have to fend for them cause they are helpless till they start developing more, and like are you ok with having to do that?


So idk if you aren't ready for that, it is not wrong to consider abortion but if thats not something you're comfortable with than yeah probably better to prepare for the baby.

If you are pregnant, you already have a child, regardless of whether you want one or not. Although, from other posts of yours, I'm inclined to say that you aren't really against the idea. Being a bit uncertain about motherhood is a fairly normal feeling, as I understand it. I wouldn't worry too much about it at this point. If you're pregnant, then you are a mother, you have a job to do.



Most women are perfectly capable of growing and birthing a baby; we've been doing it for millennia. Prenatal care and medical technology have only gotten better, further reducing maternal mortality risk, overall.



Educate yourself on childbirth. Most human fears come from a lack of understanding.

If you are not pregnant, then I would encourage adoption to grow your family, if you do not wish to pursue pregnancy. For many reasons, I cannot recommend surrogacy at all.





Oh, and I wanted to mention, that you really don't need a lot of "stuff" for an infant. If you decide to deliver in a hospital or freestanding birth center, you'll need a baby seat for your car. Otherwise, diapers, wipes, some clothing, infant tylenol/ibuprofen for emergency fevers, an aspirator/snot sucker for stuffy noses, and really, that's pretty much it. If you choose to bottle feed, you'll need some extra supplies, but if you nurse, even pacifiers/dummies aren't a necessity.

Cribs are optional. Parents have shared sleep with infants since the dawn of time. As long as both parents agree to do it *and* you do it safely (no fluffy bedding, no alcohol consumption, no drugs/drowsy medications, no smoking, no overweight parents, etc.), you'll be fine. But you'll have to research it and learn how to do it. It is not unheard of for mothers, who choose to exclusively breastfeed and safely share sleep with their babies, to get a bit more sleep.

It's tough in the first few months. But like everything, phases pass and you're on to the next thing. While you're going through it, it seems like the days take forever. But then the years fly by in an instant.

Please keep us updated.

What's the issue with utilizing surrogacy?

If I am truly pregnant I will just have to go through the rest of the pregnancy and birth, even if I am scared!! !

I have been educating myself about the childbirth process and I think I would be okay if I get an epidural!

Sure, I will keep everyone on WP updated!

If you think you are pregnant and have been for a while (took pregnancy tests months ago), do not wait another month.



It's not likely that you would have sudden weight gain in the first few months, or varicose veins. PCOS might be more likely. You need to see a doctor ASAP.



Those over the counter pee tests pick up enough of the hormone within a few days. You didn't test too early. Three different tests didn't pick it up? If they were all from the same box, they could be so old they didn't work, but that's not the most likely explanation.



Who cares about Cathy? Seriously, this is a troubling statement. Why would a co-worker matter with regard to this?

Also, the fetus grows in your uterus, not in your stomach.



Not a bad impulse, but which vitamins? You need to have a real medical appointment and find out what you need to take and do to promote a healthy pregnancy, if in fact you are pregnant. Also, those vitamins (especially folic acid) needed to start months before getting pregnant, so if you find yourself pregnant in future, remember that. It's important to plan ahead.

This does not sound mature enough to take care of anyone else. That's OK, but it's not OK if you do take on the responsibility of a baby anyway. You need to take care of yourself first.



If he is desperate to have children in the immediate future, than he's not the right person for you, and you're not the right person for him.



Seriously? You're trolling us, right? This is not the basis for bringing a child into the world.



No. It sounds like you need to learn a lot more about yourself, and your body, and adult life, and child care before you ever consider having a child in any way, whether biologically or otherwise.

A few excerpts from the "Surrogacy" tab on this website:

https://thembeforeus.com/fast-facts/