Women aren't attracted to autistic men

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TwilightPrincess
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17 Apr 2025, 10:41 am

Having more children doesn’t necessarily mean women are less affected.

Going that route (i.e. women have it easier) is against the rules anyway.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 17 Apr 2025, 11:19 am, edited 2 times in total.

Nades
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17 Apr 2025, 11:03 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:

Having more children doesn’t necessarily mean women are less affected.

Going that route (i.e. women have it easier) is against the rules anyway.


Not this again. I posted evidence. Of the two sources posted so far, neither have said women have it easy. The sources make that abundantly clear.

Nobody is saying women have it easy (other than one member it seems) It'll be better if you debate the sources and what they mean rather than debate members who simply post them. I also said both autistic men and women have significantly fewer kids.

If you wont debate the sources, then I won't engage with you. It's tiring going through this for the 50th time where simply citing sources immediately triggers people. Seriously, how old are we? old enough to handle research papers I'm sure



TwilightPrincess
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17 Apr 2025, 11:19 am

I was disagreeing with the conclusion you came to based on the cited research as well as some other statements made in this thread which I won’t cite. (Hint: the title itself is a generalization.)

Nades wrote:
Where autistic men and women, with men seemingly more effected across several disorders have significantly fewer kids.
Yes, “not this again.” I couldn’t agree more.


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Nades
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17 Apr 2025, 11:22 am

That wasn't my conclusion, it's the conclusion of the researchers which they clearly stated. Paraphrasing research isn't a personal opinion.

Argue with the research, not me. Its quite clear you've read none of the source I provided.



Last edited by Nades on 17 Apr 2025, 11:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

TwilightPrincess
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17 Apr 2025, 11:36 am

Nades wrote:
Argue with the research, not me.
I was within the framework of this thread. However, I want to make it clear that I don’t think that all topics are right for this forum. Sometimes we also need to be careful about misapplying research. The particular study you chose, for instance, wasn’t a particularly good one. It was limited demographically, limited to Sweden, and not just about autistics.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 17 Apr 2025, 11:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

Nades
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17 Apr 2025, 11:40 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
Argue with the research, not me.
I was within the framework of this thread. However, I want to make it clear that I don’t think that all topics are right for this forum. Sometimes we also need to be careful about misapplying research. The particular study you chose, for instance, wasn’t a particularly good one. It was old, limited to Sweden, not just about autistics, and was mostly focused on siblings.


Research is research, it's the best we have so far. It's old and geographically limited, but it's still pretty decent(ish) and seems to correlate to what autistics experience.

What I was stating was relating to that particular study, nothing more, nothing less.

What the study implies is interesting in that similar issues seem to be experienced by schizophrenics



TwilightPrincess
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17 Apr 2025, 11:57 am

There is some questionable research out there, and science being used to further sexism, racism, homophobia, and transphobia is not exactly an unheard of phenomenon.

When a thread’s (blog’s, article’s, website’s) title contains a generalization, the purpose of research contained therein seems to be to support it. I’m not saying that’s necessarily the goal of the researchers of any individual study that is cited. That’s just so often how this sort of stuff works. And, of course, nuance typically goes ignored.


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Nades
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17 Apr 2025, 12:06 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
There is some questionable research out there, and science being used to further sexism, racism, homophobia, and transphobia is not exactly an unheard of phenomenon.

When a thread’s (blog’s, article’s, website’s) title contains a generalization, the purpose of research contained therein seems to be to support it. I’m not saying that’s necessarily the goal of the researchers of any individual study that is cited. That’s just so often how this sort of stuff works. And, of course, nuance typically goes ignored.



The sources are intended to tone down the generalisation of this thread with research the OP can look at.

There isn't anything to suggest the research is heavily influenced by bigotry. That's largely baseless speculation without a counter source showing it to be inaccurate.



TwilightPrincess
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17 Apr 2025, 12:17 pm

Nades wrote:
There isn't anything to suggest the research is heavily influenced by bigotry. That's largely baseless speculation without a counter source showing it to be inaccurate.
I wasn’t meaning to suggest that it was…at all. My overall point is that when people cite research like this to prove that women are less affected because they have more children they are completely disregarding nuance because data cannot give us a clear picture, especially not with the flawed research you provided.


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Nightwing82
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17 Apr 2025, 12:23 pm

I apologize. I did not intend to state that anything is easier for women, but rather that men and women seem to generally be affected in different ways. None of the autistic women I've met have been unable to attract suites. The relevant point I'm trying to make is that there is not an equal number of chronically single autistic women for all the chronically single autistic men.

It's just a reality that the standards for attractiveness for men and women are different. our society places a greater expectation on men to be extroverted and socially confident. If a woman is shy or awkward, men don't care. There's also a greater pressure on men to be financially successful. Women rate men on our financial success and resources, while men do not care about the financial status of women. And do I need to remind any of you that autistic adults are the demographic with the bleakest employment opportunities and outcomes?



Last edited by Nightwing82 on 17 Apr 2025, 12:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nades
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17 Apr 2025, 12:26 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
There isn't anything to suggest the research is heavily influenced by bigotry. That's largely baseless speculation without a counter source showing it to be inaccurate.
I wasn’t meaning to suggest that it was…at all. My overall point is that when people cite research like this to prove that women are less affected because they have more children they are completely disregarding nuance because data cannot give us a clear picture, especially not with the flawed research you provided.


Then provide your own sources and stop insinuating research is my personal opinion.



Last edited by Nades on 17 Apr 2025, 12:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Apr 2025, 12:28 pm

Nightwing82 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
Approximately 5% of autistic adults are married, significantly lower than the general population. 9% of autistic adults in their 20s are married, compared to 28% of neurotypical adults. 18% of autistic adults in their 30s are married, while 65% of neurotypical adults are married.



https://crowncounseling.com/statistics/ ... %20married.


I'd like to see the gender divide in those statistics. How much are willing to bet that those 9% who are married are predominantly women. And even the men who are married are probably over 6" and have lucrative stem careers.



Actually in the link I posted they do provide a gender divide, those two are very telling:

31% of autistic adults without intellectual disabilities are married, compared to only 1% of those with intellectual disabilities.

Autistic women are more likely to marry than autistic men, with 16% of autistic women married compared to 11% of autistic men

So the first 5% mentioned earlier includes the autistics with intellectual disability - let’s admit it, there’s a world difference between mild autism and sever autism.

16% for women also is still much lower than general population; not much better really than men.



TwilightPrincess
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17 Apr 2025, 12:32 pm

Pointing out problems with research, puts me under no obligation to cite any of my own. With that being said, I’ve cited data on the rates of sexual victimization before. I won’t do so here although I think they could be at least somewhat applicable. Some autistic women conceive children with their abusers.


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Nades
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17 Apr 2025, 12:38 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Pointing out problems with research, puts me under no obligation to cite any of my own. With that being said, I’ve cited data on the rates of sexual victimization before. I won’t do so here although I think they could be at least somewhat applicable. Some autistic women conceive children with their abusers.


You keep derailing the thread. You also need to separate the personal opinions of posters from the research they're paraphrasing. It honestly childish and happens constantly here. It's against the rules too once you've been told by the poster to stop making that insinuation.



Nightwing82
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17 Apr 2025, 12:45 pm

BTDT wrote:
A very useful relationship skill is learning to listen to a partner.
Obviously you can't do that if you are constantly talking about your special interest.


What I meant was that's what being confident looks like, not that that's all I can talk about.

I struggle with staying focused in long conversations because of ADHD. Which is not something I can change. Basically, we've just circled back around to my disability makes unattractive.



TwilightPrincess
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17 Apr 2025, 12:45 pm

Nades wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Pointing out problems with research, puts me under no obligation to cite any of my own. With that being said, I’ve cited data on the rates of sexual victimization before. I won’t do so here although I think they could be at least somewhat applicable. Some autistic women conceive children with their abusers.


You keep derailing the thread. You also need to separate the personal opinions of posters from the research they're paraphrasing. It honestly childish and happens constantly here. It's against the rules too once you've been told by the poster to stop making that insinuation.

I was responding to this statement.
Nades wrote:
Then provide your own sources and stop insinuating research is my personal opinion.

Aside from that, if you have concerns about my behavior, I suggest talking to a mod about it rather than approach personal attack territory. Thanks.


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