15 Sep 2007, 11:46 pm
15 Sep 2007, 11:48 pm
GoatOnFire
Veteran
Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,986
Location: Den of the ecdysiasts
15 Sep 2007, 11:59 pm
*********************************************************
You should publicly contemplate suicide every quarter hour!
this time i think im really going to do it. it is totally different from last time at 2:47pm.
i only have a green rubber band, three cellophane hostess cupcake wrappers, a broken tambourine, and a digital tire gauge but this life is just getting me too down and not even my 217 lj-friends and a military chopper can stop me.
dont call the police, okay. not like theyd care anyhow.
if i only had a playmate girlfriend, a new ferrari, and a big garbage bag filled with a million unmarked dollars, this all would have been averted.
~i tried so hard
and got so far
but in the end
it doesnt even matter....~ *****************************************************************************
What the F? I don't think I've ever announced contemplating suicide on the internet. Are those emo lyrics at the end? Or is this test just telling me what I should do to get attention that I'm not doing yet?
Hmmm. Let's give it a try. I want to die, 
I hate my life. This time I'm really gonna do it. I'm gonna kill myself, no one can stop me.
Or would that be more effective if I didn't write that in pink? 
Icarus_Falling
everyman antihero
Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,215
Location: beyond human comprehension
16 Sep 2007, 2:03 am
16 Sep 2007, 2:18 am
16 Sep 2007, 3:00 am
16 Sep 2007, 4:30 am
You should proclaim your undying love for George W. Bush!
I've been arguing against the War for some time now, but--friends!--I've come to the harrowing conclusion that a vegan/anti-war activist lifestyle is no longer something I can be a part of and still look myself in the mirror-imaged face each promising morning. Protesting in the pouring rain is an emblem of a past era. You can snail mail me if you'd like to keep one of my hemp outfits and I will dutifully mail it out to you with a heart full of wondering love. Likewise for my bone incense holders and anti-WTO banners. Perhaps they can be put to a better use in fanning the flames of a funeral pyre, as flames lick along Saddams evil beard.My heart is full of love, friends. I've chosen love, fallen in love, and met my destiny in the eyes of our wonderful President Bush.I know, I know. You're ashamed of me. I would have been ashamed of myself when I had a heart as bitterly fouled by anti-bipartisan hatred as yours is. Yet now in this newly politicized form I am ashamed at the ignorance of my past self. Those ear jokes! How cruel! I should have considered G.W.'s feeling before my own sadistic funny bone. I am regretfully resigning as head of our local Socialist Democrats for Positive Change chapter. Please don't slash my tires.Love and bombs peace, always, my friends.
I lol'd.
Anubis
Veteran
Joined: 6 Sep 2006
Age: 136
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,911
Location: Mount Herculaneum/England
16 Sep 2007, 4:57 am
You should loudly lament your suspicion that you will never find true love!
today on the subway i saw a girl with long tawny copper hair with red highlights. she was reading my favorite videogame manual and i think she smiled at me when i asked her for her number... we made out for a longlong time oh wait that was in my imagination =((( ... in real life this guy who had a lot of tattoos got on the train and played his guitar and she made out with him instead of me... i think probably nobody will ever love me again the way this beautiful princess with coppery cascading tresses caressed my soul on the subway. nobody understands me, especially women...
i am thinking of getting plastic surgery in order to improve my lameass appearance and maybe then deep and intellectual women will adore me and maybe theyll even have gigantic breasts.... =) at any rate...
im posting a link to my piccy and i hope all you people wont call me ugly and laugh at me too hard... its just that nobody has ever loved me. my own mother threw me in the creek when i was just two weeks out of the safe confines of her traitorous womb. my father went to work every day and never hugged me when he got home... one time when i finally got the courage to ask out the head cheerleader at my high school, she told me her boyfriend probably wouldnt like that, sending me into a dizzying depressive crash which i dont quite think i ever recovered from... that witch....
so...............do you all think im ugly, too??? =(
Ooook...
Thanks for wasting 30 seconds of my life.
16 Sep 2007, 5:19 am
16 Sep 2007, 6:42 am
You should say something nobody will understand!SOOOOO miek was over n I think we got the DARGO (hahahahahahalol! Thats are new code word for the YOUKNOWWHAT) but the scissors were too skany and lizardbreath fowler crept toward the jollies!! !! I wuz REAL bummed but cauliflour DROPPED while he was spewing poetry like MAYNARD JAMES and it was so f-ing hilarious I very nearly cried myself into carrotcakesexsexyes!! !!?!?! A n quitely quietly crocodilos me llamen RAQUEL pastywhite pricks dont know who the buzzard their talking to ever! So mike and me were liike jeses Christ busy at the record muhangaand this tat buster fricking druniked like nobody ever did. I relaxed when the lights flahed LOUDER but I came to this absoltely stunning convinction even stronger than a pagan revival meeting.----WE ARE NONE MADE FROM FLANNELSAURUS! I tnhik liek maybe we oblivioned me into fainting or ate some more DARGO but nothng ever will compare to jos firehouse rock. When I grow uppity Id find a stark and lumbering droplet of fungi blue dancing the day away because the nights too preciousosity EVER to spend on such vainglory. Mike says Gatsby freed the dead from an imprisonment of drunken revelationry but I was like wtf is this meaning for me now today with my elbow rammed up in PVC heaven? I never did figue it out but something im touching is soooo sooo SOFT AND SILKY so im gonna chase it to the highest heighst and may Buddha save me from everlong pumpkins. Thanks, DARGO, hahahahahhaha =) ill never forget the Alamo or the conoco or the shell or knights in latex amour. Its liek a punishment.
...Eep.
16 Sep 2007, 6:42 am
19 Sep 2007, 2:40 pm
