Adults with AS, how do you find eye-contact?

Post Reply New Topic

I can't do it.

Too much information maybe, I'm not sure, it's just you see too much in the eyes.

I like looking at eyes in pictures though, just not in real time, it's too much.

I don't make eye contact at all. I don't even try to fake it. I wouldn't mind seeing people's eyes but I think my worst fear or discomfort is having people see mine.

I actually covered my eyes when he was looking at me. ^

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand you're under.

Extremely uncomfortable with it. Always have been. I don't understand why people think it's this wonderful thing to do. So when i'm in a situation that i'm forced to like at work I just stare at their upper lip. It's a little trick I picked up. But, I do always have the thought like how long do I do this for before my eyes trail off and I stare off.

I quite often feel I have to avert my eyes when I'm watching YouTube presentations etc. When I'm reading a book, newspaper, or magazine, I sometimes have to fold the page or cover part of it with my hand if there's a face leering out of it. The aversion to still images is nothing like as strong, but they're still far too distracting for me to be able to easily follow the text.

I can’t help but look to the side of people sometimes.
This is off topic, but I also learned that human trafficking victims can’t look at people in the eyes. =/

You mean like YouTube presentations with people who are standing facing the camera? Sometimes I can’t watch the videos whether or not there is a person in the video.

At age 62 it still raises anxiety but less than it did when I was younger. I've never noticed a problem with YouTube eye contact though.

Today I tried the look at another part of the face and I found that helpful. I suppose I should practice on an NT who knows I'm ASD to see if I'm masking well enough.

It seems according to the assessments including the ADOS that my eye contact was "Not well modulated"(I'm still not totally sure what that means).

I went to see a GP (My stepdaughter was with me) about my back and hip pain yesterday. He was at the front of his desk while I sat on a chair at the side of it . It was not easy being so close and talking to him.

Eye contact can downright be painful, but I can maintain it if I make a concerted effort, but it’s clearly not naturally something many of us on the spectrum can maintain, comfortably for periods of time ...

I'm glad my culture doesn't care much for eye contact. You make it, it's okay. You don't make it, you're assumed to be shy.
One problem less.

I think about eye contact difficulties a lot recently, as I started a new job and there's this woman I can't make eye contact with for more than a millisecond.

Some context: I always had hard times making eye contact, but rapidly noticed it's not always the same difficulty level. I have been looking to "isolate" patterns for that, with no success. For me, it's not a simple pattern like "how much do you know the other person", gender or things like that.

I thought I had overcome this issue, by faking it (I intensely focus on the other person's left eye, trying to distinguish precisely colors and patterns in his/her eye, which gets me very focused and thus I forget I feel bad/awkward - but this only works for max 10 seconds, most of times the other person feels I am not focused on what he says and notice something is wrong with me). So I do this thing for 5 seconds max, then look elsewhere for at least 30 secs, then eye contact again etc.

Now to conclude and to go back to this woman at work. I have been in relationships with women before, including very beautiful ones in the public opinion perspective, so I know for a fact this is not just "being shy" or related to opposite sex. But this person at work, she has extremely clear blue eyes! Really crystal clear. So my temporary conclusion on this eye-contact issue is: I feel like the person could SEE MY INSIDE, and the more clear the eyes are, the most difficult it is to watch.

But I have a feeling that I am wrong on this.

I couldn't hold eye contact and would look down and away until my teens. Then for a while it switched between looking away or holding it way too long. Now I'm fine, but sometimes I still have to look away. Nervousness? Scared they'll see something I want to hide? Not quite sure.

I'm 63 . I try to make eye contact because it's expected .

From main assessments :

-same in ADOS 2

ADOS 2: