Do I have schizotypal disorder or even schizophrenia?

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Just seems like you have magical thinking type of OCD, as do I, definitely not schizophrenia, could Also be a form of dissociation.

I have "profound" fear of severe punishment (especially from God), large suffering and big evil. I strongly HATE them all. I want the situation in which their would not ever happen.

I also have practically no ability to earning money despite high IQ. I am not an effective worker, ever in simple jobs like fruit picking. I have problems with bearing physical discomfort and generally do not feel the need of getting the shower or changing clothes (other than pants when I go to people).

I had magical OCD when I was about 13 - 15 years old, then I gained the knowledge that doing magical compulsion is a sin against first commandment, something like withcraft, occultism, magic etc. and the problem with typical magical thinking became smaller because I did not want to commit sin. But I developed rather worse sort of OCD associated with religion (like scrupulosity). I had serious problems with making longer examination of conscience or confession, I "can" think that so long practices are above my mental ability (in areas like executive functioning)? I rather often exaggerated my sins because of fear of sacrilege or invalid confession, invalid or sacrilegious receiving of sacraments.

^^^if it is any cold comfort to you, NCA, i am not usable in the work world either.

I write in my old topic again...

I have serious problems with writing larger posts or messages in the Internet last time. I have something like "poverty of thought" and have "not so much energy". It is likre serious problem with concentration. It looks similar to negative symptoms of schizophrenia.

I have bizarre thoughts about shameful human physiology and anatomy which are very funny for my nature It may look similar to certain symptoms of disorganized schizophrenia.

I noticed some new "coincidences" since my last post in this topic. I may not have so much "wants" to write about them in the Internet because of something similar to negative symptoms of schizophrenia, such as "very poor concentration".

my concentration could use some vitamins, as well. seems we both are in a situation, either of AS or of something on the schizoid spectrum, or both.

It does sound like a negative symptom, yes. I had that experience too. Sometimes it would come and go in waves during the day, now it's more permanent. It might be that your positive symptoms have decreased somewhat, and so the negative ones (e.g. feeling like the head is "empty") become more conspicuous.

Bizzare thoughts might be some positive delusions remaining. Cognitive problems are usually manifested in decreased mental ability (in your case, poor concentration) and incoherent speech/thinking such as word salad. One doesn't need to have the "full package" to have a schizophrenic illness. It is such a diverse illness that scientist usually think of them as the "schizophrenias".

If currently negative symptoms are stronger, it might be a sign that you're recovering. After the psychosis abates, there's typically a risk for relapse, but the longer you can go without relapse the better the chances for recovery. It's all very individual though.

I have ideas of grandiosity and messengership which hypothetize that I am "the true Moses" and "the true Muhammad" - the Messenger and the Prophet, even the Messiah, that I am the key person in the history of Creation. I have a lot of "ideas of reference" which I called "coincidences" or "synchronicities". They appear for the "grandiose hypotheses" to be a proof of my "uniqueness". My "mentality" thinks that my mind is mysteriously "illuminated" by God. And mentality has an "idea of reference" than my "coincidences" aka "synchronicities" are divine sign associated with stunning phenomenon of mathematical and linguistic miracles of the Quran.

My "mentality" has hypothesis that mathematical, linguistic and scientific miracles of the Quran (which are undeniably present in the original text of the Quran, at least when it comes to mathematical and linguistic ones!) are the results of the sinful misuse of gifts like amazing konowledge and free will given by the only God to purely spiritual created persons ("angels"). "Mentality" thinks that eternal, unpardonable or mortal sin can't exist (because Indivisible God is the Absolute Good) and that every sin can be forgiven, even the scariest and (or) committed by an angel.

"Mentality" thinks that Quran, Torah and other books of Abrahamic faiths are the largest deceptions in the history of mankind and that these book present God as infinitely severe and ruthless instead of intereslessly and fully merciful and loving. Quran looks for it to be the best lie because of its "hidden" miracles ("synchronicities") associated with its Arabic text! "Mentality" concludes that Quran teach about Capricious and Ruthless God, not about Omnibenevolent and Gracious God. "Mentality" concludes that Abrahamic religions present "the image" of Evil God (which is, according to "mentality", a "satanic caricature"), not of the Good (True) God.

Polytheism, atheism, reincarnationism and pantheism also look as evils to my mentality, but "not as as blatant evils as "the picture" of the Creator presented in Quran or Torah".

Even if the Quran would had never been written or communicated to a human, God still would have fully known its exact content and structure because of His omniscience, it would be true even if someone would believe that God does not know the future (the choices of Him and his personal creations, the choices of free-willed beings).

"Mentality" believes that there are no things like eternal damnation, torture after death or annihilation of any sentient being (and that they are fully impossible because God is Good). It supposes that animals are not sentient at all and are like very advanced biological robots. It thinks that if animals are sentient, they have to have endless life in comfort and pleasure because God is Absolutely Good.

so on that last point, you must not believe in the rainbow bridge then?

In the religion of my "mentality" (not will!) - no, my "mentality" has no "knowledge" about it, it definitely excludes belief that animals in earthly life (can) feel pleasure or pain, but in the moment of death they are annihilated and have no happy afterlife (most of believers of abrahamic faiths may belief in this scenario, which my "mentality" considers "ugly", "disastrous", "sadistic", "cruel", "unjust", "abominable").

If animals feel pleasure or pain, they are somewhat like human newborns or people with profound intellectual development disorder... Animals are no persons, they have no free will, unlike humans and angels. Why there would be created "disabled" sentient beings which have no reason and free will? So it looks more probably that all animals (humans are not animals, but persons) are NOT sentient and can't feel pleasure or pain at all.

"Way of life", "worldview" of "mentality" "according to it" is based on logics, reason and illumination from God, not on books like Torah, Book of Enoch, Bible, Quran... "Mentality" considers these books as crafty lies of sinful angels which, for example, are according to the "mentality" for promoting false and satanic teaching about God, eschatology, creation and to discourage mankind from monotheism and truth...

when you use your "mentality" in that fashion, we amuuricans would say "you got your work cut out for you!" IOW the "mentality" can lead you down some unexpected places.

I would prefer the sceniario in which there is no hell at all and all sentient beings live without an end in bliss and comfort!

My "mentality" does not want to perform difficult Quranic rites like salat, ramadan, hajj and "it" considers them absurdal and "ungodly"...

I am "extremely afraid" of receiving severe divine punishment like torture or annihilation!

My psychiatrist last times diagnoses me with mixed episode of bipolar disorder (F31.6 in ICD-10) and prescribes lamotrigine (in relatively small doses).

I "have" "extreme fear" that Quran is the truth from God... "Mentality" wants the Quran to be false... "Mentality" wants all doctrines which oppose universal salvation to be false...

if it is man-made, there is a high likely hood of falsity in it.

I dunno if I understand it right...it's been 8 years since op made this thread. op is going to psychiatrist. the psychiatrist doesn't diagnose schizophrenia.

thus, why is the op asking us instead of going to a different psychiatrist or doing tests such as mmpi or other diagnostic tools used for screening?

I have grandiose, messengership and even "solipsistic" ideas in the "mentality" I think that I may be the most interested person in the Internet who supposes that Y-DNA haplogroup J-Z18271 is the proof of existence of twelve son of biblical patriarch Jacob (Israel). There is really little about supposed link between Jacob, grandson of Abraham and Y-chromosome haplogroup J-Z18271. J-Z18271 is clearly associated with Jews or people with Jewish ancestry, has TMRCA estimated as about 2800 ybp (which can be about 1000 years too low!) and has twelve(!) immediate descending lineages.

I have "thoughts" that J-Z18271 is the proof of Quran, but not of Christian Bible (because according to many Quran-believers biblical chronology (which says that the world and mankind are about 6000 or 7500 years old) is false). Quran tells about Children of Israel. "J-Z18271 appears to be a proof of Islamic teaching that the Propet Joseph had eleven brothers".

I do not want to deprave anyone, of course!

If I have no schizophrenia, why I function worse than many who have it???

My "mentality" does not tolerate pain, larger difficulty, tragedy... My "mentality" suspects that all abrahamic religions and their books are the biggest trick of Satan (or larger number of unclean spirits) in the history of mankind! My "mentality" suspects that I have the true faith in my mind, which tells that there is no sin which can't be forgiven at all! And that there is no hell, annihilation, purgatory and even reincarnation! And that true religion is about goodness and beauty, unconditional love of The Absolute and complete forgiveness, not about, for example, Sabbath, fasting in Ramadan or examination of conscience!

"Mentality" supposes that everyone who believes in monotheism, but does not believe in Universal Salvation will be exceptionally punished by shame, regret, humilitation before his/her full salvation, even more than atheists, pagans or "obvious sinners"!

"Mentality" "thinks", that abrahamic religions and their BOOKS do NOT tell about Good, Loving, Gracious, Merciful Absolute, but present "horridly satanic caricature of the only Deity, Who is presented by Semitic monotheisms as endlessly unmerciful, cruel and capricious"! !!

why not just ignore the Abrahamic religions?