33 year old never been in a relationship- need help.

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The problem seems to be that we aren't good at relationshipping.

This seems to be applicable to both sexual relationships and ones where sex isn't a consideration.

Aimed at anyone who thinks "respecting one's right to consent" means having to provide opportunities for others to consent with them.

*Means allowing opportunities for others to consent with others if said person doesn't want to*

I fixed your strawman.

In some cases yes, we're exploited for our naive and trusting nature.
There's proof of that right here in the history of WP.

imo it doesn't mean we're considered asexual.
Everyone knows autistic men want sex, just like any other man.

The problem seems to be that we aren't good at relationshipping.

The irony of complaining about strawmen when your entire attack on OP's ex is based on strawmen.

I think autistic vs nurotypical relations will be a field studied more in the future but so far from the lomited studies, there isn't anything to indicate people with autism are held to the same regard as NTs.

Hi all

I'm Sam and I'm 33 year old high functioning autistic man.

I have never dated or been in a relationship with someone as It appears that I'm a little clueless and couldn't tell if a girl/woman likes me in a romantic or sexual way.

Overtime I have fallen into the trap of isolating myself indirectly and avoiding dating as it has seemed impossible. I appreciate it is a subjective matter that's difficult to answer

I have attempted dating or asking people out multiple times and got met with the I'm with someone or my ex did this. It put me off for a long time and extremely worried that due to my inexperience. I will come across as not being worth a look at in dating and relationships.

It's been really hard to try and connect with someone as I think and feel so out of place.

Has anyone else had similar experiences and were able to address it please?

If so I would like to ask you for good advice please?

This thread is 12 pages long but OP hasn't posted since page 2. Thread went off the rails like they always do on WP.


I was in that exact situation at 33, I will turn 37 next month. I remember it like yesterday. My own situation is more dire than before, but I have some wisdom to share from my experience.

There was a story here I typed but I'm not going to bore you with it. It all seemingly changed, before I turned 34, I was in a long distance relationship with a woman, with whom we've made plans to settle down where I live (I had just bought a house at the time, and had a steady engineering job). Some months later we vacationed together and got engaged. Talks about big decisions in life were difficult. But I had faith that it will all work out because of my loyalty and financial security. I guess under the pressure of the big changes her mental health deterriorated and she did ugly, despicable things. Then there was infidelity. Ultimately she flaked and disappeared.

I made many mistakes throughout that relationship, speciffically I willingly closed my eyes on the many warning signs. Ultimately the wisdom gained boils down to two things:

1. It's better to not be in a relationship than being in a relationship with a wrong person.
2. It's better to not live than not be in a relationship, or be in a relationship with a wrong person.

Ultimately you should ask yourself, at 33, what is it that you want from a relationship?

At least for myself during my limited experience I discovered the significance of the term "partnership", where the couple shares the burnens of everyday life, and the expectation that each will contribute toward the collective growth. It's important to see the other bring things to share with you, and see the other make future plans that include you in them. In my experience this is where the disappointment came.

I'll be 37 next month and I'm alone. I think I'm actually worse off than I was at 33, back then I was hopeful, now I'm traumatized and paranoid.

I think the most helpful advice anyone can give you is to point out the fact that whatever you seek isn't at WP. You are wasting your time here, and I think you realized that by page 2 of this thread (and left).

are you saying your still a virgin and never dated?

and never dated?

Hi r00tbe33r and welcome back.

Yes. It seemed to be a common occurance. Extremely sexually inexperienced women seemed to pick autistic men more often, perhaps because they were perceived as being more similar to their own personality but it never ended in a positive outcome. Sadly, their sexual inexperience gave many a very one dimensional view on socially awkward men, assuming they lacked sexuality.

I and other autistic men I met found it extremely annoying. It's probably just as annoying as incel virgin men assuming all pretty extrovert women are constantly jumping into bed with every hunky man they see. It was irritating stereotyping that just resulted in animosity.

If they actually put the effort into respecting the sexuality of others and learning about, ideally sampling it physically themselves, they wouldn't have ended up in the mess they were in.

Just avoid women like that, they'll be too much hard work at your age now. Look for ones who are open and receptive and not closed off and give you the stink eye when you flirt.

I'm sorry for the dreadful experience you had in the past with your ex. It's not nice when someone thinks being innocent and celibate is a mandatory obligation because you have autism. Glad you got shot of childish people like that. They bring nothing to the table in your life.