Might autistic women not be the best match for autistic men?

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I don't even know anyone dx with autism in "real life" except for family members or people I met through WP. I can see where there would be potential advantages of having them understand more than an NT but again based on my family members I don't know if that's necessarily true. My kids are both autistic for example and even though they might understand that they each have sensory needs, it doesn't mean they're willing to accommodate them. My son likes noise to fall asleep, like a TV or an oscillating fan. My daughter whose room is right behind his wall needs silence to sleep. The TV drives her insane and the fan clicks against the wall. She has meltdowns about it because she can't be flexible due to her neurotype, just like he can't be flexible about sleeping in silence. Neither is right or wrong, but they're both incredibly set in their ways.

My partner is NT but at least he understands on an intellectual level because he's a counsellor and he's worked with autistic clients. He's also learned about my specific needs through trial and error (mostly error in the start lol), meaning that he was willing and able to adjust and accommodate by being flexible, in ways my kids wouldn't be able to. Understanding only goes so far. Putting into practice and actually accommodating differences is a whole other kettle of fish.

I do like autistic men though, at least the ones I know from WP. This isn't a critique of autistic men. It's just me saying that I don't know how flexible I could be for someone else's eccentricities especially if it meant adapting my own.

Well maybe theres something to this thread to OP made .. cause after having known a few men in my life .
I think I would hate breaking in a new Partner..etc ..
Not sure I would be the best pick anymore, ... .....but must admit you never know who might turn up .
That might be alittle understanding ....and even a tiny bit accomodating

I'm the only one in my extended family who is autistic except on my mom's side the son of one of my cousins is. However all my biological realtives on that side of my family are very NT except for him & he's the only other introvert on my mom's side. Half of those relatives are either teachers or nurses. My dad's side is a bit weirder but they're pretty social at times except for one of my cousins. She's an introvert but seems to be a normal one.

Part of the reason I wanted a relationshop is because I never felt like I fit in with my family & I figured that a partner who also had issues might be more compatible & understanding. My first girlfriend was the first person I ever felt close to partly because we had some issues in common. I also tend to be more attracted to women who are not normal. I really like being the normal one in a relationship. I can deal with someone odd a lot better than feeling odd. With my parents(especially mom) I was in the habit of feeling a need to explain & justify myself & actions as wrll as being secretive about things to avoid having fights/arguments. I'm a lot more stable & relaxed when I'm the normal one. Maybe I like offering the support & acceptance I wish I had gotten.

That said, I tried not to limit myself with potential partners but I don't think normal NTs had much use for me.

I don't have a strong preference for autistics or NTs because I think it depends on the person. However, I will say that I'm interested in someone who IS autistic.

I know some pretty great autistic men too.

If my brother was to start dating now he would probably end up with an Autistic woman instead of a neuro-typical

That makes sense. Marriage is a huge step and it's hard to know unless you've been with someone a very long time, improving communication, goal setting, and dealing with conflict. It also helps to go out with more than one person before getting married because otherwise people have nothing to compare them to.

David has a degenerative disease and you aren't even sure which disease it is, so I imagine that means you aren't communicating very much about each other's needs or about the future. I think that would make it hard for you to commit to being his full-time caregiver but of course there's always time to learn and grow.

^ To make it clearer, please edit quoted posts to provide only the part you're responding to.

^ Thanks.
The clarity can depend on the display - but none of it is as clear as quoting the specific text, and that helps avoid screen clutter too.

yeah i recently joined an asexual community group on facebook, and from reading certain comments, asexual people are not unheard of, as in, these people still instinctively innately desire a relationship, companionship with another human being, even if sex is not involved.