Spacedoubt wrote:
pekkla wrote:
I'm thinking you may project a friendly and possibly vulnerable personality. While this is good in lots of ways, it does draw creeps. I should know, as I still have this problem, in my fifties. If you are an aspie, you may not use the typical NT filter that keeps creeps at bay. I tend to let everything show on my face, which makes me seem naive and a doormat. Ask another woman if you seem naive. Find a male friend to walk with you when you go out. And yes, report the creep who is following you to the police.
LOL that would be great advice, if I had friends.
I think that you are right. I really seem to have a problem with this. I was even stalked by a man who had done prison time for rape.
I honestly don't understand the difference between just making conversation at the mailbox and not being a jerk (which is what I think I'm doing) and giving these men whatever signs they think they're picking up on.
Why do they think I'm interested, when I certainly am not? Intellectually I understand the problem, but to actually recognize what I'm doing wrong and change it? No, there's a huge gap there.
At least there's the pepeer spray.
You're not doing anything wrong. Even if they did think you are interested, They are wrong to be grabbing and touching you without your consent that said they probably don't necessarily think you're interested...they're interested and just wont take no for an answer because they're human feces.
But yeah it wont do any good to try and search for what you're doing wrong, that could just lead to self blame and you should not be blaming yourself for creeps harassing you.
The focus should be how to defend yourself from those things. For instance if a guy grabs your shirt like that, you had no obligation to tell him anything about what the shirt said or talk to him anymore you would have been in the right to tell him to f**k off and get away from him without offering any explanations or answers. If he after that tried to go after you then the pepper spray would be appropriate and potentially calling the police when you're somewhere safe. But no you're not wrong, they're wrong.
Also people can kinda freeze up if someone touches them inappropriately, so you shouldn't blame yourself if you weren't able to stop them doing it. I mean I had a guy put his hand on my thigh on the bus once, I didn't do anything I didn't know what to do and was just glad when he got off the bus. Sure maybe I should have done something, but he shouldn't have been touching in the first place.
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We won't go back.
07 Sep 2009, 6:48 pm
