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why do gay men act like women and gay women act like men?

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leejosepho
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23 Feb 2011, 11:31 am

visagrunt wrote:
I stand by my original position. It is patronizing for an outsider to come in and defend the interests of a minority.

I can personally accept you perspective and opinion there, but then who made that historical remark that " ...by the time they came for me, there was nobody left to help."


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Mark198423
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23 Feb 2011, 5:17 pm

visagrunt wrote:
Mark198423 wrote:
Wow, climb down from your high horse. The guy's a new moderator (not just LGBT as most moderators here do most forums) just trying to ensure he gets the balance right in the site's newest forum.


I stand by my original position. It is patronizing for an outsider to come in and defend the interests of a minority.

Let's change the perspective somewhat. Suppose that this was an Aspie forum on a general board. How would you feel about an NT moderator coming in to moderate the board? At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many Aspie friends and relations an NT has, that person does not understand our experience the way another Aspie does. The same is true for LGBT people. (In fact, I think it's a mistake to lump G, L, B and T together, but sometimes we have to be fellow travellers).

As I have said, I have no doubt that leejosepho is a fine, caring, upstanding individual. I am sure that his questions are well meant. Indeed, were he not a new moderator looking for some sensitivity training I would welcome the question from an outsider trying to learn about us.

But an outsider who comes in to be the defender of our interests by combatting homophobic remarks and hate speech carries with it two implications, neither of which have been mitigated: first, it implies that we, as a community, require outside help to defend ourselves from those who oppose us, and second, it implies that one does not have to walk a mile in another person's shoes to understand their oppression.


There's far too much 'us and them' in your post. What members of both AS and LGBT claim to want is equality and that is never achieved with such talk. The moderators have a duty to ensure the site's core rules are followed and I believe leejosepho is going a little beyond that so shouldn't be looked down on for doing so, I'm sure the same kind of questions will not be being asked once the forum has been going for a while.


I suggested that 'T' could warrent it's own section rather than being lumped in with 'LGB' in one of the posts about the creation of the forum so can see where you're coming from with that bit. We'd probably differ somewhat after that though.



nick007
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23 Feb 2011, 9:11 pm

If you guys are uncomfortable with someone who's not LGBT moderating this forum; I have time & would be willing. I had gender identity disorder & went true a secret cross-dressing phase when I hit puberty, I questioned being gay before, & I feel kinda like a lesbian in a man's body. I'm kinda a mix of everything here but not hard-core in either extreme. Someone like that seems like a good choice considering this controversy


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leejosepho
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23 Feb 2011, 9:25 pm

Mark198423 wrote:
The moderators have a duty to ensure the site's core rules are followed and ... leejosepho ...

Just to be sure there is no misunderstanding: I am no longer moderating on WP, yet I do still hope things go well here!


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RightGalaxy
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25 Feb 2011, 11:36 am

I "thought" it was done to not be attractive to the opposite sex and as a signal to attract the same gender who were interested. But when I saw butch and fem couples, I got confused. The first experience I had around lesbians was with two hairdressers one butch, one fem. They owned a shop together, broke up but remained business partners. I remember being able to accept the butch one more readily but saw the fem as a complete freak. Now, as a 50 year old woman, I feel ashamed for thinking that way and often hope that they are alive and well. I was 14 back then and started to respect differences at about 19. We are all human beings and it is appalling what we do to each other. Words, attitudes, gestures can really sting and take away someone's right to be happy.



visagrunt
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25 Feb 2011, 12:07 pm

leejosepho wrote:
visagrunt wrote:
I stand by my original position. It is patronizing for an outsider to come in and defend the interests of a minority.

I can personally accept you perspective and opinion there, but then who made that historical remark that " ...by the time they came for me, there was nobody left to help."


Most assuredly a fair comment.

But, I suggest that it is there to remind us to stand up and defend the defenceless--not to take the mantle to become defenders of those who are perfectly capable of defending themselves.


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visagrunt
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25 Feb 2011, 12:46 pm

leejosepho wrote:
Just to be sure there is no misunderstanding: I am no longer moderating on WP, yet I do still hope things go well here!


When I posted that I believed that you were a fine, caring, upstanding person, that statement was perfectly true. Whatever displeasure that I have expressed about the site's approach to moderation, or to particular actions that you have taken, I hope that you know that none of the displeasure was meant to attach to you, personally.

Please accept my sincere apologies for thoughtlessness in what I have said to you, either publicly or in private.


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15 Mar 2012, 5:05 pm

Descartes wrote:
There are lots of gay men who are very masculine but are just more in touch with their feminine side than straight men, if that makes sense. Just because lots of gay men might take a lot of time with their appearance and have somewhat high-pitched voices does not mean that they're 100% feminine.

Yeah, I think it's that gay men tend to be less afraid of their feminine side.

This notion of 100% feminine or 100% masculine has always been misleading.


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16 Mar 2012, 7:25 pm

I like men but I do not act like a woman I guess its because im omisexual I am attraccted to the person not whats between their legs



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16 Mar 2012, 11:55 pm

I'm bi and I have no idea what I act like.

Some lesbians are more feminine than me, some a more masculine. I like that. I think it's because I'm naturally attracted to more than one gender expression. I like that people can be who they are.

Nearly all the straight girls are more feminine than me. I suspect that's mostly natural, but partly social conditioning, too. I used to wear more 'feminine' clothes until my sensory issues got worse and I admitted to myself that I feel better in more comfortable clothing. There's more to masculinity/femininity than appearance. Just because someone looks butch, doesn't mean they always act that way.


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Sweetleaf
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17 Mar 2012, 9:54 am

Well not all homosexual males act, talk or dress like girls the vocalist of this band doesn't:


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L397TWLwrUU&ob=av2e[/youtube]

I think as with every other type of people things vary between individuals.


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17 Mar 2012, 8:56 pm

I'm too tired to look at all the flames you probably got for this but one simple explanation is that some of us our wired like the opposite gender.

Whether you give 2D4D ratio any credit or consider the effects that hormones of have on the development of a fetus or not, men and women are wired in different ways and according to my fingers I'm wired like a man.

But I already knew that.

Also, some of us who are wired like the opposite gender don't act that way at all. I've been told my way of thinking seems "male" and am usually the weird one in a group of women but I am femme.

I won't even call myself femme, actually, because I don't care about any of that butch-femme BS but I am a feminine woman in appearance and always have been.


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