Moral dilemma: efficient lie versus embattled truth?

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No doubt....if you wear headphones, guys won't approach you.

The suggestion of headphones is a good one that I'm sure can and does probably work well; also the suggestion of short answers.

Unfortunately, I already do the short answers method, and it hasn't worked. I do all the "curt" things like short answers, turning back away, letting there be silence. I've even had a book in my lap and bend right over it, reading! People have still interrupted my reading even when they have approached when I'm already reading, or continued to talk to me even when I turned back to my book.

I seem to be a magnet for people determined not to leave me alone.

For the headphones and music suggestion, again a good one, but the reason I go to this park is that the waterbirds there are my special interest, and I mean it's the biggest thing in my whole life. They come up around me, I interact with them, I've learned their calls and sounds and the meanings of the sounds they make, I talk to them, I even make some of the sounds back and they respond; it's seriously like my whole project in life. I'd like to write a book about my connection to these birds and things I've learned about them, although I haven't yet decided what form the book should take, but it's something like Joe Hutto's animal bonds.

I take photos with a professional camera and I shoot video of their behavior -- people have even walked up and interrupted while I'm shooting video and it's very visible what I'm doing.

So, given all this, listening to music wouldn't be good for that activity, and even wearing headphones, if they muffle sounds, might compromise my interactions with the birds. At times when the birds have gone off for a swim, I get out a book, and it's then that I find that even a book doesn't stop people from talking to me. I might also add that I sit away from people, close to the water's edge, down slopes, and at least in my own opinion (I might be mistaken) I think I probably look like someone who just wants to be there alone. I'm always busy with the birds, my camera, note-taking, etc.

Given the interruptions still come when reading, videoing, etc, this is what makes me feel that even if I were to wear headphones, it might not put people off from chatting. I honestly feel like I must have a sign on my back that says "Stop and talk to me even if I look really busy, am reading, or give very short answers and don't seem to be responding enthusiastically!"

I can understand that some of my bird interactions make someone stop once in a while and remark upon it, and I accept there will be some of that. That is in fact what made this guy start talking to me -- he asked question about the swan I was feeding, and then he never stopped...

The regular park-goers in general in that park are very social and it's a bit hard to take when I'm reading or looking like I just want to be alone with my thoughts. The park is my only way to get into a nature setting as I have no backyard and I really need the time there.

There's a section of the park that has a refreshment stand and people gather there like it's the Cheers bar ("Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name!") but I don't even go to that spot.

I wish people would realize not everyone in a public place is there even TO talk to strangers or be social. There still is such a thing as just wanting to be alone with a few trees and water.

You do want to interact with birds; music would interfere with that.

Maybe headphones without music? Would that be uncomfortable?

I could try the headphones without music; if it muffles sound too much, I'd be missing out on a lot that I find interesting and peaceful in the park; my birds' noises, even just the lapping of the waves on the lake. I could try and see how it goes though.

Thank you too, kraftie, for getting where I'm coming from.

I think there should be steep fines for people intruding on others in public spaces, particularly if they are trying to enjoy nature

AspE, yes this is why sometimes I feel like a total lie is the only way to go, I just wish telling the ordinary truth too would be enough.

DataB4, if you like social situations you would love this park, haha! It's very friendly; there are tons of "regulars" who go there precisely for the fact that they know they will run into the other regulars, and sit around and have a chat.

It's a double-edged sword for me though, because one of the reasons the park is a relatively safe place for a woman by herself is because there are so many friendly regulars who linger there around the refreshment stand, but the other side of the coin is they assume everyone there regularly also wants to be socialized with, and that's not true of me. It's a good place, I just wish some people would see that alone time is another thing people want in a natural place.

Bender, haha, I wouldn't go so far as to levy fines for those who try chatting with unchatty people, lol! But yeah I know what you mean; I do wish some people would not assume that what they enjoy is the same for others despite signals sent out to the contrary.