I finished University!

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Some horrendous news today. I'm in tears. Absolutely shaking. I need to resubmit one of my assignments next month. Now, if I pass - yay! 2:1! However, if I fail - I don't graduate.

I, personally, was on the "6 year plan". It is kind of part of becoming an academic - to join the club you have to fulfill the Kafkaesque rules and run the gambit of Full Blooded warriors as they strike you with blunt weapons. If you survive, then that which does not kill you makes you stronger, and you get to be a member of the club and "get that piece of paper".

Just remember:
Every human being has value.
Your value is exactly equal to 1 human being (no less than any other human being).

You are a good person - no matter what hoops you have to jump through for the ivory tower wizards.
(What me bitter?)

Try and laugh and be around people you enjoy and who love you.

I think I feel a little bit better now that I've cried it out. There's a lot to do though in the space of a month, and to fail now when I'm so close to graduating would absolutely destroy me. All I need is 40% in this class and then I can graduate. I was shocked when I received a 25%. This is the first time I've done this badly. I actually put a lot of effort into this class, it was difficult and there was little help offered. Thankfully I have friends who are willing to help me through this and access to university computers that can cope more than my laptop ever could (which I didn't have before due to travel restrictions). At this point I don't even want to think of a fail scenario. It seems cruel, a 2:1 or flunking out. All because of one class. What a stupid system.

It's unexpected and a shock to the system. It changes your planned routine for the next month and of course it's unnerving, but your reaction is normal. Pause and reflect on all the positives that you listed above. I'm certain you'll get your 40 and life will move on. In retrospect this will just be a very inconvenient blip on the radar. I had something similar in my final year of Undergrad. I can't even remember what it was, but I was terrified that I wouldn't graduate because of a certain exam or something. I think it was Calculus? I had visions of embarrassing myself and disappointing my family. Everything worked out just fine and now I don't even remember what all the fuss was about. Time will heal this, and you'll graduate. Give yourself a little time to get used to the shock, but then reach out to your friends and keep us posted.

Good luck!

Reality - you don't have to flunk out. You can take any class again and get your GPA back up by doing better.
At least that is how it usually works. It is more time and money (loans) but not failure - worse case.
You could try and talk to the Prof - he/she might be willing to help. Couldn't hurt and might help.

I am looking forward to when this is all over.

Any updates? Were able to come to an agreement with your teacher?

I think the hardest part of this project has been motivating myself to do it. There were plenty of breakdowns. My sleep schedule is not the best right now. I remember one day in particular that was especially bad, I went for a walk around and a woman went to check on me because she saw that I was tired and looking upset. We talked briefly and then she left. Oddly, that conversation helped.

My friends have been helping me through it, but there were moments of self-doubt and panic. Moments of loneliness and jealousy. Seeing my friends receive their final marks was bittersweet.

I have until the 8th July to finish this project and submit it. So far, I have completed the 3d model and I am currently on the texturing stage. Adding scratches and dirt for the sake of realism. The animation is a simple tyre movement, it should be fairly simple to get it to move forward but rotating the wheels to simulate movement can be tricky. Then I'll add my background image and add effects such as shadows and possibly light emission to deepen my depth of field so my 3d model looks less out of place and actually in the scene rather than just on top of it.

All I can do is try my best. It's looking better than my old design, so I am hopeful. There are flaws, but I'm hoping that the pros will outweigh the cons and that it will be enough to get a low pass in this module (which I am limited to due to my failure). I am going to keep my model in the scene for longer this time, since that was one of the criticisms the first time around. The model will drive around and show all of the sides, so the assessor can have a good look at it.

I am still going to my degree show, I've thought about it and I still have time to go. Granted, it's a highly cut down version of a degree show since we're rather limited in what we're actually allowed to do these days. The fact that there's a best in show award is amusing to me, what are we, dogs? Should I jump high and get a treat?

This year has been rough so far, but at least it's not 2020. I am going to get my first vaccination soon. This work better result in a pass, I do not want to experience this module ever again. I just want to get my 2:1 degree and leave, I've had enough of being a student.

Lost_dragon, just today I was searching the web for an "animation bootcamp" I have wanted to do animation since I was a small boy watching behind-the-scenes shorts about Disney hand drawn animation.

What you are describing sounds amazing to me - don't forget with all your struggles that you have talent and opportunity some will never have. You are already doing more than I have ever done. The year I first visited my High School the art students were working on drawings for short animation films - the project must have been a one shot thing because it never occurred again while I was a student there. I still have dreams of taking "just one class" in animation some place.

Hang in there

I'm more used to 2d animation, so having to design in 3d has taken me out of my element. Nothing particularly impressive, but it is nice to be reminded that it is still a skill. I know that when you're surrounded by other artists, each with unique skillsets, it is easy to look at your own work and think 'Wow, this is hot garbage'.

Especially when you've been looking at it for so long and can only see the flaws. I do struggle with 3d animation and our tutor has been incredibly harsh this year. Art students and their tutors can be a pedantic lot, I'll tell you that much. Still, don't let that deter you. There are plenty of tutorials online and there are free softwares out there such as Blender for 3d modelling and animation.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy hanging out with other creatives. However, I do tend to prefer hanging out with a mixture of creative people, especially if you have complimentary skills. This can lead to some good collaborations. i.e, a comic artist and a writer working together. For instance, I hang out with a woman sometimes who is an excellent coder and has good creative concepts for games but struggles with artwork. I think it would be cool if we worked together on a project, we have joked about starting a business together before but I doubt that's actually going to happen.

I tend to feel like an absolute moron around 3d artists. Which isn't fair to compare, since I am much more practiced in 2d design so of course I'm not going to be amazing at 3d art right away. It's a different skillset. All I can hope for is a pass.

I am getting my first covid vaccine tomorrow.

Congrats - I hope it doesn't take too much out of you for too many days. For me there was mostly fatigue and some muscle soreness. Tylanol treated the soreness. I just had to ride out the fatigue, but tea helped after the first few days.

Frankly I think the worst part was the meal I had beforehand. It had American cheese on it and I'll admit that I am biased against American cheese compared to European cheeses (I'm allergic to Stilton though). There's something about the texture that makes me feel sick and I try my best to avoid it. It tastes like plastic to me, but I guess it just depends on what tastes you're used to and what you grew up with. Tastes vary across the globe. I'm the same with American chocolate, I don't like it. Belgian chocolate is my favourite.

Anyway, the vaccination was fine. Slight pain, then it was over. Needles don't bother me. I remember having a vaccination at school where they stuck two needles in me, one in each arm because I'd missed a jab, now that was painful. This one was fine though. Some soreness in the arm, but it's not that noticeable. I'll have to see if I experience any tiredness in the following days. Hopefully it won't be too bad, since I still need to work on my project and hopefully pass it so I won't have to do it again.

Update: I finished my resubmission!

...Now I've just got to wait until the end of this month to find out if my efforts were enough.

In the meantime, I'll be enjoying a bit of time off.

Congratulations on finishing your resubmission. We are all pulling for you!

Congrats! Bud