L & D - To What Extent Can We Discuss Gender Differences?

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Of course, times have changed.

Even when women haven’t known that I was married, no woman has ever overtly expressed a romantic interest in me—except for that time when a co-worker followed me home 40 years ago.

I don’t know the exact reasons for your experience, but women do ask guys out. Making this about gender excludes the experiences of many women.

When people say: “most women don’t approach guys” or “it’s easier for women because…” it excludes the experience of many women. It’s as though our experience as individuals doesn’t matter because it doesn’t fit in to some supposed statistic.

Most of us have ASD and are exceptions to a variety of rules and social mores. We should be used to that way of thinking and be more inclusive in the way we approach topics.

I certainly didn’t say it’s “easier” for women.

I would certainly listen to a woman’s experience in this realm, and not shrug her off. Shrugging her off would be nonsense. I’m all ears!

Women have gone through lots of crap. And it’s very difficult for many women to find a suitable partner. It’s irrelevant whether women evoke overt interest from men. It doesn’t mean too much qualitatively if a woman is abused based on that interest.

Of course you know I wasn’t quoting any statistics. Just my experience.

I haven’t really evoked that sort of desire in a woman. I’m not lamenting this. That’s just the way it is. It’s my job to offset this so I could find love.

I happen to value a woman’s mind much more than her physical aspects.

When someone says "My eyes are up here," I interpret this to mean that the person is not emphasizing the body (below), but the mind ("up here").

It is often said to guys when they only seem to be emphasizing the body (objectification).

That's what I said above, in essence. That the man should stop ogling the woman.

I wouldn't get all bent out of shape if a woman said this to me. Even if I wasn't actually looking at her breasts, I would concede the point.

But I can understand a woman's reticence, since there are other guys who might react too strongly to this. I can understand a woman not wanting to feel like they're going through a minefield. I wouldn't want that for myself.