Buying online

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One reason I tried to talk about it here was because I had brought it up with my parents on more than one occasion, and my mother in particular was getting pretty sick and tired of having to listen to it and tried to give me abrupt answers to my question, so that she wouldn't have to listen to me anymore.

I bet she said something like “Ok, so you comprehend the online purchase process and know the pros and cons inside out like all of the rest of us.. so, either choose to buy online or don’t; it’s entirely up to you just like every other person on the planet when they decide to buy something either online or in person. Then move on, just like everyone else.”

I’m guessing it was something like that because that’s the reaction you get here and no one can figure out exactly why you’re going on about it as if you’re confused about the concept, process, pros and cons, or how and why people make decisions to buy online or in person on an item by item basis.

It's just something that's always bugged me in particular. I guess it's an autism thing. I like to talk about these things, but when I can't talk about it to my parents, who can I talk about it to?

The thing that irritates your parents, and people on a forum a bit, is that you seem
To be talking in circles about it with no particular objective of something you’re trying to understand better or decide upon etc.

Everyone’s just trying to figure out what your point is and you don’t seem to have one to articulate, or at least, so far, haven’t managed to communicate it if you have one.

Yes, the relevant question would be the difference between one truck dropping the stuff at a retailer and you picking it up via bus or car.

I'm skeptical that having things delivered is going to actually reduce the gas used. Especially if it's getting to a regional dept via an efficient train with a short haul truck.

My point is that it should be my decision as to where/how I buy things, not anyone else's. I remember a time when you didn't use the Internet to buy things. There was no such thing as Amazon or eBay or whatever. You would have to go into the store to buy something, and I kind of miss those days, but obviously, I'm the only one who does. Everyone else, including my family and people on this forum, don't seem to miss those days at all. On the contrary, they seem to have embraced it wholeheartedly, seeing as the first and last (in other words, the only) resort in the shopping process. And another reason I prefer going out to shop instead of shopping online is that I don't want to just sit around the house all day. I like to get out for a little while.

It IS your choice. No one is making you shop online. Wtf? You can go buy all the things you buy in person. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to do that.

People have been ordering by mail and catalogs for a century or so - and there were likely purchases made by word of mouth/travellers and custom order goods for a long time before that. The internet just allows for a much more efficient global marketplace than ever before.

But you still have no obligation to use it if you’re happier buying everything in person. Do you think anyone is forcing you to do otherwise?

No, but I get criticized for not shopping online more often.



No, but again, I do get questioned on that, and I don't like it. I find it annoying.

If you’re not interested in doing it for whatever reason or another, don’t do it and don’t give a s**t what other people think about your shopping habits.

It makes Zero Sense that you like to discuss the pros and cons of online shopping to no end with your mother or us here on a forum when it’s something you’re not interested in doing in the least bit. Wtf? Seems like such an annoying waste of time to discuss the economics of doing it with you to answer all of your intricate questions when you’ve already decided that it’s a thing you’re not going to do.

Just don’t shop online and quit bothering your mother and others with endless conversation about it if there’s No Point in discussing it with you because you’ve already decided it’s not for you. Jeezuz.

I like to be able to talk to someone about it. I meet once a week with a therapist, but I don't think it's enough. What am I supposed to do while I wait for my meeting? Just keep it bottled up inside? I don't think it's healthy to do that.

I'm surprised you & your mom's opinions on this are not reversed. Usually it is the older generation that has a hard time adapting to technology & prefers to do things the same way they've always have. Also autistics tend to prefer to do online shopping more than our NT peers due to anxiety & other issues leaving our homes to go shopping but there are LOTS of exceptions of coarse.
My parents still have me order most of their online purchases for them. They only have one credit card that they only use when they can not use cash nor checks. Their credit score should be almost perfect because they are lower middle class, they've taken out a mortgage that is fully paid off, they've financed every singe car purchase they made throughout their lives even thou they could of afforded to pay the whole price when they bought the cars, they also have a bit of money they set aside for their retirement that's in mutual funds & savings bonds. The reason my parents have me order online for them is because they don't feel safe using a credit card due to concerns about identity theft & concerns about being charged more than the purchase price claimed.

That said, it should be your choice to buy thins online or not. I could understand your mom having an issue with you buying things in person if you were having her bring you shopping or if you were getting majorly overcharged for buying things in person instead of online but otherwise it's best to agree to disagree. Tell her you do not want to keep having this conversation with her because you don't want to get upset with each other by having an argument.

I think your problem is that you are taking about this too much. Talking about this with your mom turns into arguments & you might be coming across as very judgemental about this, & like GF said you do not articulate your point well. Might be best to buy things in person & not advertise to others that you do while also not criticizing their decision to buy things online.

It's hard for me to talk to her about anything critical at all. When I do, she tends to criticize me for being so whiny and so needy and will try and shut the conversation down.

How is this “critical,” when you’ve already decided it’s not for you? Why is there any discussion about it at all ? Wtf ?

Half the things that I own. I bought off Amazon.ca..

Yes, it is interesting. Logistics.. convenience, cost, environmental impact etc. Might be nice if more people used bicycles - and the City thinks so since they keep building bike lanes.. and some get used, but it's still a Very car centric place. With more e-bikes and scooters there are more people getting around short distances quickly like that than ever. Heck, some can beat buses and cars through traffic if they time the lights just right.

Mostly people are lazy and going to do what's easiest, and/or they're cheap and going to do what costs the least Or opt for what they can afford when they don't have enough money to operate a car. A combination of laziness & cost consciousness wins I guess. Hence the delivery services.. costs less to pay for delivery than it does to own and operate a car and go drive around to go shopping - especially if someone pays $10/mo for a service like Amazon Prime and orders tons of things delivered. A LOT of people no longer have cars or even bother to get drivers licences when they turn 16 years old around here because housing is so expensive they cannot afford both a place to live And a car to drive, so they figure out a way to work/play etc without a car, and then utilize delivery services more than ever.

It probably results in lower emissions than if they drove everywhere like I do.. but it's definitely a very different lifestyle. I remember when I didn't have a car for about 2 years. I walked and cycled a LOT, and when I took transit it took 2-4 hours each direction to go anywhere.. would take 2 hours to get to work and 3-4 hours to get home. It's exhausting. You spend almost all of your non-work hour time riding buses and trains and walking. Brutal. The moment I had a licence and car again I remember running 3-4 errands in one day and thinking "How did I ever make it 2 years without a car??! ! Never again!" Plus people without cars live very "small lives," and don't really get out much to other parts of town/slightly out of town.. what's an hour 20min drive for me may as well be an overseas vacation for them. That's a crappy limited life, IMO. I really like being able to hop in my car or on my motorcycle and just goooooo.. there's way too much cool stuff to do that's more than a walk away from home and w/o vehicles you miss out on that. I suppose some can make do with car share programs, though. Still not the same.