28 Feb 2023, 9:27 am
bee33 wrote:
skibum wrote:
bee33 wrote:
skibum wrote:
bee33 wrote:
It feels like there is a gaping bleeding wound in my chest that has been there for nine months, ever since the person I love most in the world and who has been my soulmate and other half for 40 years shoved me out of his life, and since then he has had a girlfriend (at first a few girlfriends, it wasn't even that he left me for someone else, he just left me for no reason) and until he doesn't have a girlfriend we can't even communicate (because it's just so painful to me, and I can't) and he can't make up for what he did and be at least a friend to me, and be sorry, and be there for me, so to me it feels as if every day he is choosing to continue mauling me, every day he is stabbing me again and again, and I can't survive this, but I also don't have enough courage to end my life so I am stuck with this completely intolerable pain and I am screaming in agony and this is my life forever. There is no way I can get over having a bleeding wound that keeps on bleeding. I am in so much pain I don't know what to do.
Sorry.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I went through something similar a few years ago. It took a very long time for the pain to subside. But it does. Sorry.
Thank you but the pain is not going to subside. That is something we tell ourselves, and for many things it does work, over time. But not this time.
The last thing I want to do is live my life. I just don't have the courage to end it so I have to keep on suffering. I live with unbearable pain and no way out. I have 30 years of screaming to look forward to.
Except that the person causing my pain could stop it at any time. In an instant. But he won't.
Thank you for your kind words.
