How Oblivious Are You?

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In the meantime, I'm sorry about what happened.

1) Advice is useful
2) What happened to her isn't fair at all
3)Some people are monsters

4) When I read about these things it makes me angry.

People who do these things are cowardly people.


Dangerous people can be found on public transport.

Since Asperger's I have difficulty looking at others.

I have to do everything quickly.

A solution is as you write: knowing how to do simple things, but well.

Location makes the difference.
Even the reaction.
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In a big city anything can happen and people will never help you.

To not get involved.

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I recommend that your daughter give her something to use to defend herself, spray, even hairspray to spray, it's legal.

Then there are defense methods such as Krav maga.

Or a plastic key ring used for defense is legal here.

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If he screams and attracts people's attention, it will make him run away.

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Anyone can get on public transport.

Be careful, look quickly to understand where to position yourself.

If the vehicle happens to be full, as soon as a seat becomes available, look for the one closest to other girls.

It is better to respond to every request in a decisive and calm manner with no.

*Never start trying to talk, make it clear that you have chosen the wrong person, the one who reacts is very disorientating.
Only clear sentences and raising your voice to tell them to leave immediately.
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In words it is easy to write, but in practice you need to train yourself to do life-saving things.

Yes, thanks! For me, anti-creativity bias is probably the single most confusing and painful thing about living in society.

While most people and institutions claim to value and encourage creativity, they really don't. And there is actually a lot of pressure on individuals to shut yourself down and follow the same basic path as everyone else, as if you're a deviant for taking the time to stop and notice all the beauty and ugliness in the world.

From an evolutionary/sociological perspective, it doesn't make any sense to punish or exile the lateral thinkers who act as innovators, healers and bulwarks against group think.

Thank you.

We bought her a rape alarm, which makes a loud siren. She has it attached to her body belt and it can be activated with one button.

My husband bought me a rape alarm but it's useless. To use it I have to use both hands, unclip a key and push the key into a hole. By that time the attacker would have thrown it away or attacked me.

Rape alarms you can press with one button are much better. Just PRESS and the alarm or spray works.

I decided that after I kept being accosted, I would say loudly: 'Leave me alone, total stranger'. Because most of the time people assume the attacker is the woman's boyfriend or husband, and it's a domestic dispute. Saying 'Help! I don't know this man and he's hurting me!' may cause people to help.

I'm very sorry Rossall, I remember you.

I know it's very difficult, lit's easy to give evaluations.

Think you can't stop drinking?

You need help, associations.


Try to feel good.


Don't care what you look like to others.

You're just in trouble, but it's not just up to you.

Addictions are acquired.

Now and alone you will not succeed.

But with people who helped you stop drinking?

Excuse my English .

I hope I have written comprehensibly and been kind.

Hi!

The alarm is an excellent deterrent.

Except it's as complicated as you describe it.

As you write, something more immediate: it must be immediate to activate.

And the other thing you say is right: people justify things by thinking they are boyfriends or partners.

But they make a very serious mistake: if a woman says no and to stay away, the other person must do so immediately.

Whether it's your partner, your husband, your boyfriend, there is no social excuse.

People don't understand.

A no is no and that's enough to any person you say it to.

Always .

Spray can be used with hairspray, so you don't run into problems because a girl can have it with her, who can dispute it?

There are pepper sprays, but I don't know if they are legal in your country, because in some states the laws even vary.

Yes : also tell them to call the police .

If this happens, remember well how he is dressed, his height, how he moves, if he speaks, what inflection he has, the color of his eyes. If he doesn't have glasses covering his face, it's not easy to remember because you're under stress.

Another important thing is a minimum self-defense course.
If you hit the lower parts he's knocked out.
Even his nose from under or with both hands his ears he will lose balance.

Except that on a bus you have no escape routes.

If you have an object in your hand, even a small bottle of water, throw it at him, he will be taken aback.

In many defenses, women also succeed very well.

They can also ground you if instructed how to do so.

They exploit each other's strength to derail them and react.

Two or three techniques are easily learned.

*As a man I feel embarrassed by these behaviors.

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Once, two of us got up to help two girls of about 16 years old.

He ran away.

As we passed her to sit down again, we asked if we could so as not to make her feel uncomfortable.

They smiled at us.

And told to pass quietly.


With us you run the risk that if you defend yourself he will even sue you for damages and win.

We didn't care and luckily he ran away.

Luckily for him !

Yes the only advantage of my daughter is that she is very small and people may feel sorry for her, seeing she can't defend herself. Well they think she can't.

I was always labeled as a space cadet/day dreamer at school. Little did I know I had ASD and iADHD. Most of my early relationships I seemed to drift into. Due to my social anxiety I didn’t speak a lot, and ended up being labeled as a good listener. While this was not really the case, I ended up in relationships with women. They never lasted very long as I always forgot to keep in contact if we weren’t living together. I also seemed to drift into my 25year marriage. Unfortunately it recently ended in divorce, but now it’s over I don’t really miss it. As soon as something is done and in the past, I don’t attach any significance or emotion to it. That makes me oblivious to other people’s feelings about past events.

Hopefully that all came out right

Yes, these days it is SCIENCE that is the thing to be worshipped. We are supposed to be logical, practical, scientific. What a boring world that would be if we were all like that.

I noticed that during the pandemic lockdown, people relied heavily on creative, artistic means to endure it. e.g. entertainment shows, books, films.

As you say, the lateral thinkers shouldn't be punished/exiled. The whole reason humans still exist is because throughout history, a human has said 'But what if we do it THIS way, instead of the way we've always done it?' Or 'Eureka! I've found the answer.' That is how humans have evolved, or we'd all be still stone age animals.

I know what you mean! I got so many school reports saying I was 'dreaming'. I presumed it was because I was distracted because my dad was very ill and died when I was a teenager at school, but it might have been ASD too.

I've drifted into a lot of things too, especially jobs; following my husband's jobs round the country; having a baby (that was a very silly idea because I was living in an area where I knew no one, but I'm glad I've got my daughter now)

It's only recently in my 50s that I've actually started taking control of my life and planning things. Which I'm actually pretty good at now I am doing it.

Cartoonist Bill Watterson once wrote that his creative process might look a lot like goofing off to the uninitiated, but is far from it.

Back when I was still mired in psychiatric medications, my doctor had prescribed meds that were supposed to combat my "lack of motivation". But while I had difficulty keeping a full-time job, I still managed to build a series of DIY skatespots that included a full sized wooden replica of an empty swimming pool.

At the time skateboarding was practically dying, but small scenes around the world such as ours were keeping it alive. Our work ultimately paved the way (no pun intended) for thousands of free public skateparks to be built, rapid industry growth that now tops multi-billions of dollars of profit annually, and the status as one of the most exciting new Olympic sports.

But from the point of view of a dumbass like my doctor, because my creative pursuits were not earning any money (yet...), they were a waste of time and proof that I lacked "motivation".

Ugh, what a world we live in when the healers don't even know what is worthwhile.

Well I am going to start being very oblivious at the current job (for context it's a job at an animal lab, for veterinary stuff not like cosmetics, more testing veterinary meds and such) and I just clean their enclosures and feed them. Idk a newer co-worker decided to snarkily say 'make sure you fill your waters' it was frusterating because I always make sure there is enough water in thier revisors I just don't fill them all the way if there is a deep clean the next day or if the scedule isn't up to say if its a deep clean or not I still make sure the dogs have enough water to get through the night I am just trying not to all the way fill it if the next day someone has to take them down and clean them they aren't all they way full. So I got a little defensive when the said that and was like 'I filled them yesterday, and I usually do' but she was most of the way gone out of the area by the time I thought to say that.

So I guess I will just look to see if she is ever doing a deep clean the day after I do a room, so I can make sure to fill the water revisors in there all the way up to the brim, so it's harder for her to take them down to wash. Idk f**k with me and findhe out I guess. But yeah freaking as*holes at my job, like making me feel like stupid highscooler again with their drama and acting like b*tches to me like I just work there and do my best not to get in the way so idk why they have seemingly took issue with me like do they think I am prettier than them like I don't even wear make up and I have like jack Nickolson eyebrows so I kind of doubt that one, are they just bullies who look for easy targets which I could be since I struggle with confidence or do they just got sticks up their asses...idk. Or are they being judgemental that I only work part time there which seems like they probably work part time to since they are usually only there for 3 days a week. I just never like did anyting to either of them aside from attemt to say good morning a couple times which the puffy one ignored but the short one sometimes engaged in a bit of small talk with me moreso before she and puffkin became friends.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 06 Oct 2023, 4:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

In high school I was mistaken for a person who was using recreational drugs since I was often spaced out. (I wasn't).

well I wonder if they think I am just some idiot who works there, but like no I am a human being wtf.....cause like she said it the way you might talk to a pet that's an animal. LIke 'aww make sure to fill your waters' and I felt like f**k you I'm not a ret*d but all I could say was 'I do usually fill them!' and f**k you, but I left the f**k you part out obviously as I was at work.

I wouldn't overthink the snarky remarks of co-workers, unless their words have consequences, it doesn't really matter and you are better off not getting annoyed.

Yeah you are right about that, like my boyfriend says for things like that, that they aren't paying rent to live in my head so like it's ok to be pissed but I should try to let it go and try not to let it effect me so much. I mean I don't even want to be friends with them so why should I care at all what they think. but there is a part of me that i=s really worried about what people think and I guess it's hard to ignore that, like I am always worried about how people will judge me so makes it hard to express myself.

Cause yeah so far their words have not resulted in any kind of talking to from management so I should assume I am doing ok and those guys are just being as*holes to me for some reason that I am not sure of.

BUt stil the worst I did for miss pufkin was trade rooms with her because she was worried she'd get overwhelmed, so the thanks I get is her then ignoring me even when I tried to say good morning a couple times when I came in but she was like extremely unreceptive to it so I stopped trying. And now her sticky little minion is on my ass and like I also certainly never did anything to them so Idk why they seem to have developed a problem with me. LIke at my current job I am just a quiet person who comes in for a part time shift, does my work and leaves...so I just dont see what they have a problem with me for like what did I do? ...exist? idk.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 06 Oct 2023, 5:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

In personal defense I have seen very small and short girls cope with attacks and win:

The advice is then to run away, or if it does, run away immediately.

If you are a teenager and an adult approaches you, you could be a pedophile.

And these things make people angry.

and if it's the case she has to shout it out.

Making noise, shouting, shouting and saying farsi exactly as you said.

Breaking free and running away near other people.

She will not come near you unless she is under the influence of substances she will be afraid of him.

However the on-board cameras pick up, immediately go to the police and tell them how and where it happened.

They will look for it