How To Stop Thinking I'm stupid

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26 Jul 2024, 10:35 pm

Just focus on your personal traits and it's potential prospect regardless of autism label, regardless of what your parents believed it to be.

And if you do actually have it, change your perspective on the label...
Or fight it if you want to. Your choice.

But if you're the type who's easily swayed by others' opinion, that's your social-emotional profile and whatever circumstances you've been like how your relationships had been.

If you're somehow selective on what you would affirm to be true and deny to be true; either you have a goal or you have a particular belief underneath.

Not all is about autism, but your beliefs and perception of self and the label matters.

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DeadlyMouse
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28 Jul 2024, 1:35 am

BunnyJen90 wrote:

When I was a teenager I had a counselor that my parents forced me see that thought I was autistic, however I have never been tested for autism. Since then I have been so worried about having autism. Recently I got rejected for a different job and now I'm worried I got rejected because they think I'm autistic and I'm once again worried I could have autism. What can I do to stop these thoughts.

Hello,
I am in a similar boat at present. A lot of my friends and even my partner have said I am probably somewhere on the spectrum. My councillor has also said I need to go get check out because she thinks there's more to it than just anxiety/depression. So I am not diagnosed I know I'm not "normal" though. So I've booked an appointment with my doctor. There's s test online called RAADS I've done this and I'm going to take my results to my appointment.

I am at a bit of rut in my job because I cannot keep up with demand, I am absolutely terrified that I'm going to be fired. I am genuinely trying my best, but I feel so burnt out. My job is only part-time and I cannot fathom how people cope with how much they have on. I am certainly doing something different to them to burn out so quicky. I'm not sure how deal with this in honesty, but it's out of my control and I'll have to figure it out as I go. I feel stupid but I know I'm not, this is just imposter syndrome talking. You are not stupid, most people don't even know what's going on and are faking it (and that is stupid) but confidence over everything.

But most jobs nowadays cannot discriminate or are actively trying to hire people with disabilities or minorities to ensure they tick the inclusivity box - which I think it great. Some jobs also have certification that they are neurodiverse friendly (at least they do in the UK). So that could be something to check.

My advice though would be to really research the company. Their social media, LinkedIn, everything you can, if it is a place you can publicly visit - go and get yourself familiar so you have confidence with the environment.

I have found confidence over everything gets you places - so become confident with the subject matter and environment.

Observe, Gather, Compile, Produce.

Double Retired
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28 Jul 2024, 1:02 pm

DeadlyMouse, Welcome to WP!

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When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.

BTDT
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28 Jul 2024, 2:38 pm

DeadlyMouse wrote:

I am at a bit of rut in my job because I cannot keep up with demand, I am absolutely terrified that I'm going to be fired. I am genuinely trying my best, but I feel so burnt out. My job is only part-time and I cannot fathom how people cope with how much they have on. I am certainly doing something different to them to burn out so quicky. I'm not sure how deal with this in honesty, but it's out of my control and I'll have to figure it out as I go. I feel stupid but I know I'm not, this is just imposter syndrome talking. You are not stupid, most people don't even know what's going on and are faking it (and that is stupid) but confidence over everything.

It sounds like you are masking. Attempting to a appear normal. This takes an enormous amount of effort and often leads to burnout.

Go to 1:10 to see the relevant scene about Mystique Masking

BunnyJen90
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31 Jul 2024, 5:35 am

I started my evaluation yesterday and now I'm worried about the results. I'm starting to regret asking for an evaluation not only did it cost a lot I'm not sure I can handle it if it does turn out I do have a disability. It's just I always wanted to be better than others and I feel a disability would make me less than others.

auntblabby
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31 Jul 2024, 4:04 pm

in the end, one can't hope to be better than others, but one can hope to behave better than others. :idea:

Double Retired
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31 Jul 2024, 4:10 pm

It makes you different, not necessarily disabled. Some specific abilities might be disabled but then others might be enhanced.

Perhaps it would change your viewpoint if you searched the Internet for famous Autistics.

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funeralxempire
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31 Jul 2024, 4:19 pm

BunnyJen90 wrote:

Sometimes our narcissistic traits don't get what they want, life goes on.

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Carbonhalo
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31 Jul 2024, 4:26 pm

funeralxempire wrote:

Have you heard of pathological demand avoidance?

ROFL. I once painted myself a T-shirt that said

"Anything I'm asked"
"Nothing I'm told"

I rarely think of myself as stupid.
Hasn't stopped me doing SO many stupid things.

CockneyRebel
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31 Jul 2024, 8:39 pm

We're all intelligent in our own ways. If you concentrate on the things you can do, you'll start to think that you're smart.

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Stormyweathers
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01 Aug 2024, 3:12 pm

I'm a genius.

I'm comfortably stupid too.

I might find a unique solution to a problem that no one else at Microsoft could come up with in the morning, and then get a text from my significant other telling me I left my freezer door open for three days, and my cat is licking defrosted spaghetti sauce off the floor.

I can't be employed by just anyone, but I'm valuable when I find my niche.

Don't worry about job rejections whether it is one or a hundred. Just keep looking for your niche.

Carbonhalo
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01 Aug 2024, 3:22 pm

I found my niche but the wheels fell off it.
'23 was the worst year of my life.

Stormyweathers
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03 Aug 2024, 7:04 am

Carbonhalo wrote:

I found my niche but the wheels fell off it.
'23 was the worst year of my life.

You're not alone. For fourteen years I thought I had a corporate home, and then I didn't. Five more years and multiple jobs go by, I'm feeling lost, and then I find another. Seven years into that, and it seems like the wheels will fall off here too.

When that happens, I will eat an irresponsible meal, drink an irresponsible quantity of adult beverage, dust myself off, and start looking for another.

The world turned out to be a lot bigger than it looked when I was 23. When I was 23, I was in my first two years of being a scientist. The day I was hired by a major oil company I started cleaning out hundreds of empty laboratories where the scientists had just been laid off. A year after that I thought it was my worst year too.

I changed careers, big companies and small, tried to be a leader (ROFL), and started finding things I do better than just about everyone else. Now I have a wife and a daughter who love laughing at everything I have in common with Sheldon more than they hate my idiosyncrasies. It became a life.

Keep at it. Take a leaf from the Japanese. "Fall down seven times, get up eight."

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