Brian0787 wrote:
I thought I would share something here that I wouldn't normally share but I'd like to hear what some others think. Like many people on the spectrum and even those who are NT I have self-esteem issues. This is probably a vain thing to say but I enjoy wearing dress clothes and suits because it increases my self-esteem. I never really cared for dress clothes growing up. I think I kind of hated wearing them to church when I was little. About five years ago I got an accounting job at a company that required a kind of business professional dress code.
We had CEO's who would occassionally come to the office. I was "required" to wear a tie and a dress shirt. I thought just wearing that by itself seemed kind of silly and thought "If I'm going to do that I might as well wear a suit". That's what I ended up doing. There were some girls (around my age and some slightly younger) who worked there and felt (this could have been in my mind) that I felt more attractive wearing one. It did also increase my confidence a bit and felt more polished and put together. At one point I even bought a suit vest to wear and made the suit a three-piece suit. I did like how it looked. Now even when I go out to things like the grocery store I still wear a suit jacket and dress clothes (without a tie). This is an incredibly vulnerable thing to say and admit but I like the attention I get from it. I wish that maybe wasn't the case but I can't lie and say I don't.
I sometimes feel bad that I am this way. I went to the store this evening and wore one out and the girl at the checkout asked what I did as she hardly ever sees anybody in one. I told her I worked in Accounting. It made me feel good to get the compliment. I am at the point now where I dislike wearing normal clothes anymore. I only wear run down clothes around the house and never in public. Even with outings with family to restaurants and family gatherings I wear a suit jacket. Maybe I'm trying to be someone I'm not but I feel better in one. Maybe this is another facet of the "Masking" phenomenon with ASD. I don't know what to make of it anymore but am interested in hearing what others think. I am thinking maybe this is something I need therapy for and is indicative of some self-esteem issues.
It sounds like it's not the clothes that improve your self-esteem, but rather the reactions the clothes generate. One could say "it's the same thing", but there is a difference between wearing a suit making you feel good just for wearing it, and wearing a suit because people respond positively to it.
We ASD folk aren't exactly known for picking the right social cue, or for getting praised for trying - sadly - but in your case, you've managed to do both - and as such, it's understandable for you to want to play that card as much and as often as possible. To some extent, there's nothing wrong with that - but if you're only doing it for the approval, and not cos it means something to you personally, then it may be a bit of a "mask".
Just don't let it become your whole identity, and be honest with yourself as to why you're doing it. It probably would be good to discuss with a therapist.
21 Apr 2025, 11:45 pm
...do not let IT dictate your dress code.. 
.... 
I like the blue light blockers on glasses! They really help eye strain 
I love the quote you gave at the end 
