scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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5. Not bad not great. Feeling on edge. Can't relax. I'm trying to feel comfortable. I've been lying in bed.

Back at my typical 7.

-5. Trying to tell my family I need help with my mental health during a discussion about my work and they just dismiss it and continue to talk about my work. I am not happy and haven’t been happy in a very long time. I don’t know what to do, nobody can help.

10. Feeling really good, and listening to music. Curating a playlist. Quite a large playlist. I'm making it to influence my Spotify algorithm. It's a modern country/ Americana playlist. I want to get more hidden gems in my suggested. I was tired of all the same stuff showing up. It's a non skip playlist too. I listen to pretty much everything, however I'm in the mood for that style right now. Im not making it public though as it's got quite a personal touch and is quite varied in it's definitions. I love making playlists and finding music new to my ears that I enjoy. So the day is going pretty well.

Again at my typical 7.

-10

No number.


Only that I already knew at a very early age that I'm worthy of love as myself.
And I don't even need the complexities that came with masking and intimacy and all that conditional love crap.

At the same time, it's just what other people just wanted to see, while it is me, yet it's not all of me.

Sometimes I can make do, sometimes it's annoying.
Thus, people just do not perceive enough. Do not get it. Not even those closest to me.

On the other hand, I have more cards closer to my chest. That things people won't expect of me and the advantage of it.

On the other hand, I can just make myself and my life more difficult by being deliberate over it.

On the other hand, I like secrets and the thrill of finding out others'.
On the other hand, that's exhausting.
On the other hand, it's a motivation that I can get behind.


So, do I like my secrets more or a chance of being understood a bit more?

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Currently at a 5 right now, but IMO, I will get back to my typical 7.

+4 I'm still employed, food, loving relationships and enjoyment of life. A lot of room for improvement but I'm happy to appreciate my blessings.

At my typical 7 unlike yesterday when I was at a 5 again.

7

At a 6 right now.

-4

7. Have been feeling bad lately but music has been helping. It elevates my mood everytime.

Back at my typical 7.