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Majority of autistuc men dont have a girlfriend?

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TwilightPrincess
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23 Jul 2024, 12:46 am

It’s getting a bit confusing. Are you clicking on the quote icon when you are trying to quote someone?


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IsabellaLinton
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23 Jul 2024, 12:48 am

Graves Knight wrote:
Are you saying that people shouldn’t talk about their experiences related to this topic?

You can but not everyone is going to have your life exactly to the bone. It's uniquely your life; not the rule. Support groups that can relate to those issues is the best place to share those experiences. I can't relate to anything that's happened to you, but you can't really relate to me on my experiences. Which is why I exclude my experiences unless personally asked.


I've never said men's experiences aren't valid or welcomed. This thread was started by a man who has disappeared from the topic, but regardless I'm giving my point of view on the reasons why some women might not be dating men (or anyone). When it's a topic assigning motive to women as homogeneous group I think it's important that women give their points of view or advice. That doesn't mean men's experiences aren't valid. You'll notice I said many times that I've been trying to point out our commonalities in the dating sphere rather than our differences.


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Graves Knight
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23 Jul 2024, 12:59 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Given the fact that sexual violence is such a big problem in the autistic community as per the evidence I cited earlier, it’s worth discussing here on an autism support forum. I have received a lot of support from folks here that’s meant a lot to me, especially over the past year and a half.

Apart from that, it’s probably good for others to see female concerns related to this topic if they otherwise seem to be dismissive or solely see things from a male point of view. While not all women experience rape or domestic violence, we all know people who have. Our concerns are valid. Incorporating research is good, and we’ve done that, but it seems like folks often don’t get it when it’s solely talked about in an abstract way.


This is a very good forum. Yes the concerns are definitely valid. Everyone has their own perspectives and are always engaging. What do you mean in an abstract way? Sorry I misunderstood this.


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funeralxempire
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23 Jul 2024, 1:00 am

Graves Knight wrote:
Yes, the world can't be completely fixed with policy's and it's quite complex. We can't fix crazy but we can protect ourselves from it through awareness.


Awareness and risk management are big factors, so why be critical when people demonstrate those methods to reduce their exposure?

And as for the women who don't (ie: date higher risk types), it's worth considering that at least some of the time that also is a risk management strategy; it might also be due to trauma or mental health concerns. People often seek the protection of a monster if they're surrounded by many monsters.

I'd also consider how often media depictions of romance involve unhealthy relationships and how that contributes to people forming less than healthy ideals. Common tropes sometimes serve to normalize unhealthy behaviour and relationships, making some people fail to recognize something as a red flag. People seem prone to forgetting that media characters are written to tell a story or make jokes, not to depict ideal relationships.

There's also the behaviour that was modelled for one in their childhood. If you witnessed people tolerating being abused you're more likely to believe that's normal. If you witnessed people engaging in abuse you're more likely to believe that's normal. Sometimes even when one understands it's wrong they still fall into the family tradition, so to speak.


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23 Jul 2024, 1:03 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
It’s getting a bit confusing. Are you clicking on the quote icon when you are trying to quote someone?

I am I'm just trying to get used to the mechanics of the site. Sorry about that


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IsabellaLinton
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23 Jul 2024, 1:06 am

Case in point: I'm thrilled that Emerald Fennell will remake Wuthering Heights as the gothic, violent horror it truly is, rather than a romance.

https://www.empireonline.com/movies/new ... ext-movie/


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funeralxempire
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23 Jul 2024, 1:06 am

Graves Knight wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
It’s getting a bit confusing. Are you clicking on the quote icon when you are trying to quote someone?

I am I'm just trying to get used to the mechanics of the site. Sorry about that


It can get confusing, but you need the top part of the quote tag that includes the poster's name.

Code:
[quote="Username"]Post.[/quote]


Should give you:
Username wrote:
Post.


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funeralxempire
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23 Jul 2024, 1:08 am



Viewers: Relationship goals. :heart:


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


TwilightPrincess
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23 Jul 2024, 1:10 am

Graves Knight wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
It’s getting a bit confusing. Are you clicking on the quote icon when you are trying to quote someone?

I am I'm just trying to get used to the mechanics of the site. Sorry about that

No, it’s cool. New members often ask about that stuff, so I thought I’d ask.


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Graves Knight
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23 Jul 2024, 1:12 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Graves Knight wrote:
Yes, the world can't be completely fixed with policy's and it's quite complex. We can't fix crazy but we can protect ourselves from it through awareness.


Awareness and risk management are big factors, so why be critical when people demonstrate those methods to reduce their exposure?

And as for the women who don't (ie: date higher risk types), it's worth considering that at least some of the time that also is a risk management strategy; it might also be due to trauma or mental health concerns. People often seek the protection of a monster if they're surrounded by many monsters.

I'd also consider how often media depictions of romance involve unhealthy relationships and how that contributes to people forming less than healthy ideals. Common tropes sometimes serve to normalize unhealthy behaviour and relationships, making some people fail to recognize something as a red flag. People seem prone to forgetting that media characters are written to tell a story or make jokes, not to depict ideal relationships.

There's also the behaviour that was modelled for one in their childhood. If you witnessed people tolerating being abused you're more likely to believe that's normal. If you witnessed people engaging in abuse you're more likely to believe that's normal. Sometimes even when one understands it's wrong they still fall into the family tradition, so to speak.


All of what you just said is true, but not everyone experiences this. There's a possibly something traumatic can happened to you on any day without growing up around it.


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23 Jul 2024, 1:14 am

funeralxempire wrote:


Viewers: Relationship goals. :heart:


LMAO that was funny! This video looks wild too


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TwilightPrincess
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23 Jul 2024, 1:14 am

Some abusers are good at hiding their behavior in the beginning and/or they choose to pursue you when you are at your most vulnerable. Being autistic might make it harder to recognize red flags, too. With me, it was a perfect storm of factors but too complicated to address here.


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IsabellaLinton
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23 Jul 2024, 1:17 am

For some of my abuse, the problem was the law.
I was legally forced to stay in those situations because I owned the house.


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Graves Knight
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23 Jul 2024, 2:25 am

Off topic, but I posted on the (Art, Writing, and Music) forum my action storybook on YouTube called Graves Tale: Mascot Memories. If anyone has the time, or need a distraction on your next trip to the bowl, please check it out.


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23 Jul 2024, 7:40 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
QuantumChemist wrote:
There is an infinite supply of knowledge to be had, but you must find it to learn it. Some will try to hoard certain parts of it for themselves. Avoid those if you can while learning. Not all knowledge is equal.


Very well put, but I'm sure that applies to men as well as women researchers.


Yes, it does apply to both sexes. I look at the pursuit of knowledge as being much like gold mining in the 1800s. You might not get what you are after, but you will find something out in the process. There is a lot of “fake gold” out there, so beware.



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23 Jul 2024, 9:09 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
Not jealous of the women at all (I have no reason to be jealous of the woman in this scenario. I have no desire to get with a man).

I'm jealous of the man. He gets easy intercourse, despite being a piece of feces by every definition. Meanwhile, I struggle when it comes to dating/sex, despite being way more honorable than him.



Easy intercourse?!
Did you really just say that?!

I thought your concern with this topic might be to advocate for women who are "kept" by felons.


I am 100% opposed to any scenario where a woman is coerced into being with a career felon.

In this instance, however, we were talking about a woman choosing to get with a career felon.