Why is there so much sex in the gay world

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Couldn't you spare a few for me? I have a shortage of cute boys to fool around with. I've only had one this year, and none last year.

I've noticed this as well and can't help but dislike it, especially with how many STDs are spread. I wouldn't mind being like the lesbians with much lower rates; however, we can't change who we are. Remember that something like 3% of men are gay, that's tens of millions of people. There are pockets within those that aren't very sex-driven and prefer romantic relations or just being friends. I myself found it in an FB group that tends to admire men more aesthetically than sexually.

That’s kinda normal for covidtimes, though.

I didn’t hookup with anyone at all for more than a year and a half, not until we’ll after being double vaxxed and ensuring partners are. And recently there have been 3; 2 prior fwb and 1 one time thing.

So it’s not me who’s been horsing your supply of cute boys. :p I’m sure others have, though, as plenty of people never bothered abiding by social distancing guidelines etc. But I did/do - can’t risk covid in my household.

Overall, though, majority of people I know have had drastically reduced social and sex lives through covid, so you’re far from alone in hardly having sex recently.. which makes it no big deal, not like you’re any worse off than anyone else or others are expecting people to be well practiced and experienced the last couple years.

This is true.

I’m not a member of groups like that, but some of the hottest accounts I follow on tumbler are definitely more aesthetic appreciation/artistic model photos vs porn. So even I get that.

Plus covid has changed my thoughts/desires/habits. I’m much more selective - either it’s going to be super smokin’ hot or it’s not gonna happen at all. Although, much of that may be explained by my body composition change by being lazy and getting soft. I bet once I’m stronger, leaner, and swifter again I’ll find myself with a higher sex drive to decide what to do about.

With gay men it's simple. Men normally have a high drive and they are just having as much sex as your average hetero male would like to be having.

I enjoyed this.



It's great that gay teens now have pop cultural icons who just step up and say hell yeah I'm gay. I mean Katy Perry may have kissed a girl and liked it but that doesn't make her bi. She is married to a guy and has a kid, and has no girl lovers that we know about. That's heterosexual to me.

Artists such as Mary Lambert, King Princess, Girl in red, Hayley Kiyoko, Tegan and Sara, Dodie Clarke and Sarah Barrios offer songs that show a more genuine expression of such experiences than I kissed a girl ever did, that song comes across as plastic and calculated imo.

However, it should be noted that behaviour does not equal sexual orientation. A woman can be bisexual but have no experience with another woman. It is the attraction that defines it, not the action / behaviour.

One thing apparently didn’t change from the 90’s and early 2000’s to now though: Most popular music is absolute rubbish!

It has even gotten worse. Holy s**t and I already found Katy Perry absolutely horrible and unbearable to listen to, this is somehow even more awful.
I made it to 54 seconds then I had to stop listening because my ears couldn’t handle the assault.
Freddie Mercury was a gay icon with actual musical talent. The world doesn't need whatever caricature of music this is.

Lol I love Katy Perry, esp the Smile album. However most of my favorites are 1980s music. I point Zoomers to songs like Endless Love by Lionel Richie and they say things like wow why doesn't our generation have music like that?

Good music from my era.

Ok I think Katy Perry pretty much comes out as bi in this fantastic video.

Well, Katy Perry indirectly made this a thing and I found this to be quite funny back when this song came out so I can at least give her that


I can imagine.
I’m glad that I wasn’t born into Gen Z for many reasons to be honest.




That is a nice song, agreed =)

i've struggled with this as well, and it's actually something I've considered when planning my transition as a trans masc person. Dating while being perceived as a woman/having "female" secondary sex characteristics gives me access to a lot of less sexual spaces to flirt and meet people, whereas I do feel like explicitly mlm spaces are usually centered around sex. It's a toughie.

I read a book about gay mental health a a few years ago: "Straight Jacket," by former Attitude editor Matthew Todd. It certainly shed a light on why one of my old college friends went off the rails for a while. The author argued that this is a bit of a culture thing - there's a long-standing assumption in gay culture that you SHOULD be enjoying lots of no-strings attached sex, because that's what all men really want and what's the point of being gay otherwise? But lots of men are actually more monogamous in temprement, and lots of men can't handle the pressure to be constantly making yourself attractive. So it can easily turn into a self-destructive thing.

While your assumption is true, that gay spaces/apps are more centred around sex, it's Also true that they revolve around a culture of consent/respect and not expectations/rape. Mostly. There are certainly some Very forward gay men, but if you're in a club or whatever and someone's making you uncomfortable by being overly sexually assertive/aggressive, move/leave/tell them so/report them to staff etc - don't ever let someone grope you or do anything you don't want them to do. Make a scene if you have to - embarrass them. "EXCUSE ME, I HAVE BOUNDARIES YOU JERK." (I've never seen someone have to do that, I'm just saying it could be a thing.) MOST guys are reasonably well behaved in gay spaces AND there's a growing "consent culture," and even articles written in gay publications calling out the (past) culture of people being so forward as to touch people without asking etc so that those things change. Overall I'd say they're safe spaces (here where I live!) and Super Safe if you go with a friend or two vs. solo and feel anxious about it.

Similar for Grindr/apps. I know there are tons of extremely hyper sexual guys on there.. and certain types/appearances of guys can get a LOT of attention - sometimes unwanted. But it's pretty easy not to respond, or to block profiles that are rude/turn offs.

I have an ftm fwb I see once in a while - he told me when he logged into Grindr once he got messages from like 200 guys at a time. I believe it.. young, good looking, ftm etc and prefers to just meet people in real life that he clicks with and then maybe eventually has sex with vs. being bombarded by hundreds of messages from horny guys. That said, Grindr isn't 100% like that either. I've been chatting with some ftm cutie on there and we were going to meet each other last weekend.. then he stopped responding. Yesterday he messaged to tell me he hadn't spent more than a minute at time on the app all week and was just feeling a bit low and withdrawn from life/friends and hasn't been in the mood At All. I told him that's fine and I appreciate him telling me that and just keep in touch if ya wanna meet up sometime when you're feeling more social and/or sexual that's cool. Not all gay guys are jerks about stuff.

IMO, don't let how gay guys Might behave influence your decision to live your truth for yourself. Live as your authentic self, and if some gay guys are a part of your life - cool - if others get excommunicated/blocked from it, ok whatever - but don't stress about overtly sexual gay guys so much. Just deal with any of them in the most appropriate way possible in the moment and carry on doing your thing with or without them as you see fit.