What is wrong with the way autistic people communicate?

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On revisiting this thread, it occurs to me that some people probably misinterpreted this. The "I" in these examples is meant to represent the NT speaker as a way of illustrating NT communication style. I apologize for any confusion.

I certainly misinterpreted it. Not sure there was anything confusing about what you wrote though, I think I just read it wrong and went off on a tangent. Sorry!

From the Pages of "You Might Be An Aspie If...":

... anything worth mentioning is worth an hour-long monologue.

... contractions (i.e., "can't", "didn't", "hasn't", et cetera) feel like sandpaper in your ears.

... during a casual conversation, you blurt out babble that sounds related to what is being talked about but really is not.

... everyone stops talking when you come into the room.

... giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those same people afterwards.

... making "small talk" makes you feel like a phony.

... no one pays attention to you when it is finally your turn to speak.

... other people tell you that someone is interested in you just so they can watch in amusement while that person rips you a new one for having the audacity to even speak to them.

... people often ask you what you are thinking about only because they have not heard you speak in a while, and not because they are interested in what you have to say.

... small talk conveys no useful information to you.

... someone is talking to you, but all you can hear is the dripping faucet or the spinning fan in the next room.

... you always feel like everyone around you is speaking in a language you do not understand.

... you always feel like everyone listens to you only out of a sense of politeness, or that they are just waiting for someone else to talk to.

... you are better at writing your thoughts down than you are at speaking them out loud.

... you do not talk for the sake of talking, but to only express your opinion when you have something you think is meaningful to say.

... you edit a post multiple times just for typos and spelling mistakes because you are paranoid someone will misinterpret and/or criticize what you say.

... you enjoy talking to yourself more than conversing with anyone else.

... you lose your ability to speak in front of an audience because you are focused on controlling your "fight or flight" instincts.

... you over-explain simple things because you want to make sure the other person knows your position and does not accidentally give it a tone or underlying meaning you were not trying to put there; but the problem is, the more things you exempt from what you mean, the more you think that the other person is wondering what you are really trying to say, so instead of making your point clear, you are basically convincing the other person you have a hidden meaning, and they just have not figured out yet, which turns a simple statement into a treasure hunt in an exceptionally long monologue for the other person to parse through while simultaneously waiting for you to pause long enough for them to excuse themselves politely and walk away.

Well miscommunication may be my superpower.

It's the taking thing literally I can't cope with. I know that everyone does this from time to time, it's not just an autistic thing but some people you have to watch everything you're saying because they take everything you say so literally.

Because of this I don't know half the time if I'm talking to autistic people or nt people. It's so flipping difficult and I've been in so much trouble in my life because I've had a joke and it's been taken seriously.

I think actually that autistic people maybe a little bit more inclined to try and work out what is meant to be literal and what is not because they are the ones who it's supposed to be an issue for but so called nt people just haven't got a clue on this problem. It's a f*****g nightmare man!

Some people say that people with ASD communicate in a very concrete way.
I don't think that is always true. Sometimes we are less concrete and this people not understand us.
ASD is not black n white. It is complex.

I meant most people who end up feeling that way after "communicating" with an "aspie" will hold the "aspie" to account for "making them" feel that way. So then they stop sharing much with us, and we then see it as them being obtuse. So yeah, in effect, that's what happens.

That sounds like Catch 22 where we can never get out of the difficulty

I know that I make a lot of people feel stupid because I generally know the answer to everything. So I have to restrain myself from showing that I do because that makes them feel even more stupid, so then I censor myself more and they know it so they feel I'm patronising them...and so it goes on...

Oh yes, I go off on tangents All. The. Time. And totally confuse people because they can't follow my trains of thought and connections I make.

I like to watch The Big Bang Theory because I often learn stuff from Sheldon. Yesterday he asked Raj if the situation was awkward because of Reason A and not Reason B. He was so happy that he guessed right and it was Reason A. So I do that sometimes, I ask my husband which reason made a thing happen.

I usually think out loud here and forget that there are different people from all over the world from all different walks or life, backgrounds, cultures and beliefs, so what I hear people in my life saying about something may not be the belief of people outside my social circle so can come across as offensive even though it isn't to me or to my social circle.

I read somewhere that people are more likely to unintentionally offend people on the internet than in real life, and it's true for me. I could hear 100 people agree on the same opinion, then I could parrot the same opinion to strangers online and it could be really offensive to some. That is usually what happens with me. I'm a bit thick with some things and I tend to only go by what I hear from my family and friends (my social circle).

It's just easier for me not to offend people offline. I hardly ever do, maybe once or twice a decade or something. I remember unintentionally offending a woman at a volunteer job about 13 years ago or more, because I called children brats and forgot that she had children herself and she didn't speak to me after that. I do wish people wouldn't take things like that so personally though. I didn't really mean all children are brats, I was just expressing frustration at the time because children kept wrecking the display I spent so much time setting up each day. I didn't mean it against anyone's child personally. But I still wish I hadn't said it. So I've learnt not to show any negative feelings about children when around parents with young children.

That is the problem with social media:

Thoughts are thoughts. They are quick, fleeting things blowing through our minds and are not meant to be written down. Personally I've found that if I write a fleeting thoguht down, months or years later somone comes across it, gets offended and starts attacking me, even though I've completely forgotten what on earth I meant. Because it was a fleeting thought.

One day humans will stop writing thoughts down and we'll go back to just thinking them.

Yes, about children. Thank you for realising it's not nice to say anything negative about children without good reason. Personally, I went through a horrendous pregnancy, it nearly killed me, obviously childbirth pushing a part of myself out of my vagina, and then nurtured and cared for that part. Can you imagine what a huge, huge, huge effort it took me to do all of that for all those months? And then some random person comes along and casually criticises my child, which is part of me. That's why parents, particularly mothers, get so upset. The baby is part of us and something we nearly died making. It's like the random person is just dismissing something that we threw our whole heart, soul and body into. The most important thing in our lives.

I remember my aunt used to use the word brat a lot, even though she had a kid herself but she wasn't really keen on kids in general. I remember one time she said "I don't want brats jumping about all over my furniture". I got upset because I was a kid myself, but when I said to my mum, she told me that my aunt didn't mean it against me personally, it was just how she was feeling at the time. When people are just ranting it is best to take it with a pinch of salt and let them get their feelings out.

It's like when I'm in a crowded place and I think "I hate people!" It doesn't mean I hate every person on the planet. It just means I hate crowds.

Yes yes and yes! That sums up what we said on the other thread isn't it. Sometimes people say extreme things when they are angry/upset.

How nice and neat, we've gone full circle!

Yes, that's what I was going to put but I thought it might sound passive-aggressive or something, but it isn't.

Yes - that is it for me - doing it in real time.

NTs have this implemented In hardware - I have to simulate In software.