Competing against me!

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Heya Jamesy, Long time.

For what it's worth, every friendship group I was on the periphery of (I can thing of several since highschool) there was always that one guy who never quite clicked with me.

In life you have to manage working around that person (whether it be a workgroup, sports club, volunteer group or friendship group).

Groups are funny, a little like family, you can't always be friends with everyone. Now, from what I can see, this guy works fulltime and volunteers. He has probably been bought up by his parents to be "wise" with money. He values competitiveness and probably is prone to social comparison. Does that make him bad? based on the profile you provided he fits the all the criteria of that type of person. Nothing special.

Just don't give him space to live "rent free" in your mind Jamesy. You have bigger fish to fry. Actually learn from this dude, take what is useful from what he says, discard what his useless (a Confucian proverb). Perhaps learn to save your money, that's useful advice. Perhaps also practice some common sense, if he asks you about your finances, tell him something vague, like you are managing ok. If he probes just diplomatically change the subject.

He's harmless unless there's something you are not saying. Perhaps he does look down on you? but who cares, its not something you can control. Does he spread rumours to your other mates? does he make moves on females you talk to? If that's so then its up to them to make up their own minds. People who are easily swayed to dislike a person based "he said she said" aren't friendship material to begin with. It's not always easy to find cool, chill people.

So, it is what it is! that's how social dynamics work. You always get that one annoying person. You need to manage your emotions and practice common sense, minimise your contact with him and spend more time with the other friends in your group.

He's got into your mind Jamesy. I acknowledge if you invested a lot in your friendships then its not fair somebody you perceive is trying to break this up can make you feel unhappy. But you have to be the bigger man, this dude is a "cookie cutter type" and sounds like he follows the program. Don't be embarrassed. Stand up for yourself.

In the guys defence he did say at the pub a month or 2 ago that “I am a popular man”

Is it possible that he's just trying to fit into the group?

Oh right so now you're painting a different scene

^^^ Good advice also Jamesy.