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They're in denial. They have the issue and cannot reconcile themselves with the unavoidable result.

Why is Uranus so far from Earth?

Because Uranus has a bad gas problem. It's better for everyone's sake it doesn't get too close to the sun let alone Earth.

You're playing golf. On your first swing, the golf ball flies high then knocks out some innocent bystander. The golf ball is stuck in his eye socket. Do you play through?

The golf rules are unclear on this, but the usual convention is to call that a hole in zero.

How are smoke detectors helpful if 99% of the time it's a false alarm?

If 99% of the time it's a false alarm, you just have to take the negation of a current smoke detector state. If it's indicating smoke, everything is fine; if it's not indicating smoke, there is fire. Then you're right 99% of the time.

There was this song about 723934 ultramarine bottles stading on the wall, but I can't remember how it went:
723934 ultramarine bottles stading on the wall,
723934 ultramarine bottles stading on the wall,
and then one ultramarine bottle... ?

Became an ultrasailer bottle standing on the wall

What is a good cartoon for Autistics to watch, and why?

Problem Solverz. It's ugly characters, overstimulating colors, and epilepsy inducing visuals are pleasing to the eyes of autistics of all ages.

Why is licking doorknobs illegal on other planets?

Other planets realize doorknobs do not like being licked.

What will be the most dramatic astronomical phenomena this decade?

The sun will sprout a face and sing opera.

What is the first rule of Waffle House After Hours Fight Club?

Do not throw the syrup at each other or you will be in a sticky situation.

Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?

Just follow the trail of sesame seed buns.

What if Waldo and Carmen Sandiego went on a date?

They tried to once, but they never found each other. Now they both have cell phones so they'd like to try again, but the FBI won't let them--if they put their minds together they might never be seen again.

What is pie? I mean, what truly is it?

The ratio of the average diameter of an oval to its circumference multiplied by Euler's constant.
Or...without a lid = tart

If a cross channel ferry departs for the Hook at 6:15 and maintains an average speed of 5 knots, how many rings will show when it's captain is cut in half??

It wouldn't make it that far due to pirates.

What?!

Asparagus. Sometimes rhubarb.

What recipes can I make with roasted pencils?

They'll make a great substitute for pretzel sticks.

I'm thinking about stuffing our Christmas stockings with quesadillas. What do you suggest?

I suggest you got it backwards. Try stuffing your quesadillas with Christmas stockings.

What is the tallest fish?