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Kjas
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08 May 2013, 9:19 pm

^^^
Personally I don't get it that often. Unfortunately - when I do get it, it tends to be the very aggressive and forceful type that Tarabrae described that won't take no for an answer and will simply keep pushing until another male intervenes - and that will insult you repeatedly, or simply ignore you speaking at all and keep pushing, when you give them an answer they don't like.

Most men are too scared to approach or are simply uninterested - or will only do it in a club.
Which means that the ones who do are more likely to be self-entitled or arrogant.
Certainly I do know some that simply hit on every single pretty girl they see - it's kind of a game to them.

Actually that happened last Friday. I had to go to the doctors and put on a very old skirt that I got when I was 13 that I didn't think anything of, with flip flops and a tank top because it was very warm that day. It was enough for some random to come up and do that to me - luckily an acquaintance of mine was passing by just by chance, and stopped the guy.


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Gazelle
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08 May 2013, 10:05 pm

A woman should dress appropriately for the occasion and so for work dress in a professional manner. When going on a date dress in a classy, yet feminine fashion. There is a difference between dressing like a hooker and dressing sexy yet feminine.

Sometimes it is too much to see females in their teens and early 20's dress in such short dresses or skirts. In the case of a female wearing skimpy clothes it is good to have the figure for it at least.

I am most comfortable not dressing too skimpy and aim to dress professional for work and then feminine and not too skimpy for a date, etc.

Sometimes women who dress sexy do like attention from men, just not overt and aggressive attention.


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revolutionarygirl
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09 May 2013, 6:53 pm

Do women really get propositioned that often? It makes me wonder who is doing all this propositioning. There must be some guys out there who hit on every pretty girl they see and don't get discouraged after hundreds of rejections.[/quote]

I've had men yell at me from cars before, without wearing anything in particular. Some guys are just jerks.



LKL
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09 May 2013, 7:06 pm

ShamelessGit wrote:
Tarabrae wrote:
The problem with "but if women dress up nice that must mean they want attention, and shouldn't complain when they get it" arguement is that there is a world of difference between someone coming up and politely saying hello, and someone coming up and trying to grope your arse, or saying "hey there, how about it?". Or my personal favourite - some random guy coming up to you, ignoring whatever you are already doing to proposition you, and then getting aggro and insulting when you say "not interested", accusing you of being some kind of tease (for just standing there, presumably), and then ranting n about how you probably aren't that good anyway....


That sounds rather unpleasant.

Tarabrae wrote:
From her point of view you are just some strange man who is interrupting her so you can see if she is open to having sex with you. And she probably already had to deal with that today, and yesterday, and most of the week, actually.


Do women really get propositioned that often? It makes me wonder who is doing all this propositioning. There must be some guys out there who hit on every pretty girl they see and don't get discouraged after hundreds of rejections.

Yes. When you're in your late teens and 20's, it happens ALL THE TIME. You can't freaking go to the supermarket in jeans and a tshirt without some random guy hitting on you.



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09 May 2013, 7:07 pm

^ Doesn't happen to me anymore. I did put on weight, though. Even now that I'm losing weight, it doesn't happen. I dress a bit more androgynous now, as well, I guess - so that's probably it. I get hit on in gay bars and at punk concerts.


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CaroleTucson
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07 Jul 2013, 10:32 am

This discussion has no doubt been going on since the beginning of time. I'm sure there were cave men who exclaimed in frustration, "If you didn't want me to look, then why did you dress like that?"

We do want you to look. We just don't want you to act like boorish, testosterone-crazed animals. Young women who are still discovering and learning about their sexuality will dress provocatively as a way to "test the waters", to see what will happen, and also because hey, appealing to men can go to your head. Male attention can be intoxicating. Later, as a woman matures, she gets better at gauging how to dress so as to give the impression she wants to give, and not to show off so much.

Men do the same thing, although it manifests differently. They preen and show off in hopes of attracting female attention. So what's the big deal?

I don't really see any problem with all this, unless someone uses it as an excuse for improper behavior. In particular, putting the blame for sexual assault on the victim because of the way she was dressed or whatever is beyond absurd, and thankfully no longer tolerated in most cases.



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07 Jul 2013, 1:50 pm

For the record if I wore shorts on the bus and some perverted woman were to take a glimpse I wouldnt mind I would probably be oblivious at first but if it was to too long I would probably get uncomfortable and be afraid to stand up with a possible erection. It gets very embarressing whenever that happens.


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EmberEyes
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07 Jul 2013, 3:18 pm

I don't know if there is a special male fetish pertaining to fat women nearing their 40's wearing work boots, loose cargo/work pants and hi-viz vests over loose, long-sleeved Tees and a backpack, going to/from work. Because I get propositioned all the time, and I am about as wide as I am tall, and as far as I know, I don't emote any 'I'm sexxy, come get me!'-vibe. Or maybe a certain type of man just think that if a woman is fugly enough, she'll be grateful and welcome any crude and inane come-on, and be happy to hump them just to get humped?

I believe men in general are quite capable to behave in apropriate ways, but I also think a lot of men have either not been taught what is apropriate, or 'peer pressured' into behaving like primates in heat.



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07 Jul 2013, 10:15 pm

I think that the posts in this thread in which men have stated that it is difficult or impossible to control themselves when seeing a woman in revealing clothing are rubbish, and they're just making excuses for unacceptable behavior.

The onus is not on women to dress "appropriately" to discourage or not encourage attention. The onus should be on men to behave like civilized human beings.

Focusing on whether it's okay for a woman to wear a particular article of clothing entirely misses the point.



EmoGlambertAspie
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08 Jul 2013, 1:03 am

Verdandi wrote:
I think that the posts in this thread in which men have stated that it is difficult or impossible to control themselves when seeing a woman in revealing clothing are rubbish, and they're just making excuses for unacceptable behavior. The onus is not on women to dress "appropriately" to discourage or not encourage attention. The onus should be on men to behave like civilized human beings. Focusing on whether it's okay for a woman to wear a particular article of clothing entirely misses the point.


I agree 10000% on this and as another post said it's demeaning. Likely made up by the same douchebags who will stare open-mouthed at a woman and make comments with their girlfriend or wife right there and say "It's a guy thing!" to excuse themselves (and make themselves feel better) while also making their significant other look stupid for being upset.


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Verdandi
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08 Jul 2013, 1:28 am

It amazes me that men would use such a dehumanizing excuse. Men are not primitive apes incapable of controlling their urges. They're just as human and just as capable of controlling themselves as women.



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08 Jul 2013, 3:32 am

EmberEyes wrote:
I don't know if there is a special male fetish pertaining to fat women nearing their 40's wearing work boots, loose cargo/work pants and hi-viz vests over loose, long-sleeved Tees and a backpack, going to/from work. Because I get propositioned all the time, and I am about as wide as I am tall, and as far as I know, I don't emote any 'I'm sexxy, come get me!'-vibe. Or maybe a certain type of man just think that if a woman is fugly enough, she'll be grateful and welcome any crude and inane come-on, and be happy to hump them just to get humped?


Interesting. Some men are indeed attracted to fat women, but probably not enough men to explain this happening "all the time". More likely, if you look a bit like a construction worker (work boots, work pants, hi-viz vest) and the man is one himself he might assume you can be treated like "one of the guys" and not like a lady. That's just a guess - I'm an office worker myself, so I have no experience in such an environment.

Also, body and dress are not everything - don't underestimate the importance of a woman's face to men. You posted a photo of your face before and I think most guys would agree you're a loooong way from "fugly"!

I guess if you really wanted to find out what makes them proposition you, you could ask. If you do that before making it clear you're not interested you'll probably get an answer, too.

Anyway, sorry for the off-topic.



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08 Jul 2013, 3:46 am

[off-topic]

FMX wrote:
EmberEyes wrote:
I don't know if there is a special male fetish pertaining to fat women nearing their 40's wearing work boots, loose cargo/work pants and hi-viz vests over loose, long-sleeved Tees and a backpack, going to/from work. Because I get propositioned all the time, and I am about as wide as I am tall, and as far as I know, I don't emote any 'I'm sexxy, come get me!'-vibe. Or maybe a certain type of man just think that if a woman is fugly enough, she'll be grateful and welcome any crude and inane come-on, and be happy to hump them just to get humped?


Interesting. Some men are indeed attracted to fat women, but probably not enough men to explain this happening "all the time". More likely, if you look a bit like a construction worker (work boots, work pants, hi-viz vest) and the man is one himself he might assume you can be treated like "one of the guys" and not like a lady. That's just a guess - I'm an office worker myself, so I have no experience in such an environment.

Also, body and dress are not everything - don't underestimate the importance of a woman's face to men. You posted a photo of your face before and I think most guys would agree you're a loooong way from "fugly"!

I guess if you really wanted to find out what makes them proposition you, you could ask. If you do that before making it clear you're not interested you'll probably get an answer, too.

Anyway, sorry for the off-topic.

Actually, it's never 'my guys' who proposition, it's always some random man pretty average (as in jeans and a tee or sweater, not a 'suit' or 'construction-worker') walking along the street of my bus-stop (smack in the center of town by a shopping mall, not anywhere near 'hooker lane'), could be anyone really.
If it's one of 'my guys', I just take it for what it is, a joke, and give as good as I get. (We get pretty crude and harsh among each other, but never mean anything with it. )
And to say it happens all the time (like every day) was a bit of an overstatement, maybe once per month or so is closer to the truth. Still I think it is more oftan than warrented, compared to other female aquantances with great bodies who do wear more revealing clothes and do the whole make-up, hair-fixing, high-heels etc.
[/end off-topic]



The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Jul 2013, 6:27 am

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So is it really equality or have modern women been groomed by the fashion industry into dressing the way men want them to under the clever guise of gender equality?


No, the fashion industry offers what's in demand.



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08 Jul 2013, 10:07 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
So is it really equality or have modern women been groomed by the fashion industry into dressing the way men want them to under the clever guise of gender equality?


No, the fashion industry offers what's in demand.


The fashion industry, like the auto industry, lives by creating demand and by convincing us that what we have is "outdated". But you don't generate headlines by designing comfortable, modest, everyday things to wear. You generate headlines by being outrageous. It should be called the "outrageous industry."



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09 Jul 2013, 12:35 am

CaroleTucson wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Quote:
So is it really equality or have modern women been groomed by the fashion industry into dressing the way men want them to under the clever guise of gender equality?


No, the fashion industry offers what's in demand.


The fashion industry, like the auto industry, lives by creating demand and by convincing us that what we have is "outdated". But you don't generate headlines by designing comfortable, modest, everyday things to wear. You generate headlines by being outrageous. It should be called the "outrageous industry."



This might be partly true, but they're knowing what instinct buttons are pushing, the demand isn't created by Fashion from scratch.