Myths and Legends Two Thousand Years from Now

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Fragmented reports of a strange country called Eagleland, which existed long in Earth's past, have been uncovered. Children regularly had psychic powers, wielded baseball bats, frying pans, and rocket launchers, and hamburgers cost $12 a piece.

Once there was an ancient country called Neverland.

Fairies, pirates, and crocodiles, lived there, and mansions and miniature trains were built for the residents.

Apparently ‘moonwalking ‘ was a popular activity, but no spacecraft has yet been discovered in the ancient ruins.

In Japan, there were special places called cat cafes, where you could relax among lots of cats. A cat lover who went by the name IstominFan once went there during the Olympic Games in Tokyo after watching a match between Nadal and Istomin. This story was unbelievable to her. She couldn't believe how lucky she was.

A man from Switzerland would become a tennis "Maestro" and win 20 Major championships.

Another young player, a Spaniard would win 16 major championships, ten of them at the French Open alone.

Tennis was dominated by men from countries with names beginning with "S."

On ancient Earth, a country or continent named Merica elected a leader who was a former actor.

Though many citizens were dismayed, he won them over with his charm and acting ability.

Many years later, citizens elected a real estate developer/television personality.

A year later, the only thing people liked about him was his wife.

The ancient society known as Kah-Na-Dah had a strange religion where they would perform rituals by beating long curved sticks on frozen water during the cold period. It is believed by many archeologists that this was done to pacify the frost god Tim-Hor-Ton. They would then drink a peculiar mixture of ground beans, heated water, and a white liquid squeezed from a horned creature with the name of their god engraved on their goblets, which may have been part of a a spiritual cleansing.

They also subsisted on a thin liquid substance extracted from the sap of a tree. Because the substance was mainly sugar water, scientists believe it was to help them survive the extreme cold of their once-brutal climate and go for long periods without other foods. It is also possible that these ancient people had an unusually high metabolism, and like the now long-extinct hummingbird, needed it for their survival.

They also worshiped a large, hairy rodent with a paddle-like tail, which they believed would protect them from severe flooding by controlling water levels. The Kah-Nah-Dans were so deeply afraid of rivers, creeks and other swiftly moving bodies of water that they damned them, and were grateful when their rodents guardians did the same thing.

In an ancient society known as Merrikah, most households had electronic devices which controlled the beliefs of entire families; these were known as TeeeVeees.

Due to the influence of these mind-bending machines, a clan of biologically- connected individuals became wealthy, influential, and worshipped among some of society ‘s sub-groups.

This clan/ family were called ‘ Cardasheeans’ and it has not been discovered what any of them ever did to merit such adulation.

The only one who seems to have gotten an education and title and job was the patriarch, whose prime accomplishment was apparently enabling an accused murderer avoid imprisonment.

There are legends from long ago about a mysterious time-travelling alien named John Smith who saved the earth many, many times and traveled through time and space in a blue box. Archaeological digs have discovered many copies of the blue box in a land once called Britain.

A player from a country which was part of another country formerly known as Yugoslavia came to challenge the Swiss and the Spaniard, turning the most famous rivalry into a "trivalry." For a brief time, a man from Scotland joined them, but his results were not as impressive as those of the other three men. He has disappeared largely from sight lately and his status is uncertain.

The 31 year old Russian from Uzbekistan made the final in Austria on clay, commonly considered his weakest surface. Once again, Denis played spectacular tennis and defied the opinions of those who said it couldn't be done.

Another Denis, a Canadian teenager, rose rapidly up the tennis ranks. "Shapo," as he is nicknamed, is known for his long hair and his quickness on court.

A young teenage tennis player with a Greek father and a Russian mother is taking Toronto by storm on the courts. Stefanos Tsitipas is moving on the courts like a cat, surprising everyone.

Once, a 20-year old man from Spain emerged to beat Andre Agassi.

Twelve years later, a 20 year old Greek man was beaten by the 32 year old Rafael Nadal.

Rafael Nadal finds a way to win!

A mildly obscure planet, Urth, only had one moon.
Known for periodic mass starvation, this planet’s scientists and space exploration seem to have been hopeless failures.
This is because our own brilliant scientists have proven absolutely that this moon of theirs was indisputably comprised of green cheese, possibly Limburger.
No one needed to go hungry, ever.

Researchers are still mystified by what factors precipitated the late Silicon Age collapse.

One theory postulates that the collapse was caused by a deadly virus spread by a cult dedicated to Corona. Cult members would ingest a toxic elixir called a lager to infect themselves and then spread it to others. A popular, but ineffective, protective ward at the time was to ingest small pods collected on beaches during low Tide. The common burial practice of time, wrapping the dead in a special cloth paper called toilet was disrupted by shortages of the special paper caused by the chaos and worsened the instability.

The death of a legendary leader of the time may have contributed to the instability. The leader is often referred to as the Tiger King. Scholars have reconstructed his personal name as Kim Joe-ex. The exact date of his or her death is unknown due to conflicting reports of death at different time periods throughout the late period. Their death and the assassination of the religious figure Harambe may have caused a great upheaval of the social order of the time.

A final theory revolves around a single term of unknown origin with possible sinister connotations. It's could be the name of a political organization, a terrorist group, a catastrophic event, a rallying cry.... The word is:

COVFEFE

Researchers believe that this desolated rock was 1ce a planet populated by great apes. The alpha ape kept fighting with other apes for complete & total superiority. The apes invented various weapons to use for their fighting one of which was so powerful that it killed all life on this 1ce thriving planet.