Do you have friends?

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I've always felt like the NT's don't offer a large selection of potential friends to choose from
They are all highly influenced by society's standards and are loath to question them. They cannot converse about any subject that requires divergent thinking, which seems to be just about everything that's interesting.

So what would an ideal friend be like?

Someone that dares to think outside the lines drawn by society. A rare person. Perhaps that is an unfair expectation, but anything else is small talk and a waste of time.

However, problem solving does require a controlled diversion to prevent fixating, but you have to be in control of the on-off switch. That would be treating them like an appliance - not good for most friendships.

Ideally they would also be the much sought after friend with a sexual benefit, but since I treat sex like I treat conversation and don't want to waste time with small talk - it would be a really rare person that could put up with me.

And that's why I don't have friends

BTW: Any one here love "Joe versus the Volcano" ?

I used to have two. Now neither of them are talking to me anymore.

As long as "friend" could be described as "person I share a common interest with" or "person I enjoy hanging out with on occassion" then making friends is fairly easy for me.

If by "friend" you only mean "person I can trust" or "person I confide in" those are much more difficult to find.

I honestly consider both sorts my friends, but the latter is much rarer than the former.....

Although it's hard to make friends with a specific person.
There are often people attracted to me.We will be friends for a while.

Because I often talk too much out of excitement and interrupt them when they're busy, I lose most of them.
Only people who are really interested in most of what I'm talking about will stay.

Used to have two. Exceptional friends , amazingly lifelong, that I grew up with, and by not trying to associate too much . Except important stuff . Got help in my societal interactions , they were precious then they died ,
This did not include my late husband , he was the dearest friend . Now they are gone, but oddly enough after a
Long hiatus of sorting people 13- 14 yrs. Then recently maybe have found 1 possibly two new ones. Plus am working on 2 others
Kinda understand about the idea of someone saying that things like that may very well be a work in progress .

I have a friend from childhood, who I care about a lot. We share common interests, but also care about each other as people.

Another friend I hike with--we have some common interests, but mostly appreciate each other as individuals.

And two older women I haven't seen in a while, but used to walk with. Not many common interests, but we also respect and enjoy each other as individuals. They were great to share life experience with.

^I was thinking in real life. I should add that I have two great penpals who I met here. Having people of different backgrounds to talk about ASD (and life) with is invaluable.

I have two friends that originated in an intense common interest and have very slowly grown from there to the point we care about and shown interest in each other. One I have shared my diagnosis with and that went OK in general and should help in future as he will afford me more leeway in terms of weird behaviour and not getting in touch for a period. I should add that I don't see them very often. Mainly communicate on WhatsApp and send memes and jokes to each other. See one c 3-4 times a year. The other lives near me so see them maybe once a month at best, where we do our hobby together.

Something interesting at work is that a person I did a day of interviews with for some reason disclosed to me that they have adhd. We subsequently had some conversations about neurodiversity and then she said she was moving to another firm for a new job, and so have talked about my autism too as she won't be a colleague so not a risky thing to do anymore. Not a friend but nice to speak to someone about ND experiences and issues in the workplace and who might be allies and enemies in the firm on that basis.

Have made some friends here ….

No, currently I do not have someone that I would call "friend". I have acquaintances at work that I am friendly with but that's only superficial. I think the main reason is that I have rarely met people that I felt I could truly relate to without having to put on an act. Perceiving and being impacted by the world so very differently than the vast majority of people just makes it hard to connect..

Looking at the bright side though, now that I understand myself better, I can actually seek out people that are more like me

I may have said this before:
Who needs a friend when you have Google?