29 Nov 2020, 5:02 am
QFT wrote:
Pepe wrote:
QFT wrote:
beady wrote:
Multiple aspie men on this website have good relationships with prostitutes.
In either case, I don't see any point in it. Its clearly not love. If the prostitute was in love she wouldn't be seeing all those other men.
No offence intended, but your position sounds rather naive.
I have no intention of ever falling in *romantic* luv, ever again, but yes, I still do enjoy being with a woman.
A company of a woman without love would be a friendship. But in case of prostitution its not even a friendship, in case of prostitution you are just her client.
Not accurate.
We used to go out to social events.
QFT wrote:
As far as female friendship I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I have to accept the fact that she doesn't see me as datable, which hurts my ego.
I have virtually no ego, to speak of.
I was interested in experience and becoming comfortable with sexuality.
Both were obtained.
Also, it was a nice distraction, and something to look forward to.
QFT wrote:
But on the other hand, I get to interact with a female that genuinely cares about me, which is something I need.
If you find someone, good luck to you, but there are no guarantees.
My situation was complicated because of the 25 years of gang-stalking I had to endure.
The woman I was with was also a victim of gang-stalking, so we could relate.
QFT wrote:
So I guess in the context when there is some other reason why a woman can't date me besides my Asperger, I welcome female friendship. But if it feels like she won't date me because of my Asperger or one of the things I take personally, then I don't like it.
The interesting thing, in my case, is I was convinced the woman was on the spectrum, also, hence a large part of the attraction.
QFT wrote:
But in any case, prostitution is not friendship so none of it applies there. Whatever positives the friendship carries, simply don't apply to prostitution.
I found the situation, while not perfect, satisfying. YMMV.
QFT wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Romantic luv has been designed, by evolution, for the procreation process.
I see you purposely used the word evolution to trigger me
Nope. How so?
I always talk this way. Ask "anyone".
QFT wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Producing a child is one of my worst nightmares,
To me, producing a child is one of the ultimate things I need due to self validation. Because you see, if you don't produce a child then your genes die out. So then its like a eugenics program where they decided to eliminate your genes because, as an aspie, your genes are undesirable. Do you really want to accept it? If not, then you should have children.
Had I known what I was getting into, in being born, I was have avoided being conceived.
You seem to value this life system.
I don't.
QFT wrote:
Pepe wrote:
but I still enjoy the company.
Prostitution is not really a company. You are just your client. She doesn't care about you as a person. She just wants your pay.
That wasn't the case in my case.
QFT wrote:
Pepe wrote:
No, QFT, you don't have to be in luv with a person, to be intimate.
Well, you need *either* love *or* friendship in order for it to count. With prostitution you don't have either.
As I said, I needed to sort out some very big sexual hangups.
I have, and it allowed me to grow and move on. YMMV.
QFT wrote:
Pepe wrote:
QFT wrote:
And besides, one obvious reason why so many men on this board, specifically, would have relationsihip with a prostitute is because, due to Asperger, nobody likes them, except for said prostututes.
I had no social skills and had major sexual hangups. Seeing sex workers, and one in particular, helped me to overcome these problems.
Aren't there other ways to learn social skills? Like, instead of paying that money to a prostitute, pay it to speech therapist for example.
It was a fun way to get over my sexual anxiety.
My speech has "always" been fine, btw.
QFT wrote:
As far as sexual hangups, I just don't see why it is so important. If you were to say that girls don't like you because of this and you want to win their love, then I can see it as sort of a means to an end. But since you said you just gave up on girls (the other thing I disagree with) then whats even the point?
As I said. My situation was complicated by being gang-stalked. I was never going to be in a situation where I was going to find luv and have children.
I gave up the idea of finding a significant other when I was 29.
I *never* wanted kids.
This life system is fracked. Why would I want to do that to them?
QFT wrote:
Pepe wrote:
I don't know why you have a problem with that, unless you are using a man-made religious context.
I'm an atheist, so religious dogma/indoctrination has no influence on me.
I'm an atheist, so religious dogma/indoctrination has no influence on me.
I became Christian when I was 22. Before then I was an atheist. But I was against abortion and against prostitution all my life. So to me its not even tied to religion. Although I can see how religion can further confirm it.
Your life.
Your choice. {shrug}
QFT wrote:
I never said I am secular. I said "from secular point of view". These are two completely different things. The phrase "from secular point of view" means that I don't utilize my Christian beliefs in this particular argument. I still have the Christian beliefs I just don't utilize them. Just like, by the same token, I also don't utilize what I know about quantum field theory. I still know quantum field theory I am just not utilizing it. So basically the statement "I am going to go to the store to buy such and such" is a secular statement. But I can still make that statement while being a Christian. Because that statement doesn't deny Christianity, it just doesn't touch upon it. And that is precisely what I mean when I say "secular statement" or "from secular point of view". As a Christian I can still make some argument that doesn't mention Christianity, so that argument is secular but I am still a Christian.
You are obviously influenced by your childhood conditioning, not to be as broadminded as me, whatever the case.
Social morality, in some things we are discussing here, is simply arbitrary.
QFT wrote:
Pepe wrote:
You don't need others to self-validate you.
I have an internal locus of identity, which is self-validation that is always with me and not dependant on others.
I have an internal locus of identity, which is self-validation that is always with me and not dependant on others.
But doesn't your self esteem get hurt when you see people being close to each other (whether friendship or intimate) and you see yourself missing out?
My self-esteem gives me strength in coping with bad situations.
And I mean that profoundly.
The only person you can truly depend on is yourself.
29 Nov 2020, 5:18 am
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