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DH Rider
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17 Oct 2023, 10:13 pm

I read Unmasking Autism a few weeks ago and yet I'm already oblivious to what I'd just read, including the following quote (see what I did there? I tied this into the title of the thread. boom. :P )

“Interestingly, adults are only shamed for having an obsessive interest if that interest is a bit too “strange,” and doesn’t come with the opportunity to rack up a lot of achievements or make a lot of money. People who routinely complete eighty-hour workweeks aren’t penalized for being obsessive or hyperfixated; they’re celebrated for their diligence. If an adult fills their evenings after work learning to code or creating jewelry that they sell on Etsy, they’re seen as enterprising. But if someone instead devotes their free time to something that gives them pleasure but doesn’t financially benefit anyone, it’s seen as frivolous or embarrassing, even selfish. In this instance, it’s clear that the punishing rules imposed on Autistic children reflect a much broader societal issue: pleasure and nonproductive, playful time are not valued, and when someone is passionate about the “wrong” things, that passion is discouraged because it presents a distraction from work and other “respectable” responsibilities.”
― Devon Price, Unmasking Autism



Mountain Goat
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18 Oct 2023, 5:07 am

How oblivious am I to what?

What is the topic about?

I do get told I am oblivious to women who try to flirt with me but as I am only told that long after the event it is pointless telling me.

My Mum says I am oblivious but when I do catch on (Usually when she points it out) she says I am caring and considerate. Is this being oblivious?



vividgroovy
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19 Oct 2023, 9:24 pm

DH Rider wrote:
I read Unmasking Autism a few weeks ago and yet I'm already oblivious to what I'd just read, including the following quote (see what I did there? I tied this into the title of the thread. boom. :P )

“Interestingly, adults are only shamed for having an obsessive interest if that interest is a bit too “strange,” and doesn’t come with the opportunity to rack up a lot of achievements or make a lot of money. People who routinely complete eighty-hour workweeks aren’t penalized for being obsessive or hyperfixated; they’re celebrated for their diligence. If an adult fills their evenings after work learning to code or creating jewelry that they sell on Etsy, they’re seen as enterprising. But if someone instead devotes their free time to something that gives them pleasure but doesn’t financially benefit anyone, it’s seen as frivolous or embarrassing, even selfish. In this instance, it’s clear that the punishing rules imposed on Autistic children reflect a much broader societal issue: pleasure and nonproductive, playful time are not valued, and when someone is passionate about the “wrong” things, that passion is discouraged because it presents a distraction from work and other “respectable” responsibilities.”
― Devon Price, Unmasking Autism


I've experienced this kind of reaction to my interests. I'm going to quote this in another thread about entertainment franchises and how enjoying them for their own sake, rather than some grand societal purpose, seems to be frowned upon nowadays.



colliegrace
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22 Oct 2023, 7:10 am

One time I was on a plane. I was sitting in the window seat. I was asked if I would like to move to another seat. I said "no I like the window seat".
Later on, about halfway through the ride, I realized that the gentleman next to me had wanted to sit next to his wife. That's what they were trying to communicate with me when they asked me to move.

I felt bad, but it was too awkward to bring up at that point.


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Justme45
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23 Oct 2023, 1:01 pm

I am now 78 yrs old and got to about 66 before I had an inkling that I might be 'on the spectrum'. I was therefore totally oblivious to the reason why 99% of the rest of the world had always seen things differently to me for the previous 65 years.
It seems to me that you can only identify your problem areas if you are aware of the nature of the difference between you and the brainwashed sheep that we live amongst.
Hopefully, accepting my self diagnosis will help me to get a handle on this.
Would anyone like to suggest a suitable forum for a Dinosaur like me ?
( Newbie 23/10/23 ).



auntblabby
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23 Oct 2023, 1:19 pm

very, to things like fashion and politics/religion/current music.



Suicidal_Vampire
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23 Oct 2023, 2:30 pm

When people are lying as a joke, I never get it. I hate having to be on edge all the time because people think it's funny to mess with me. Like, even if someone is being sarcastic, I just accept things they say because, why wouldn't I? I always ham it up when I'm being sarcastic because I don't want anyone to misunderstand me.
I also doubt myself a lot, which leads to me staying in situations I should get out of, especially since I've been taught to ignore what is uncomfortable and just deal with it. So, yeah, I think that counts as oblivious.


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PhosphorusDecree
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27 Oct 2023, 6:48 pm

The only emotion I can reliably detect is anger. Which is a bit depressing.


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Mountain Goat
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27 Oct 2023, 6:59 pm

Many missed dating opportunities because I simply did not see what others saw when women flirted with me and I didn't notice! Why do those people who do notice tell me after the event when it is too late to do anything about it? Not that I would do anything about it though as I don't really know how to ask. I am out of my depth when it comes to things like that! :D