Fenn wrote:
Social skills are often a challenge for people on the spectrum. Two possibilities are hyper-sensitivity to other people’s feelings, and hypo-sensitivity to other people’s feelings. In one case the volume control knob is turned up way too high in the other it is turned down way to low. If you have no idea that your words hurt you might say hurtful things. On the other hand if things people say hurt you way more than the average person might be hurt you may overreact to people by comparison. Empathy is hard for many people on the autistic spectrum.
That being said, there is also PTSD and Narcissism. Some people who regularly post on this website seem to be driven more be PTSD and/or Narcissism than by garden variety autism. Empathy is also hard for people with PTSD and Narcissistic tendencies.
Some truth in that, so maybe there is an excuse sometimes for bad behaviour. That's probably why my first reaction is usually to try gentle criticism about their interpersonal style being needlessly snarky. After that, it's up to them. If empathy doesn't cut both ways, there's a risk that the one using empathy can become a punchbag for the one with the personality flaw.