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Fenn
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20 Nov 2024, 7:48 am

DeepHour wrote:
I'm too socially clueless to know whether I'm unpopular or not.

:? :lol:



LOL


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ToughDiamond
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15 Dec 2024, 9:00 pm

I think it's hard for a member to tell whether they're popular or not. Most posts are ignored as far as replying to them goes, though that doesn't mean nobody liked it. It's a shame there isn't a "like" button - people don't always have the time to post their appreciation in words. The reason I think there is a latent appreciation thing like that going on is that I've occasionally (though rarely) had messages from people saying they thought I'd posted some good stuff, and it's always surprised me because they'd never replied to the thread commending what I've written.

As for the few members who berate others here, it can be daunting to get attacked like that, especially if more than one person hits out at the same time, but they don't represent anybody but themselves and they're a tiny minority whose views aren't very important. If they had much wisdom they'd know better than to post hostile comments, because there's very rarely any excuse for it. It's always possible to express views in a benign, non-arrogant way.



Fenn
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16 Dec 2024, 8:55 am

Social skills are often a challenge for people on the spectrum. Two possibilities are hyper-sensitivity to other people’s feelings, and hypo-sensitivity to other people’s feelings. In one case the volume control knob is turned up way too high in the other it is turned down way to low. If you have no idea that your words hurt you might say hurtful things. On the other hand if things people say hurt you way more than the average person might be hurt you may overreact to people by comparison. Empathy is hard for many people on the autistic spectrum.

That being said, there is also PTSD and Narcissism. Some people who regularly post on this website seem to be driven more be PTSD and/or Narcissism than by garden variety autism. Empathy is also hard for people with PTSD and Narcissistic tendencies.

So…
It might be me, or it might be them.

But it does seem some people are more popular on Wrong Planet than others.


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MaxE
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16 Dec 2024, 9:57 am

Empathy for people with PTSD is difficult for autistic people who haven't themselves experienced it.


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ToughDiamond
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16 Dec 2024, 2:43 pm

Fenn wrote:
Social skills are often a challenge for people on the spectrum. Two possibilities are hyper-sensitivity to other people’s feelings, and hypo-sensitivity to other people’s feelings. In one case the volume control knob is turned up way too high in the other it is turned down way to low. If you have no idea that your words hurt you might say hurtful things. On the other hand if things people say hurt you way more than the average person might be hurt you may overreact to people by comparison. Empathy is hard for many people on the autistic spectrum.

That being said, there is also PTSD and Narcissism. Some people who regularly post on this website seem to be driven more be PTSD and/or Narcissism than by garden variety autism. Empathy is also hard for people with PTSD and Narcissistic tendencies.

Some truth in that, so maybe there is an excuse sometimes for bad behaviour. That's probably why my first reaction is usually to try gentle criticism about their interpersonal style being needlessly snarky. After that, it's up to them. If empathy doesn't cut both ways, there's a risk that the one using empathy can become a punchbag for the one with the personality flaw.



Fenn
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18 Dec 2024, 11:05 pm

MaxE wrote:
Empathy for people with PTSD is difficult for autistic people who haven't themselves experienced it.


I intended no offence. I apologize if I offended non-the-less.


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MaxE
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19 Dec 2024, 5:25 am

Fenn wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Empathy for people with PTSD is difficult for autistic people who haven't themselves experienced it.


I intended no offence. I apologize if I offended non-the-less.

That was about me not you. I have never been diagnosed with PTSD, therefore I don't feel that I can empathize properly with those who have.


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Fenn
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19 Dec 2024, 11:46 am

I keep coming back to Wrong Planet. I don't feel "in-with-the-in-crowd". I don't like the contention and conflict in the PPR threads, though I have opinions and beliefs. I have a hard time making friends IRL and often mask, which makes it easier to get along with people, but harder to feel close. There are some people here on WP who really rub me the wrong way and I cringe when they post. I try to be a good guy and contribute positively. I have a hard time feeling like people here are "friends" too, but I still keep coming back. We are all human. Some people I look forward to what they have to say here on WP. It seems like some people think the only point of posting is to hammer people who think differently, and I find that wearing.

People are hard.


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ADHD-I(diagnosed) ASD-HF(diagnosed)
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