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Make an extremely dark joke.

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ElmersTrueLove
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10 Jun 2024, 9:19 am

Redpaws wrote:
Mary had a little lamb.

The doctor fainted.


This one was oddly funny


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Redpaws
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11 Jun 2024, 8:20 am

I used to be chief executive of a large non-profit-making organisation, but they let me go.
We weren't supposed to be one.


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Awso070
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13 Jun 2024, 9:24 pm

Where did johnny go after getting lost in a minefield?
EVERYWHERE!


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Some may say I'm different, or weird, but I say, never give up. Some say I can't do it, or I'm too weak, but I say you can do anything you put your mind to. Some say freedom is only what you imagine, or isn't real, I say IF FREEDOM ISN'T REAL, THEN LETS FIGHT TO MAKE IT REAL! If you believe, do it! The only thing stopping you is yourself. This world will only be a better place if we make it a better place. So let's go out there, and make life what is should be, make it free, make it BETTER! WHO'S WITH ME?
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PineappleLobster
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13 Jun 2024, 10:05 pm

Awso070 wrote:
Where did johnny go after getting lost in a minefield?
EVERYWHERE!

Oh no johnny :lol:


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lostonearth35
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23 Jun 2024, 11:28 pm

Someone once accused me of gaslighting. I told him, "You're crazy!"



lostonearth35
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24 Jun 2024, 9:29 pm

ElmersTrueLove wrote:
Redpaws wrote:
Mary had a little lamb.

The doctor fainted.


This one was oddly funny


Mary had a little lamb,
A little pork, a little ham,
A little soda topped with fizz
And now how sick our Mary is! :eew:



lostonearth35
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27 Jun 2024, 11:00 am

A priest, a pedophile, and a serial rapist walked into a bar.

And that was just the first guy! 8O



ElmersTrueLove
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01 Jul 2024, 12:43 am

I was all over Bobby Darin when I was 17; he probably would have wanted me

(This is a true story and I say this everytime I think of those dark times)


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ElmersTrueLove
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01 Jul 2024, 12:45 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Have you heard Colleen Ballinger's apology song? I think she was playing in A minor.


Toxic Gossip Train

( everyone sing along )

Chuggin down the tracks of- misinformation


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Awso070
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01 Jul 2024, 1:21 am

I got 3 million dollars from a lottery. I decided to donate a quarter of it to a charity.
Now I have $2,999,999.75


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Some may say I'm different, or weird, but I say, never give up. Some say I can't do it, or I'm too weak, but I say you can do anything you put your mind to. Some say freedom is only what you imagine, or isn't real, I say IF FREEDOM ISN'T REAL, THEN LETS FIGHT TO MAKE IT REAL! If you believe, do it! The only thing stopping you is yourself. This world will only be a better place if we make it a better place. So let's go out there, and make life what is should be, make it free, make it BETTER! WHO'S WITH ME?
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funeralxempire
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04 Jul 2024, 3:59 pm

They're talking about using getting stoned to death as a punishment for taking fentanyl. I thought it was just a risk.


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funeralxempire
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04 Jul 2024, 4:00 pm

ElmersTrueLove wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Have you heard Colleen Ballinger's apology song? I think she was playing in A minor.


Toxic Gossip Train

( everyone sing along )

Chuggin down the tracks of- misinformation


I was just hoping to figure what key it was in. :nerdy:


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


Awso070
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04 Jul 2024, 6:30 pm

–————————–——————————
Warning: incredibly dark joke ahead
–————————–——————————
I have two jokes.

1. Have you ever seen a blind man swim? Here let me show you.

2. I would like to have kids one day.
I couldn't stand them for any longer than that though.


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Some may say I'm different, or weird, but I say, never give up. Some say I can't do it, or I'm too weak, but I say you can do anything you put your mind to. Some say freedom is only what you imagine, or isn't real, I say IF FREEDOM ISN'T REAL, THEN LETS FIGHT TO MAKE IT REAL! If you believe, do it! The only thing stopping you is yourself. This world will only be a better place if we make it a better place. So let's go out there, and make life what is should be, make it free, make it BETTER! WHO'S WITH ME?
Blog: My Blog


lostonearth35
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26 Jul 2024, 2:15 pm

The UN once made a survey where they asked all the different countries what their opinions were about food shortages in the rest of the world. The survey was a complete flop. Here are the reasons why:

African countries didn't know what "food" was.

European countries didn't know what "shortages" were.

The Middle East, Russia and China didn't know what "opinions" were.

And the USA didn't know what "the rest of the world" was.

:twisted:



lostonearth35
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27 Jul 2024, 2:21 am

Somebody asked me "If you were offered 50,000 dollars, but the person you hate the most would be given 100,000 dollars, would you still take the money?"

I said, "Sure, I don't mind getting 150,000 dollars."



funeralxempire
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30 Jul 2024, 5:27 pm

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Irishman are sentenced each to 100 lashes but as a mercy they're each allowed to pick something to be placed on their backs.

Paddy Englishman is first and when asked what he'd like on his back he just spits at his captor and says "nothing".

He's bound, whipped and in utter agony by the time it's over.

Paddy Scotsman is next and tells his captors he'd like whisky poured over his back because it's the finest antiseptic known to man.

He's bound, whipped and in utter agony by the time it's over.

Finally Paddy Irishman is up. The captors ask him what he'd like to have placed on his back. After a moment of thought Paddy Irishman responds:

Show Spoiler
Paddy Englishman.


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell