Bipolar/Aspergers support and chat thread

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Thought I'd check in here. Still not diagnosed with bipolar. I have all the symptoms though I'm rapid cycling. Going through a depressive episode at the moment, triggered by my current situation. The government wants to put pressure on welfare/disability by advancing a penalty system for not making appointments. I already think I'm going to lose my payment if I miss one appointment or am 10 minutes late.

Only symptoms I don't have is staying up late and I barely touch alcohol and don't take any drugs, basically so I don't make my symptoms worse. I have other health issues too. My chronic fatigue syndrome gets me a lot of crazy food reactions in which I'll feel sick and tired. It's also affecting my ability to work so all the pressure put on me by job agencies will probably lead me to a crash. So I don't actually want to live through this year.

I have mad social anxiety which doesn't help the paranoia symptoms.

Hey all, Im diagnosed Bipolar, but Im pretty sure asd fits better. Either way, ag the very least, I know i have a place on this thread

So I'm not bipolar, but I suspect I might be, my sister was diagnosed as being bipolar as my Aunt is also bipolar on my dad's side. I can't confirm if my Dad was bipolar, I can't ask him since he's gone :/ he didn't even know that he or his kids have Asperger's syndrome

Hello. I’m very new here. I was tested just this last Friday and was told I have signs of autism but I haven’t been diagnosed yet. Impatiently waiting! I have been diagnosed bi-polar and have severe social anxiety. I’ve tried a LOT of different prescriptions for bi-polar with every one making things worse. I get locked in my head like being in a dark closet and cannot function. At least off the drugs I feel present in my own body. Although the anxiety gets bad. I’ve been reading the forums and stories on WP and finally see what I’ve been thinking since I can remember. I see on this forum some of the strongest people who continual fight. It gives me hope. I have forgotten that feeling. Thank you for putting yourselves out here. It does help.

I have bipolar as well as a learning disability and autism.

Hi all, I'm a bit confused as to whether I would fit the criteria for bipolar or any kind of hypomania!

I am almost diagnosed with Asperger's, but I get major mood swings and have done throughout my life. When I was about13-16, I would have 1 month of lethargy and depression (which I didn't know was depression at the time) and one month of more energy, less anxiety and more pacing in my room, creativity and productivity, for another month. It alternated like this until I was about 17, where the depression became more prolonged and my happy symptoms came in shorter bursts, however I always struggled with sleep. In the better months, sometimes I could not sleep a night and go to school the next morning feeling relatively okay.

I can't do this anymore however! After a traumatic event at 18 the episodes of depression and the happy symptoms became more intense but in way shorter episodes, where I would experience mood swings in a day, where my perspective of the world would shift a lot. At this point, I still felt the need to stay awake with moments where I felt euphoric, but I still crashed and needed to sleep. Then I would sleep almost all day.

I don't usually do reckless things and am not impulsive usually, I don't drink, do drugs or smoke at all. However in my more energised moments where the depression is barely there, I am more talkative and feel the need to jump around and pace.
However these times don't last as long as they used to, perhaps not meeting the 4 day requirement for bipolar, but I still feel many of the symptoms. In my moments where I feel like I might be hypomanic, I don't feel like sleeping at all, play happy music on repeat, pace, feel like I can do anything I put my mind to, write a lot, feel more confident, and everything feels easier and lighter. I like myself more and it's as if all my worries have gone away, but I know they will come back. Then it can all crash and I feel miserable.

Does this sound like bipolar? I feel like I might be, but the only thing is I do need a lot of sleep, yet I still feel the need to pace and can feel like doing amazing things academically and have more self esteem in these moments. I just can't keep myself awake as easy. Does this mean it's not a hypomanic episode if I still need sleep and am not impulsive that much?

Thank you for any advice!! Any advice is appreciated!!

I have been diagnosed with Schizophrenia for twelve+ years. In the past, my sister has said that she thinks I have Asperger's Syndrome. I don't think I have it, unless it is being masked by my Schizophrenia...

I have been diagnosed with Asperger's several years ago after several outbursts in the workplace and a requirement to be evaluated medically. After getting into something I shouldn't have, learning stuff I shouldn't have, and talking to people I shouldn't have, I began my first manic episode in which I hallucinated several horrific things. The residual trauma 2 manic episodes later and 3 admissions to psych wards, the conclusion was that I had bipolar 1. Then less than 2 months ago, the new diagnosis was schizo-affective. It is absolute hell.

The doctors thought I had bipolar for a while, mostly because of my severe depressive spells, panic attacks, and anger/temper issues. This was before I was correctly diagnosed with high-functioning autism/Asperger's. I never have periods of extreme highs or positive feelings and never have. I am either just ok, kind of happy, depressed, or anxious. The bipolar diagnosis was mostly because my ex-husband (who actually is bipolar/schizophrenic) convinced me and my doctor that I had it. Because of that, I was on the wrong medication for a while. I do need meds, but for anxiety/depression.
Interestingly, I do have many of the characteristics of borderline personality disorder, but those really only manifest when I am in a romantic relationship. I tend to avoid getting involved in those now. I've had too many really, really bad experiences involving abuse, and it really just brings out the worst in me. Also my autism/social awkwardness and cluelessness in social situations makes it hard to connect to others. I also have social anxiety like many other Aspies.

I just got diagnosed bipolar a couple months ago. I've known I was autistic since age 9. Looking back I've always had periods of my life where I was hyperactive and extremely creative, and other times when I felt anhedonia, loss of motivation and always alongside OCD symptoms. I also realize now that a lot of my autistic meltdowns fit the criteria of mixed state episodes, and that's my social kryptonite. Like many people on the bipolar spectrum (and against Aspie stereotypes), I can be extremely outgoing and charismatic, until something triggers me and then I can get very "low-functioning", which neurotypicals tend to blame me for. I was terrified of bipolar disorder because of a tragedy in my family history, but now that I'm more self-aware I feel almost a sense of pride. I've always been a staunch neurodiversity advocate, and now that I know I have another stigma to fight, I'm gonna rise to the challenge.

First post. Hello.

I have been diagnosed with a constellation of mental health issues (schizoaffective and ptsd). From homicidal and suicidal ideation with several attempts to quitting my job and pretty much my career with a six word letter of resignation. I have taught roughly 1,000 students. I easily get overwhelmed with frustrations and sensory input. It hasn't always been this way though.

Bipolar diagnose.

I just read a book called Shadows Bright as Glass. It's about a guy who has a stroke and it seems like he lives in an almost constant manic state with small depressive blips between and he has no control over the depressive part but he has an outlet for the manic part, his art. So he lives constantly in his art trying to figure out something he can't quite figure out. I wondered if there could be some answers for this rollercoaster in there for us. It was a good read, really fascinating.

It got me thinking the following:
I too feel the obsessive need to create things or understand things always but especially in the manic state. In the depressive state I can feel as if myx perfectionism is almost crushing me and keeping me from getting to or started on my journey that is the creating/understanding?

Could it be possible in the manic state we are trying to figure out what our issues are and the depressive state is exhaustion and giving up that you could not get to the bottom if it? Or maybe possibly the depression is actually CPTSD rearing it's head because of the fatigue lowers our ability to keep it back any longer.

Also could manic be us trying to fix ourselves like if we can finally understand why and how or finish or fix our goal in our manic state it will finally uncover the full picture of our issues and lead us to a healthy self perspective. It also feels like in the manic state when it first begins I was in healthy but then trying to keep the feeling/dopemine/something up causes it to spiral to far up and then dive down?

I feel that my mind was practicing or trying out the good but then my reality could no longer be denied and it would bring me crashing to the bad. I have finally gotten out of the bi polar swings. Its been years since I have had issues and I think it is due to Strattera, moving to a better, easier place and letting go of bad people. But it only completely went away when I found acceptance of myself. It went away so fast. When I realized finally there was nothing wrong with me. I was loveable despite being flawed and worthy of treating myself with the same care I treated others it was gone in a night.

I am trying to figure out the exact process. I don't want it to come back and I feel the need to know so I can prevent it or address it if it does and finally what a gift it would be to give others a path out of it.

Hi, just nice to be around others who may understand. I recently found out it was autism this whole time at 34. It's like I can breathe, but it also doesn't help knowing and being out in the world because most people don't understand why I am who I am, even though I am usually well-liked. I live on the top of a mountain, I am very isolated...but now, I can finally understand all the things inbetween all the the other things, that it is the base and root of all the things that make me tick, why I go about the way I do, all of my severe emotional disorders and sensitivities finally have a basis, and I have completed a full analytical diagnosis of myself thanks to finding out I am on the spectrum. It's extremely interesting, but weirdly, harder on me mentally trying to get through life for multiple reasons. I'd like to write a paper about it, but it would be volumes and I have too much to do at this time. Life is really hard...and I feel like if I don't force myself to find new hobbies to master constantly, and have work where I can see results, and have people who voice they love me, I am hitting a glass ceiling here and not interested in the future because I can't deal with all the paperwork and taxes and doctors and adult conversations. I'm genuinely concerned about how I will fair the future, and if I can financially afford to live because I can barely work due to my manic depression. I hate picking up the phone, so I cannot call a doctor and get an appointment, I have severe social anxiety and I'm not ready to do normal things yet. I am barely making it work, and because of where I live, I can manage enough...but I can't adjust to the normal world anymore, I have created a safe space on he mountain. I still need to pay rent and pay bills, but it's hard because when I am depressed or severely angry, I can't function. I hope I'll be okay in the future. Especially when I'm approaching 50's, 60's, etc...I am genuinely scared. Who will help me, or take care of me?