The 80/20 percent thing

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I knew service members in the army who were maximally mediocre in terms of personality and appearance and social standing, score repeatedly. these folks were socially intelligent and knew how to talk to people persuasively.

I am reasonably certain that the scientific method requires the claim of hypergamy to prove itself true in order to be taken as true - as opposed to simply taking it as true unless and until proven false. A common logical fallacy in action.

There's a difference between a woman who's not interested in dating, and a woman who's not interested in dating YOU.

Lots of women suddenly have "schroedingers boyfriend" if they're being hit on by someone they don't like.

And that's still the elephant in the room - the unspoken assumption that one is definitely spiffy enough to warrant attention - if only it wasn't for that pesky hypergamy.

Lotta guys aren't as nice as they think they are. Lotta guys aren't actually that nice at all, even though they think they are. Or funny, or polite, or interesting, or w/e else they think they are.

^^^ true

I think the real question for men who are in the position I was in (Emphasise past tense); where do "we" find these women? Finding Ms Right, it's literally like a game called "Where's Wally".

If I don't blame hypergamy and Chad Thundercock for my struggles, that might mean I have to look at myself as the source of my struggles and that's definitely not it. I mean, my mom says I'm cool so it's definitely not my lack of hygiene or rizz; so it's definitely something that's being done to me unfairly.

Oh believe me I've seen absolutely despicable overweight arrogant loser fellows who seem to have had no trouble finding female intimate (normie) partners. Like prisoners who get fanmail from females. It's almost like there's some type of secret code they know that the rest of us poor suckers weren't privy to.

But of course, we men aren't always self-aware. Something called "social intelligence" which I suspect men who fail in dating struggle with. Yes, you can be "Jesus Christ" and wave your magic wand but something as simple as have poor sinuses and not being able to smell yourself then there's several years of failed dating waiting for you. Some men are cursed with bad body odour and no amount of cologne will help. I'm not making excuses but one thing I could have done better in my 20s is save money for better clothes. I literally purchased all my clothes from target and kmart (including work clothes) so that alone probably screamed "not cashed up" to any prospective female.

In a limited competitive marketplace, any slip up and you are joining the ever growing ranks of the incel club.

Oh the struggle was real. But to be fair, when it did rain females (and I had a few 7-8s interested in me over the years) I also pulled the same straw man BS on them too (like she's a little overweight, she's a little too extroverted, Why is she so into me? so weird, I don't feel comfortable, she made me sandwiches, what does she want? She wants to marry me!! and its only our third date!). So yes I am guilty of sending women mixed signals.

By popular I mean that women want to engage with you and find you attractive. They want to talk with you. They want to go on a date with you. They want to have sex with you. They want to have a romantic relationship with you.

Reason I ask is because I was "popular" for a period but women just wanted to be my friend.

When I was younger I had the opposite problem. I thought it was very easy for me to make female friends, until I realized they had a sexual interest. The solution for me was to go against my instincts and behave more "friendly" with them and try to act in a way that made me appear un-charismatic and defuse any sexual feelings. I don't know if this makes any sense to you, but maybe you could try the other way around.