HEELP! I can't make a good conversation

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Recently I've met this girl, she if physically everything I've ever wanted and I've never had and she is also a very nice girl with good feelings and a great attitude. I like her but she doesn't know yet ..and as fas as her friends have told me she likes me too. So far everything looks great right?? Problem is ..well ..me, I try to talk with her but I'm in college and mostly I don't have time..so basically we use to chat via msn..but honestly I suck at talking on the messenger (even more than in real person). I simply don't now what to tell her even though I have strong feelings for her, I simply don't have the slight-less idea of how to make a conversation ..I always get stuck in the -hi how are you doing?? ..- fine thanks and u?? ..-fine what have you done? -not much .I get the feeling she is starting to get bored of me. Do you have any tips on how to improve my conversation ?? please help. before I mess everything up as I usually do..
One other thing though.. I'm only thaat bad at talking to her specifically , does this means we don't have good chemistry or not??

Yeah, nothing quite like that awkward pause after the "yeah, I'm OK too" part. Unfortunately, it means that for whatever reason, she isn't confiding in you the details of her daily life. Something like, "Yeah, I gotta cram for my Biology exam tomorrow," or "My brother is coming to visit and I don't know WHAT to do with him." So if she won't, you gotta. Don't complain (at least not without some humor), but volunteer some info about you, casually. "Well, I'm on my way to meet some guys to play racquetball. I have NO idea how to play, but I look so cool in those goggles I just can't pass it up."

In other words, take some mundane thing from your life and dress it up with some humor. Not the "Oh man that was SOOO funny" humor but the "heh, how bout that" kind. Once you say something, she can reciprocate with something from HER life. You nod, say something about it, and next thing you know, you're having a conversation.

who said you need to talk?

Read a news paper before you meet her and try to find some light hearted topic in the paper, read the article and when you see her after the inital greeting ask her what she thinks of XYZ.

eg, at the local zoo cute the fluffy thing has had babies.

Pay attention to what she has to say, you might hear something interesting from her.

Do not pick any topic which is macho sport, politics and contraversal.

One of my best friends sometimes starts a conversation and it's like:

Him: what's up?

Me: nothing:p

Him: yeah I'm bored too..

Me: oh:\

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

usually the conversation dies there, unless I start asking questions:p



Here's usually what I do on chat programs etc:


Me: hey

other person: hey

Me: How are you?

Op: a) I'm okay b) I'm good c)I'm not doing to great.
how are you?

Me: a) Just okay? how come?/ Like.. happy okay or blah okay? b) Anything happened to make your day awesome? c) Oh no, how come/what's wrong?
I'm [enter mood of choice], thanks

Op: a) [short one word answer] b) [explains why they're feeling this way]

well.. this is kind of where you pick up the conversation yourself.

If she tells you about her day/feelings, comment on how she's feeling etc.
If it's good, show that it makes you happy (e.g. OH that's awesome! How/where/what/when [insert question] and if it's bad: Oh I'm so sorry:\ Why/how/etc. [insert question]...

If OP doesn't want to discuss their feelings/day, just add something, that happened to you recently (something at school/work, something you saw/read/are looking forward to etc.), to the conversation


e.g.: Did you know so and so band are coming to [enter city] next month? I so wish I could get tickets for it!
Have you ever heard of them? (this, for instance, opens a music themed conversation)

She could say 'no' and you could ask her about their favourite bands etc.

Usually from this point the conversation will have enough to flow naturally, just keep showing interest in her and what she does etc.




I usually don't do much with my day, but even so, I'll tell people:p

e.g. oh uhm, well I ended up cleaning up my room, I found tons of old books and things I wrote when I was 8...
And after that I did some knitting.. I'm so going to die an old cat lady >_<

stuff like that.Your day doesn't have to sound like it came out of a movie, if you can make something sound like fun or interesting, people's attention will be perked.

Well, you have the necessarry equipment to do it because you have a brain and the basic communicaton skills to do it. I used to get lost deep in conversation with myself, eventually I found out I did this because I had no one else to talk to, that doesn't have to be a bad thing either.

You just have to realize that everything she says has to be analyzed and you have to understand what you feel about it. I think a major problem is that you will ultimately trust what she says and people are ultimately proven to be untrue.

Since you seem to understand something about her nature, think about why you like this. Realize that just because you have feelings for her doesn't mean she is aware of them. You have to convince her, and a true scientist would start from his most accurate perception of her and slowly guide her to his concept, just keep in mind that the more you confuse her, the more likely you are to offend her.

My personal solution to this is picking the words that make sense to me and only using them, I think you can have a lot of success if you see it that way, do you?

She might not really want to talk... she might not be much of a conversationalist... some ladies like to let you do all the talking so that they can find out more about you...

I've been in the situation where I would just talk to a girl and be feeling comfortable about the conversation and then she would suddenly go quiet... and nothing I could say would get it going again and then next would be she has to go, she'll talk to me later and I don't hear from her again... or for a long time.

I think like someone else said, you'll just have to be a scientist about it and observe your next conversation with her. Does she respond to anything you say? She may even enjoy having awkward silences with you! Maybe you don't need to change a thing!

I once had a long term relationship with a girl that begin with us having totally confusing phone conversations... to this day I'm not sure how our relationship ever took off and I don't ever remember feeling like we had any "chemistry" whatsoever. So you never know...

I say, keep cool, keep having the "non conversations" as long as she at least says high to you irl or online, consider yourself on good terms with her...

In the mean time You might want to offer to take her out to get a bite to eat or to a movie... and don't sweat it if she turns down the offer!

You can't think to prove yourself wrong because you can't think to prove yourself right, it's a paradox and no one ever told me about it until now.

Hey thanks I have been having the exact same problem.