Employment help
I have had many jobs in my life. Finding work isn't the hard part, keeping it is.
Problem #1: I make the exact same facial expresion when I am concentrating on what I am doing as when I am pissed. People think I am mad all the time. And then I have hard time convincing them I am not mad, just working. Or driving, or reading, or watching TV. Or concentrating on anything.
Problem #2: I have severe anxiety before I go to work to the point of getting physically ill. This is the biggest problem of all.
Problem #3: I do not like working alone since I have ADD as well. I have a hard time staying on task. Asperger's + ADD=Daydream about crap. This was fine when they had me taking Adderal for the ADD. I did the same things, but a warp speed. Adderal! Coke for Kids! lol
Problem #4: I view money as nothing but little bits of paper with numbers on it that I use to get stuff. So to say that money is not a motivating factor in my life is understatement. I love bartering and trading.
Problem #5: I resent dominating authority. I cannot work for someone who is a "Do as I say, not as I do" type. Unfortunately, lots of bosses manage this way. Lay a heavy hand on a thorn bush long enough and you'll some away injured.
I have all of the skills necessary to land a job. I just need advice on fixing some of these problems to keep the work I do get. Any ideas?
Hi There,
Have you worked for the government before? Sometimes they're better on disability issues. Though I understand that those types of jobs may not fit your interests, et cetera. RE: the problems you mentioned:
-Same facial expressions despite different feelings: I have this, too. Sometimes I look very serious and it's just in order to concentrate. Maybe write up something about having AS (or whatever condition) and how it looks to people. Give it to those you work closely with. I have a sample work/school letter on my blog (see profile).
-High anxiety level: Me, too. Walking into an office is like walking the plank. I tend to arrive with stomach aches and leave with headaches. Maybe get there 1/2 hour before everyone else to settle in. And/or take breaks. Also bring food, since it's really easy to not eat during the day. This sounds weird, but it sometimes works: make a list of positive sayings, memorize them, and repeat in your head (i.e., "I have a wonderful job; I love my job," et cetera). Also listen to calming music during the day if you want and can.
-Don't like working alone due to ADD: Talk with boss about what group projects you can get involved in. Also volunteer to serve on office committees. Meet with boss regularly. Also tell potential employers of your love for working in groups. They like that.
-Money: open a savings account and direct-deposit earnings into it. Go to the bank to withdraw money instead of paying ATM fees.
-Authority at work: While we all have problems dealing with the hypocrisy of being adults yet having to obey bosses, it's just something you have to accept. Find a non-work person to talk with about boss issues, hopefully a therapist who understands the LD issues, and ask them to help whenever there's a coworker problem. I sometimes wait until I can talk to my therapist when I'm confused about social messages. At the risk of sounding obvious, keep negative comments to yourself at work. We with socially-affective LD issues are very vulnerable to workplace craziness and must keep ourselves safe.
There's more about this on my blog (search "nld musings"). Thanks, -hannahcamille
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hannahcamille
http://nldthoughtsandfeelings.wordpress.com
(blog on living with spectrum conditions)
Problem #5: I resent dominating authority. I cannot work for someone who is a "Do as I say, not as I do" type. Unfortunately, lots of bosses manage this way. Lay a heavy hand on a thorn bush long enough and you'll some away injured.
thats really just something you gotta learn to deal with, really.
Almost all supervisiors are that way, they are paid to be that way. They are in charge, you work for them, so there really isn't alot to do. You're paid to listen to them, not to be their friend.
I don't like it when someone has authority over me, either, but we all have to deal with it regardless of our disability and it's just something we have to overcome.
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If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.
On the 5th one, it's only a problem when it close to being over the top. I've had plenty of great bosses, but some of them were slave drivers.
It's more of a problem with aliances. I will bend myself over backward into a pretzel for my friends and people I like. If I have a boss who doesn't at least try to play nice to a degree, it sort of puts me at odds.
And another problem I have it I don't have a college education. I just have a GED, since I dropped out my senior year. I like computers, but I don't want to be a programmer or something. I must be atypical for an aspie, since I would rather hang myslef than work in a cubicle.
But all the other problems pale against the anxiety. I've tried showing up early, it just makes the anxiety worse since I'm now in the place giving me grief. I can't eat anything, because I throw it up. I can't take breaks, because I mainly work in the food industry and you only get maybe three 10 minute smoke breaks per shift. And saying positive things to myself only goes so far when you keep throwing up on the clock. I lost 25 pounds in a month at the last job I had because I couldn't keep anything down whilst dreading work.
Have you seen a doctor?
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hannahcamille
http://nldthoughtsandfeelings.wordpress.com
(blog on living with spectrum conditions)