Are social situations a gamble for you?

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Does anyone else experience social situations as a bit of a gamble? For example, sometimes I say something, thinking it's completely inane or obvious, and it turns out to be a hilarious joke, everyone laughs uproariously. At other times I'll say something which I think is ingeniously funny, and just get blank stares, or have accidently offended half the group.

EDIT: I then take note of what happened and try and figure out why something was funny or offensive, for future reference, but half the time when I try to replicate the situation I get it completely wrong and have no idea what I've missed - sometimes it feels impossible to predict people's reactions!

Have similar situations happened to you?

All the time. Been told I don't talk much, but the reason is I've learned not to speak unless I know something won't flop. Even then, it sometimes does.

It sucks not being able to act freely & naturally. However, when we do, it turns out bad. That's the one thing I wish NTs could truly understand.

^^ Yaye me also! ^^ As I progressed through school I found a system that appeared to function for me and result in the fact that I could often not offend any individual. However, as I have now departed from school and attend University and rarely take part in social situations, and appear to have forgotten this system. I am worried I may now offend individuals again (I have developed great social anxiety).

I'll sometimes say things that pretty will find absolutely hysterical and end up wondering why it was funny

I do pretty well in one-off social situations, though sometimes my take on things will offend someone. At the same time, others will find it hilarious or appropriate or insightful... obviously, I like those folks a lot better.

I've found, as an adult, every general social setting includes a real mix of people with many differing points of view and I'm just another one. I also use a lot of humor with my style, so my points of view come over a bit gentler, less threatening I think.

It's smaller, more selected groups that I sink like a lead weight in, where relationships develop and sort of the NT hive mind take over.

A "gamble" might be a good way to put it. It's hit and miss, and I'd imagine it's that way for a lot of people on the spectrum.

Eh, NTs make no sense. I'll crack a joke and they stare blankly. I'll say something genuinely bitter and they'll laugh like chimpanzees.

They definitely are. I can either somehow be liked or say the right thing or I could appear as obnoxious, say something stupid and appear as a moron. This damn social game, I will never get.

This only happens to me when I talk to people.

Most of the time it's not too bad, but I do the same thing and assess what I said and what the reaction was for future reference.

In can be depending on who it is. It's always a gamble on the phone though, today I completely f****d up a phone call to my best friend's dad!

Yeah silence is a great tool, but in a social situation you're valued for your input to the debate/conversation, so unless your few words are golden nuggets that have people staring to the ceiling in profound thought, or on the floor with 'split slides', then your worth is 'devalued' in this group, and according to NT rules you therefore shall be less likely to be invieted next time....

....and on the everyone else laughing point, that's just frustrating, and especially horrible if the quicker group members spot you're not 'joining in'....wierd. For some reason, they see a joke, when you see a fact/reality. Sometimes you'll find that only vaguely amusing. Sometimes that fact/reality actually has the reverse effect on you, and you see pain/sadness in the point of humour: that's the worst situation.

And then there's having to 'join the dots' for them when they don't get a joke, and by the time you've joined the dots for them, they just grin and do a harhar fake chortle......NT humour is just different to AS humour.

Constantly. It's gotten to the point that I just don't speak to more than one or two people at a time for fear of inadvertently pissing off an entire group.

I've about had it in general with folks.... the last two years it just seems like no matter what I do, people are either pissed off at me or scared of me.

All without loosing my temper, telling someone what I thought of them (as if I thought of them ) or walking out on them.

Heaven only knows what would have happened if they'd ever caught me in a bad mood... hanging? Stoning?

The past 2 years have been like a witch trial, for about the same reasons... one person doesn't quite fit...

Ah. Public outings.

Always a new opportunity to shove my foot in my mouth in new and unexpected ways.

Through extensive experience, I have found simple sandals to be the more appropriate footwear for such occasions... the tread on my hiking boots holds to much dirt... makes my speech muddy

I can relate to this completely.