Does confidence comes from others or from within?

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I think confidence is something that is earned. People give it to you due to your charisma. Some people don't have it like most Aspies. It does not come from within. If you go out all of a sudden and fake confidence, you would get ridiculed. Poeple will take advantage of you. It's just best to be yourself and respect your true self.

Confidence comes from within (it is measured by the degree of fear you perceive in your surroundings), a lack of confidence on the other hand comes from your assessment of other peoples reactions to you (if these reactions are socially positive, it builds your confidence). Confidence can come from within if you're willing/able to percieve threats appropriately and face your irrational fears in so doing.

Combination - being treated badly will ruin peoples' self confidence.

Synonyms are assurance and self-possession. Confidence is marked by a freedom from uncertainty, diffidence, or embarrassment.

Confidence stresses faith in oneself and one's powers. The quality or state of being certain.

Confidence comes from within based on knowledge of one's abilities and experiences of successfully handling similar situations.

When we enter a situation with an unrealistic impression of our skills and fail, we feel our confidence shaken. We didn't have the skills, our faith was misplaced, our knowledge incomplete.

The first time I fried an egg, it came out too hard. The same thing happened the second and third time. I paid attention, didn't cook it so long, and now I can make a perfect fried egg. I have complete confidence in my ability to cook an egg to my satisfaction.

But I would be mistaken if I thought I knew how to cook an egg to your satisfaction. I have little confidence in my ability to do that... we would have to work together to establish what you like in an egg, and develop my ability to create that.

A simplistic example, but useful, I think.

I think confidence comes from within. From personal experience, I have noticed all forms of attention cause my confidence level to drop (usually 0, than it goes into the neg.'s -1-...). It doesn't matter if its good attention (I hate it) or negative (I don't care). My confidence is non existent. This odd for an Aspie/Autie ?

Confidence in what? That's the key.
Am I confident I can deliver a baby? Nooooo.
Am I confident I can grow a very nice tomato? Yes!

Am I attached to my lack of confidence? That'd be being a victim and I refuse!

Complicated topic.

First of all:

I am sure confidence comes from within. You're confident if you can stand up for self even in times of great terror.

What others have that is usually called confidence by people is being able to stand up for yourself when you have support from other people.

People like this, if they are out on their own they freak, despair and become mad, despite that they are said to posses great confidence by their peers.

Best to have both types of 'confidence' though though. Being able to stand up for yourself and others acknowledging that fact.

Because the second thing is:

Just because you are confident, nobody else automatically acknowledges that.

I'm told I'm very confident by professionals who have assessed me and I agree but most people in my everyday live think that I am very insecure and shy.

My autism makes it impossible to show my confidence in a believable or recognisable way, especially when my neurology makes me react in a certain way without it having to do with confidence or my personal choices and preferences. You know - just like how a person with numb legs cannot walk doesn't mean he's not confident it doesn't mean I'm 'insecure' when I meltdown or shutdown if being touched or otherwise overstimulated.

There are lots of misunderstanding and conflicts because of my self-confidence but the lack of the others-imagine-you-are-confident-thingy.

both for sure. You have to learn to shrug off what people say and do to attempt to bring you down though. Remember Dr. Suess: Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind.


Smart man he was.

I think it's both. No matter how hard you work to develop confidence, if you're the object of constant ridicule, it's not going to work.. there needs to be something on the outside too, or how do you keep it up? I've worked in therapy to improve self esteem and confidence.. but how do you maintain that if all the outside feedback is negative?

Both.

I bypassed confidence and took a swim in the pool of arrogance.

Within, because people are confident that I'll do great (in whatever situation), and my confidence is shot despite their support.

If everyone else does things to make you feel unconfident, but you take the attitude of, they aren't better than me I'M better than them, they are morons, and I am smart! Nothing combats low self esteem like thinking that no matter how people treat you you are better than them. A healthy dose of ego goes a long way. If YOU don't have a high opinion of yourself, NO ONE will. People respect you when you show them you are just as confident as ever and maybe MOREso BECAUSE of them trying to make you feel unconfident. They start to doubt themselves and start acting like maybe you are not the loser they thought, since you carry your head high, and walk with a "NO ONE steps on ME, I don't care about you mocking peons" attitude, smiling. You always get the last laugh, and you'll see those people apologizing for what they did to you and even sucking up to you in no time!! !
Confidence takes effort, when it comes from within. If everyone around you does everything to make you feel confident, you will be confident with no problem, but it only lasts as long as such people are around. If you want a true and healthy confidence that combats anyone you come across and to never have low self-esteem again it has to come from the strength of spirit and self-respect that is within.

They say confidence is best when it comes from within. To a point, I think this is valuable advice, however, to assume one should never take into account the opinions or reactions of others is blind-sighted and can often turn strong self-confidence into arrogant narcissism. I think that there should be a balance of sources of confidence.

I've grown in confidence since gaining an explanation to my life's difficulties and take pride in the steps I've made towards integration. I must admit, however, that much of this confidence wouldn't be there without the validation of my husband and children and the countless other stories from other Aspies I've read. They help guide me to understand when I am right and when I should consider changing something. I realize these things are subject to individual standards, but for my own standards to form, I must have enough research data from real-life experiences of myself and others to analyze.

I know it sounds mechanical, but that's how I am with most things.