An Aspergerian Love Letter

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This is something that is most definitely out of my norm. But this is both different and something I think you’d be able to appreciate.

I met you in 2005. We didn't really know each other that well. But the first time I saw a picture of you, I thought you were gorgeous. Then we started talking a bit more. But sadly, my mind is a blank until about 2007.

Fast forward. 2007. You come into #khu. I was excited to see you, even if we weren't the best of friends. But we started talking more and more. If I remember correctly, our first subject was about The Sims 2. And it went from there.

Then, Christmas time 2008: I was able to send you a christmas card with a special something inside. Two of my fractal flames. One of which, I sent to everybody that year. And the other, was one I only meant for you to have. Because you had asked me to make it for you. The Evolution of Happiness, you had decided to call it.

Valentine's Day 2009: I was able to send you the "Binary Love" shirt, because I thought you'd be able to appreciate it.

March 2009: I disappeared from the collective mind of the internet. I was scared. I thought you hated me. That month was one of the most depressing times of my entire life. I would wake up every morning and the first thought that came to mind was this:

'I miss you.'

April 22nd 2009: After school, I crash on my bed, mind numb from the idiotic stupidity of my classmates. A few hours later, I wake up to my bedroom door opening and my father coming in with a rather thick package in his hands.

It's from you. The person I had missed the most.

I opened the package with excitement and a bit of shock. Inside were five things. A skeleton themed beenie, the Aphex Twin!Bailout drawing/the tribute to Dexter/A CD with music on it. And your journal.

We had discussed it before in the past. How it was a sanctuary for your thoughts. And how you were very reluctant to let others read it.

But you sent it to me anyways. You told me that you had trusted me with your entire being once, and here was the proof. It also meant that I was wrong: that you did not hate me and that you still cared about me.

The truth of the matter is: I am not Gordon Freeman, The G-man, OverTheGun, Lev Yilmaz, Djy1991, The Doctor, Daft Punk, David Tennant, Christopher Eccleston, Rorschach, Dexter, Aphex Twin, the Come to Daddy monster, The Mighty Boosh A headcrab, a necromorph, the Happy Mask Salesman, Kayvan Novak and all the other people/beings/monsters that we have conversations about.

But, there is one glorious advantage that comes with being me. Something I wouldn’t trade for any fictional identity, any physical item, anything at all.


The fact that I met, got to know and fall in love with you.


I want you to know a few things:

I think you’re an amazing individual. I think you’re beautiful. You’re one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met. Sometimes it might not seem like it, but you’ve helped make me a better person. And I have a reason to get up after my defeats and cheer a bit harder when I triumph.


I need you. I miss you. I love you.

I will wait for you, even if it takes the rest of my life.

For all we need to survive, is one person who truly loves us.

And I love you, with all of my heart and soul.

Very aspie, too. It took you until now to figure out how you feel about a girl you met in 2005. Surely she has moved on and forgotten about you by now. Don't send this letter or surely you will be taking the unwanted initiative.

I also have trouble evaluating how I feel about a person while she is in my presence. My best answer I can imagine when asked, would be "I'll call you. I need a few days to sort this out." But that will surely perplex and exclude the possibility of a second date with someone who expects me to move fast and without thinking.

I'd love to have the guts to send a girl a letter like that.